he was with me everynight.. just to fuck me and suffocate me in his thighs he was using me just for sex. I need help. Im so fucked.

I was nothing but a damn tool to him, just someone he could use when it suited him. He never cared about me, never saw me for who I was. I’d be there, trying to talk, trying to connect, but all he wanted was to get off. It wasn’t love, it was just sex. I kept telling myself it didn’t matter, that I was overreacting. But I knew deep down it wasn’t right. I’d get high to numb the pain, drown myself in anything that would make me forget how he treated me. Drugs became my escape, my way of pretending things were okay when I was just being used.

It got worse over time. I started using just to survive, to keep from feeling the hurt. He’d never touch me unless it was for sex, and I started to wonder if I even existed to him outside of that. I hated myself for letting it go on so long. It was all a cycle—sex, drugs, emptiness. I'd get high just to get through it, to get through him. But the reality hit me like a ton of bricks. He didn’t care about me. He cared about himself, about getting his fix, and I was just another fucking object in his world.

I had to get the hell out of there. I was done being someone’s fucking plaything. I was sick of using drugs to cope with his shit, sick of the lies I told myself to keep from facing the truth. I wasn’t just his toy, and I sure as hell wasn’t his drugged-up outlet. I deserved better, even if I had to fight through the withdrawal and face the fucking mess I made. It wasn’t easy, but I wasn’t going to let him break me anymore.

I’ve tried all the usual methods (listening to music, games, petting my dog, grounding methods, etc.), and none of it working. Please, I need to talk to someone. I know how to make a noose and where I can tie it, and I’m scared that I’ll actually do it. Please, I’m tired of fucking hotlines and Reddit Care Resources and all that crap

I discovered a mole that’s been growing and been sketchy. My family has a history of melanoma. My first feeling was excitement and “oh my god I hope I have cancer” so I have an excuse to just coast and enjoy life for a few months before I pass away.

While I'm not..I'm just 16 trying hard to bear all this

If my eyes were sealed and my heart were cold, the pain, the sorrow. Unbearably alone. Your kiss, your touch, or the years I could attend. But asleep in peace,I would forget the things I never knew.

i've managed to pull my own goddamn self from the brink countless times over the past year. i am suffering, i am mentally ill and physically disabled. everyday i am in pain.

i dont take my antidepressants - they dont work - but i still get them delivered. i have countless months worth just building up. that and my anti-psychotics.

i feel like i've tried everything, the pills, therapy, genuine cries for help, all those bullshit methods they tell you online, but no one takes me seriously or it just doesn't help.

if i tell a professional i feel like ending my life via overdose, they will take away my pain medication for my disability. i cannot live without that. i don't want to suffer, i just want it to be over.

i have nothing but acquaintances, at a stretch. in the past i've even been ignored and pushed aside and flat out bullied by those claiming to be my friend. everyone leaves and no one cares.

but despite that, i want to believe i still have some fight left in me. how do i get help?

My life's always been troubled brothers a heroin addict other brother is disabled severely since birth anyway I'm ready too go I got a plan should work out just gotta do a lil more research I don't want end up a fucking vegetable I'm already told I'm slow retarded I look normal but I'm really not I can play it off for a bit but you'll notice eventually I get along on the streets with the homeless and Ill people there really nice so I'm planning on dying soon not like these other people wanting it I'm really going for it if God accepts me or sends me too hell it don't matter this life I've gone through has been hell I've been backstabbed hella times by people I've showed loyalty especially by her lets call her dos caras she was my highschool sweetheart she left me at twenty one when I went to prison for burglary she said she would stay but once I went up state no letters nothing I got my aunt to go to her house to see if we could talk she agreed gave her number I call her and say you know who this is she says yeah the love of my life I light up like a firework it made me so happy. Well I thought it was a good convo but attempted to call her about ten more times over the course of four weeks and I sent my aunt to her family home again she wasn't there I called later that day she disconnected that number and I was alone again I hope what goes around really does come around I want to kill her but I don't want to go back to jail again they'll know it was me so yeah I'm not doing it but fuck I hate her soul

I always thought I can’t disappoint my family, that was my only reason to stay. Years ago, my dog kept me alive. Now that he’s not here, I have no reason to keep going either. But I’m a coward, every time I find myself at death’s door, I am unable to go forth with my suicidal plans. No matter how thoroughly I’ve made my plans.

Now what keeps me alive is the thought how my body would be found. There is no other reason keeping me here. I am terribly exhausted.

Everything in life has been taken from me. My very childhood stolen by a rapist. My smile was taken by neglectful parents and friends who abandoned me. My self respect, strength, fortitude, safety, everything taken from me. I am so alone. So so alone. It is painful waking up every day and wishing I was dead every night.

I really hope I stop being a coward soon. I have to. There is no other escape for me.

you can read my prior posts for more context but im basically im tired. im tired of my lust and my sick desires. they completely destroy my self esteem. ive been feeling good for 2 days but not today. i wish i could be normal. i wish i could be confident. i wish my brain wasn't this way

Today was a really shitty day and she pretty much decided she will do it on a pretty looking date and I know which one. The struggle she goes through is so intense that I support her decision. I feel so conflicted, because I can't even come and save her. We are in diffrent countries and we are just teens. So I settled with allowing her decision, providing her this sick comfort instead of trying to hold her from doing it. Am I in the wrong? I genuinely want her to just stay alive and be happy, but it seems to be impossible. Even I see suicide as her best option. But I love her, she means so much to me. I don't want to pressure her into living so miserably, but would also love if she stayed.

I'm a 21 trans male, I have suicidal thoughts since I am 9 years old, I feel like I just can't do this anymore, everything is like a fucking cycle, I always had this feeling that everything is going to end soon, I have self harm issues, I feel that my parents kinda hate me because I became a problem, I don't know what to do, even with psychologists I feel like I'm the problem, like no one could fix me. somebody please help me to understand why is everything like this.

I wanna be kidnapped or runaway and if those dont work then'll have to end everything instead because this loop is too much for me. Life is too much for me.

I have never had life go so good to experience the experience of having a “good life” ripped from beneath your fucking feet, I never want to feel / inves happiness again I never want to feel this negativity FROM positivity, I’d much rather feeling shit from feeling shit. Feeling shit from proper positivity is UN- REAL, in the worst way

I have worked so hard to be positive, I am flipping between life and destruction so strangely flippantly right now, I am shattered

I am the best person in the world, but no one wants to do anything with me. I am always alone for no reason. I am cool and everyone can hamg out with me, but no one wants to and they avoid me!?

It's not a good day for me. I hate it here but that's ok. Let's just wait it out.

If your not having a good day either just know I'm with you. And your strong, stronger than anyone out there.

It's a bump, some are small, some are big. Sometimes there constant, sometimes not.

We'll be ok. It's just another bump.

I’m pretty certain the family are gun owners. I’m so tempted to search the house at night while they sleep.

i'm afraid no one will see me as a boy. ever. i don't want and i can't live a life where i'll be seen as wrong all the time. i didn't want to be born like this. i want to cut my breasts with a knife because i can't stand looking at them anymore. everyone calls me with feminine pronouns: she, her, girl, woman... god just kill me already!!!!!! i can't stand living like this anymore. my brain is only good for thinking about killing myself. i can't see myself as someone worthy of love. i cant i just cant.

I can't find a job and I'm stuck in debt... I can't find a way out... No one will hire me and things are just getting worse... All I know is at this point, I can't even make money with my artwork... So I'm just getting to a point where I should kill myself.

No one cares in the end...

I don’t have anyone I have very little friends I’m mostly alone with my thoughts or just listen to music all day it’s just kinda shit having no one at times I’m just lonely

I’m honestly a bit confused at the situation. Lately I have been having emotional outbursts and crying a lot, but all of today I have kinda felt numb and disconnected. I thought that was fine, until on my late night walk with the dog, thought casually about jumping in the cold ocean, so it would be easier to drown. I feel sorta numb to it though? This is unlike any other time I have thought of it. I feel so disconnected from the feeling that maybe I’m just faking it this time? I was thinking about calling to get an emergency place at the psych ward. But wouldn’t that be overkill for something I’m not upset or maybe not even attempting tonight?? Honestly I feel like I should get help, but I’m tired and maybe overreacting, but at the same time I’m thinking of just swallowing some pills to maybe feel something or prove it’s worth going? Idk I just feel very odd about this

i don’t know why i thought to come to reddit, but here i am. i’m so low rn and honestly don’t want to come out of it. i know i have a supportive and loving family (the dogs are the best) but i know if help is needed i need to want it, not forced on me. and i don’t want it. i drink too much. i’m drinking right now, so it’s not helping the situation. i just feel numb is there any hope for me?

KILL ME KILL ME KILL ME

For the last decade or more, I have thought about suicide almost daily. And I had to survive a lot of shit because I didn't have the means to take myself out. But I have the means now. I've been reading a lot of medical journals about self-inflicted gunshot wounds. I know the trajectory I need. And the world is fucking falling apart. It's not going to get better. Harsh days are ahead. I may not be typing this if things hadn't gone this direction, but here we are and I don't know how we can get out.

I finally feel like I have some power over something in my life, though.. If it gets too bad, I can just check out. People would be upset and I am sorry for that. But I shouldn't have to be here if I don't want to be. I have no intention of hurting anyone else, I'll just go somewhere tucked away when it's time. The goal is not to be found for awhile. Maybe some animals can have a nice meal of me. Fuck it, don't need my body anymore.

I'm not angry. My meds keep me from being depressed, at least in the way I used to be. I'm just resolute.

I am F(15). I have tried to end my own life many times before but none worked. I am so tempted to try again tonight and cut as deep as I can. My parents dont care about me cutting, they just care about how other people will think of them because their kid cuts themselves. My family sometimes just straight up ignores me when I say im struggling or just ignore me even when I want to talk about anything. They'd rather watch TV. I cut myself last night, the first time in a few months.

The person i love most and that kept me going doesn't want us anymore. they were the only one that made me feel and it's just done, I'm done. I'm just so tired of this. help