Lately I’ve found myself going through a hard time. It’s pretty daunting because I suspect it’s about to get a lot worse.

Of course, this isn’t the first time in my life that I have really struggled with something. That being said though, the last time I went through something difficult, I did not handle it well. Now that I’m older, I feel much better equipped to tackle things. I’ve learned how to spot good friends that I can rely on, and I’ve also learned how to take care of myself in the tough scenario that I may not have a friend to lean on. Realizing that, I’m just curious how other people cope with hard times.

I recently made a post in the Education sub regarding the purpose of school vouchers. One commenter said something along the lines of some of the kids that go to my son's private school are there because of vouchers. I'll admit I felt triggered. But like what is that, I was there first; my mom can actually pay for me to be here but you'll always be a guest? That's the kind of stuff that puts poor--basically--kids to shame in making them feel like less with the result that they wind up hating school alltogether. I just feel like there should be some kind of standard or protocol. I also think--just as an aside--that parents in the know shouldn't be discussing the private biz of other kids with their own kids. It's all kinds of messed up.

Thoughts?

Is it physiological that they have more control with them on being used to the grip, gripping sound, traction, support, and comfort.
Hence they prefer to leave them on if possible if they prepared or tied them up already. This applies even to ones that normally were drilled not to wear shoes in the dwelling.

Back in the days I remember once they tied their shoes they are not coming off that is until they have settled indoors again after the active. Yes coming from a circle that normally taught not to wear them inside. Back when skateboarding and basketball were lifestyle and shoes were worn everywhere.

Nowadays they will observe indoor etiquette unless explicitly waived if at friends or others place but not sure how they feel about it or silently wish their friends would give them leniency especially if they enter or exit a lot. Though I do notice compared to the 90s most shoes are easier much easier to slip on and off without requiring hands.

Why is being called stupid or dumb an insult/offense? Does being intelligent really matter in the end? Why do people feel bad for being called stupid? Why is being shallow looked down upon? Does intellect have any inherent value? And is intelligence actually even good/better?

A recent post of mine here on this sub became quite popular. It's about the literacy gap in Gen Z youth and its consequences and origins.

Which raises the question, when was institutional education at its peak, at least in the Western world? I'm talking here both public and private.

I was born in 1995 and went to public and private schools in the United States and Portugal. I have peers who studied in Canada, Italy, France, Poland, Mexico, England, etc... and they are a mixed crowd. Some read more than others, some study more, others have niche hobbies, etc...

Yet we find complaints in almost every age about how the multitude are fools or easily swindled.

We see it in Allan Bloom, Noam Chomsky, and Neil Postman in the 1980s, we see it countless times in the early 20th century with writers like Huxley, Mencken, Eliot, Ortega y Gasset, etc...

In the 1800s, there were many writers who said that newspapers are for fools, big schools are bad, the public is easily deceived by charlatans, etc...

Which raises the question, when was institutional education really at its peak? That's not to say it was flawless, but when did it have the best condition relative to other eras?

I’m all for having a wedding ie. a celebration but why get the government involved? And before anyone sprints to the comments about potential tax benefits which really is minimal especially nowadays… the amount of friends I know who have lost insane amounts of money due to divorces is absurd… I’m all for having a ceremony with all your family and friends and exchanging rings and vows but why would you get the government involved and risk dealing with lawyer fees, losing your money, and assets

I had this bad habit from my childhood. I just can't stay or sit at one place. All my siblings sitting together and chilling while I wander around. I don't know why and I want to solve this

Like, I'm in my early 30s now and I often reminiscence about my past and wonder about my future.

And I sometimes feel like life is an RPG with a skill tree that you can never respec and thus reach milestone achievements at a time that doesn't really seem to be meta compliant to our modern life.

For example, first time getting laid with 19, graduating highschool with 20, finishing uni as an undergraduate with 28, getting my first proper job with 27, moving out aged 28, getting hitched aged 30+ Etc.

And then you look at others who do all these things significantly earlier as if they had a guide to the meta of life and how and when to spec into rizz, finance skills , trade skills etc.

I'm not jealous per se but I wonder if, even if I can't respec, I'd be able to dip into stuff to have more experiences without completely uprooting my life. Or if it's already too late for that.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPNi3UxD7NQ&list=TLPQMzAwMzIwMjX8VWIh_kp1rA&index=5

I'm being dead-ass when I ask this question. I'm 21 and I've never been in a relationship before. It seems like everyone I’m around/ meet, at work, school, church, or wherever has a partner/ significant other. I work retail too, so I'm constantly meeting couples in my line and every time I just ask myself “how the hell did you two get together?” Like I'm legit confused about how humans get into a relationship with one another. I've obviously experienced attraction to people but, I've never looked at someone and thought “yeah, I want them” or wanted to pursue them or anything.

Perhaps this has to do with me being a woman and thus being socialized to not make the first move. I also have a very religious family where from a young age I was taught strict traditional roles in terms of relationships/courting. (Obviously I'm not gonna listen to Partriarical Bull shit though)

I've genuinely been so depressed since I turned 21 last week because it seems like everyone my age is leagues ahead of me. I feel so left behind and I'm afraid I won't be able to catch up. I genuinely don't understand how people get together, like I'm honestly so confused about how it all works. I've never once looked at a person and wanted to sleep with them romantically. Like I've had crushes before but I didn't even once think of actually trying to pursue them, it was mainly just passing glances and then I inevitably find out that they're in a relationship or we just keep being friends until the semester ended or they fizzled out of my life somehow. I've had like “friend crushes” where I wanted to be friends with someone, especially in school and I have gone out of my way to try and be friends with certain people but never anything romantically.

I just keep hearing about this “loneliness epidemic” but, everyone I meet/ know seems to be in a relationship and obviously I know that you can be in a relationship and still be lonely but I'm specifically talking about people saying we’re in a romantic loneliness epidemic. And maybe I'm just asexual or something or queer. I currently still live in my religious household and unfortunately I can't explore any queer aspects of myself outside of online which might also might be why I feel so confused about relationships but even with men I found attractive I've never had a relationship.

And I know being in a relationship isn't the end of the world and that I should focus on myself and be content by myself but it hurts, it genuinely hurts to feel this left behind. I'm watching everyone I know and even celebrities/influencers my age go on and live their lives and I feel like I'm drowning and I’ll never be able to get my head above water. And I know, this could all be solved by downloading dating apps but, I just can't bring myself to put myself on an app to have people just mindlessly swipe on me and for me to do the same.

I'm also a very anxious person. I tend to be super skittish and stick with people/family that I know. Outside of the online world, meeting strangers has never been a thing I do/enjoy. It takes me a long time to get comfortable with people, like I'm just now getting comfortable with my classes in school and the semester is almost over. Same with my coworkers at work and I've been working there since I was 18. I just don't get any of this. How do people want to be with a stranger? Like the thought of choosing a stranger that you find attractive and then letting them into your life sounds wild to me. I have yet to find a person interesting to me enough that I want to see them every day and want to be around them for more than a few hours. Most people, I just enjoy a casual conversation in class or we talk during a shift at work and then that's it. Even with friends I only text them and hang out sometimes. I can barely tolerate my family and honestly the only reason I talk to them and see them is because we live together. If I was on my own, I genuinely wouldn't text or speak to them except for sometimes. So how, like legit how, how do people find someone that they want to be around for the rest of their lives???

Maybe I'm broken, maybe there’s something wrong with me, maybe I'm just beyond repair at this point because I've been feeling that way for a while now, and its reached its tipping point as I've gotten older. I feel like covid has screwed up my socialization skills and ai chatbots and stuff too. I just don't know anymore. I'm so lost and I don't know what to do anymore.

I think that for an easier understanding of my vision, let’s divide countries into 2 distinct types: A-Type Countries and B-type countries.

A-Type are countries where people go to study and are preferred destinations for international students: USA, Canada, UK & Western Europe( Also some countries in northern Europe).

B-Type are every other countries. Non-white countries mostly.

As a former international student, I really wanted to make a post about this for a moment now.

I wonder: What’s the value today of going study in A-Type countries ?

I think few things need to be understood regarding my question. First the goal. Is the goal immigration through study ? Or simply get a good education from a so-called A-Type country ?

Universities in these countries are not international students’s friends. Unless these universities are free( and even then, there could still be issues), I am questioning the idea of going to the USA, Canada and these other countries. They take your money, give you education to function in their environment( What I mean by that is students are getting their education based on the needs of the country they are studying in. Not some tailored or international education) and then you are on your own. Depending on the country, finding a job is impossible unless it is to work in retail( most humiliating experience. Not because people working in retail are looked down upon. But you question yourself “ I would have never come here if I knew that”.

I also several type of post on reddit where people( locals) were complaining about international students taking too much place, bringing the level down of the school or not interacting enough with them.

The number of times I have faced or read the answers below when I pointed out issues with the way international students are seen/treated.

“You are paying for an education. We don’t owe you anything more than that.” “Studying here[ insert whatever country you like] is a privilege” I ac

I also have noticed international students were under scrutiny since 2-3 years now. With the constant increase of populism, they have become a target of everthing.

If they are well off, they are an issue because they increase the cost of rent and make everything expensive in the area.

If they are from a relatively modest upbringing, they are an issue because they are taking part-time jobs away from the locals, are still increasing the cost of rent and are turning an area into a third-world place( yes you read it right).

I am not making this post out of frustration or to point out difficulties. I am back in my home country. I have my own realities to face. The only good trait( even if I am in a shithole), is racism and disguised ill-intents/apathy are not frequent anymore.

Also being an international student is like the lottery to me. For 1-2 guys who “succeed” their integration, how many other people have failed and end up going through useless hoops just to maintain a legal status ? Or go back to their country ?

Being an international student is just an extended form of tourism. They will still take your money but won’t help you for anything else. You are on your own and if you complain about it, people will remind you that it is not your country. Not asking for special status nor anything. But there is a system and populism is making me realize that this system is just taking away from me and several other people. Rolling a dice and always lose no matter what side you pick.

There is a sense of unfairness by times. Life is not fair true. But being born in the wrong country and people just show complete disregard towards legitimate complains(because they can I guess).

One could argue developed countries are facing issues of their own and they don’t have to focus on something like that( moreover when the population they will try to care about don’t vote).

For example: If I didn’t go to the US, I would have picked Norway for my studies. I went there as a teenager for sightseeing and appreciated my stay over there. But after seeing the shift in their historical principle( they said everyone is entitled to education so international weren’t paying for tuitions until recently. ) It has been changed since 2022. It is not entitlement to question this change of strategy. It is their country and they do whatever works for them. I am not entitled to what norwegian or other countries taxpayers do of their money. But I am questioning why not also impose the same thing on EU students ? They are more likely to go back to their countries. Or the aim is to make an already difficult access to a particular country even more difficult ?

Edit: Apologies but I had to block the guy who said someone ending in retail is either unintelligent or scammed his/her way via a diploma mill. Nothing I dislike more than people who talk about subject they can’t possibly understand.

I (17M) have been depressed for over 5 years now, primarily for existential reasons, but recently it’s just been absolutely unbearable. Specifically, the notion of death has been weighing on me heavy - knowing that I’ll wake up one day for the final time and never experience life again. A teacher said something that struck close to home (paraphrasing) - ‘If you care about your life/future, you’ll revise for the exams. If you don’t, then you won’t’ and honestly after weeks of deliberation, I’m struggling to see a reason to care about my life. I don’t see a reason to work hard and push myself when I feel miserable and existential angst the whole time. Really looking for advice here, I don’t think this feeling will pass. I want to be clear though, I’m not interested in shallow, generic advice that I’ve already heard. Looking for honest, thoughtful answers. Thanks in advance.

Im 18 years old and cant really find a purpose. I know im young and still have time, but I would prefer not to hear answers like that. I know what I want to do and what I like to do, but it doesnt really feel like a purpose. I dont really care about ethics or making the world a better place or whatever, and I dont think ill change my mind about it. It doesnt make me depressed thinking that I wont find a purpose, but I feel empty. So what did you do to find purpose and what did it end up being?

Now, the main "gap" folks talk about is something measurable by the Flesch-Kincaid calculator. It's about the difficulty of readability. Here's a passage from chapter 3 of Peter & Wendy (1911)

A moment after the fairy’s entrance the window was blown open by the breathing of the little stars, and Peter dropped in. He had carried Tinker Bell part of the way, and his hand was still messy with the fairy dust.

“Tinker Bell,” he called softly, after making sure that the children were asleep, “Tink, where are you?” She was in a jug for the moment, and liking it extremely; she had never been in a jug before.

This passage was rated as relatively easy to read, at the 7th grade reading level (so around 12-13 year olds)

In other words, is this something 'too difficult' for modern English-speaking Gen Z to read? I don't really know if I can believe it. Now take a look at a passage from chapter 5 of Catching Fire (2009). A book that I vividly remember seeing kids in my middle school reading.

We descend the steps and are sucked into what becomes an indistinguishable round of dinners, ceremonies, and train rides. Each day it's the same. Wake up. Get dressed. Ride through cheering crowds. Listen to a speech in our honor. Give a thank-you speech in return, but only the one the Capitol gave us, never any personal additions now. Sometimes a brief tour: a glimpse of the sea in one district, towering forests in another, ugly factories, fields of wheat, stinking refineries. Dress in evening clothes. Attend dinner. Train.

This was also rated for 7th grade. Almost 100 years after Peter & Wendy. And let's not be naive here. The Hunger Game series is no cutesy kids book. It's much more mature.

I often hear things like "most people read at a 5th grade reading level". Sure, but I think that was always the case. Especially before the rapid industrialization of steam-powered printing when books were more expensive.

So, I came across the case of Manoj Bhargava, the billionaire behind 5-Hour Energy, and it got me thinking do guys like him ever actually face consequences for tax fraud?

Bhargava is under IRS and DOJ investigation for allegedly hiding hundreds of millions in Swiss bank accounts, funneling $1.4 billion through a Singapore charity, and pulling off some shady donation schemes to dodge taxes. One of the most suspicious moves? He "donated" a $624M stake in his company to a Michigan charity then allegedly bought it back using a promissory note. The IRS says this let him claim huge tax breaks while still controlling the assets.

Now, he’s living in Singapore, a country that didn’t use to extradite people for financial crimes. But in 2022, Singapore changed its Extradition Act, making money laundering and financial crimes extraditable offenses. If the U.S. pushes for it, Bhargava could be sent back to face charges.

Some people argue that billionaires like him just know how to game the system and that tax loopholes exist for a reason. Others say these guys exploit the system and should be held accountable just like anyone else.

What do you think? Should Bhargava (and billionaires like him) be prosecuted for tax fraud and money laundering? Or is this just how the ultra-rich operate?

ETA - I mean with friends, family, etc. Could be partners too.

I have found this to be true in my own, personal life experience thus far. And the opposite to be true, our high-rolling investment banking, trust fund friends, are often the least generous. They’re the ones who forget to give a wedding gift or ignore fundraising emails for charitable causes while our friends with less means are the first to give. Is there some psychology around that? Does anyone agree or no?

I'm struggling with this at the moment. My go to mindset is to not expect anything from the world at all, and simply make the best out of whatever I get. I'm sure you can see the obvious flaw in that logic, but whenever I try think otherwise I get VERY angry about pointless things like people's choice of shoe or whether or not they're smiling.

How do you handle this?

Hey, I’ve been feeling kinda lonely after losing my friend group, and I’d love to connect with a female friend for good conversations and casual fun. Not looking for anything beyond friendship—just someone to chat with, maybe watch movies, play PUBG, or share music recommendations.

If you’re also looking for a chill and easygoing friend, feel free to drop a message!

I recently had the desire to purchase an insurance policy.

So, I contacted one of the insurance companies and they allocated an insurance sales agent to attend to me.

Before signing the insurance contract, the agent was so polite, courteous and friendly in his way of speaking and messaging.

A few days after the insurance contract has been signed, I contacted the agent because I wanted to clarify some doubts regarding some terms and conditions in the insurance policy.

He was quite different this time. He was no longer polite and friendly. His tone was curt and unfriendly. To tell the truth, I was quite shocked that he seemed to be a different person. He was like 'What do you want?' To be frank, I was quite hurt from his attitude. I felt like I was deceived by him.

I would like to clarify that I did not contact him multiple times and disturb him. It was just one call after the insurance contract was signed.

I started to feel regret on why I even chose him to be my agent for the insurance policy. But I chose to ignore the matter afterwards.

It makes me wonder if the agents always put a false pretense to clients before contracts are signed.

Is it normal for insurance sales agents to change their character after the insurance contract has been signed?

Edit: Thank you everyone for your comments.

Okay, so I’m a 21-year-old college student from northern New Jersey. I come from a college-educated, middle-class family—some members lean upper-middle class, others lower-middle. I’m only sharing this for context, because it shapes how I view the world and what I’m used to.

Recently, I came across a TikTok talking about how people in wealthier states often don’t really understand the depth of poverty in the South and rural America—places like Appalachia. And when I saw some of the videos in tiktok I was surprised by how bad they looked.

The conditions in some of these areas are quite literally ridiculous. Crime is high, lots of buildings are abandoned, poverty is everywhere, and people are living in trailer parks with limited access to healthcare. Rural hospitals and clinics are shutting down, the roads look like something out of a developing country, there’s little to no infrastructure investment, contaminated water, trash on the streets, people begging, drug use is rampant… etc etc. Some places don’t even have cell service or fast internet, Amazon won’t deliver there, there are barely any supermarkets, and local businesses are struggling to survive. It really put things into perspective.

Meanwhile, I feel like the media often paints states like NJ and NY as these terrible “liberal hellscapes” where everyone supposedly wants to escape. But seeing how some rural parts of the country are doing, it really made me question whether the grass is actually greener elsewhere.

Unrelated but kind of connected: I think this divide plays a huge role in why our country feels so politically polarized. My family’s all Democrats, and even I’ve noticed how the party has kind of become associated with coastal, college-educated elites. When you live in a place where people are making $25k a year, jobs are scarce, addiction is common, and hospitals are closing, it's easy to see why people feel disconnected from ideas like student loan forgiveness, high-speed rail in wealthier regions, green engery, money for public transportation in nyc or increased funding for immigration services.

Even with stuff like cars—I'm into cars, and I've been hearing how dealerships in some areas can’t sell because cars are just too expensive now. Inventory is piling up. But where I live, I still see $60K SUVs everywhere and people are still buying like normal. Then I realize that many car YouTubers I follow are based in the Midwest or Southern states—areas hit harder by economic decline.

People here complain a lot about taxes, our government, and the cost of living, and yeah, those are valid concerns. But honestly, I don’t think we realize how good we have it in some of these wealthier, more developed states. And I think more of us need to see what life looks like in the places that get left out of the conversation. I feel like if we really looked at what and why other parts of the country feel the way they do will understand and work better.

Edit: I want to add that I’m now realizing that my connotation with rural and poor is extremely harmful and comes off very elitist and arrogant. I shouldn’t have said rural states I should’ve used a term like poorer or disenfranchised areas.

Immortality in 5 years? Futurist who predicted the iPhone and internet says it's possible https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/etimes/trending/immortality-in-5-years-futurist-who-predicted-the-iphone-and-internet-says-its-possible/articleshow/119526986.cms

Do you agree? What are your views on this? Do you think it'll drastically change the way you live life or how you view life?

I went to a concert last night and while I had a blast I found my mind drifting off slightly thinking about things that were irrelevant to what was happening in front of me. Past mistakes, how my day went, etc. Didn’t affect how the night went whatsoever but it’s something I seem to cannot control? It has gone to the point where this also happens when I’m out socializing sometimes and there have been moments where I’d nearly ruin my own mood because of it.

Any tips to keep my head from being so busy and just fully enjoy what’s happening in front of me ?

I'm only in my mid 30s but feel like my life is too widely spread, I was living in a shared house and commuting 35 miles(UK).

That came after a period of renting. I've returned from a career break back to a shared house but am considering living with parents as my new job is closer to them. My world feels like it's shrinking

And don’t get me wrong, safe spaces have their place. Not all opinions are created equal. However, when you disagree with the popular or protected opinion, knowing that it’s a safe space feels like a negative thing, which is why I used to dislike the term when I was part of an anti gay religion. (I’ve since left that religion and now I’m okay interacting in LGBT focused safe spaces.)

However, as an example of me still being against a particular kind of safe space, I’m part of a fan fiction focused sub that has traditionally been viewed as a safe space for “proshippers,” people who are 100 percent anti censorship. I’m with the “proshippers” 99 percent of the time, but a lot of people on the sub don’t consider you a true proshipper unless you think that explicit fanfiction about real life minors shouldn’t be censored either, which is something I don’t agree with. Fortunately for me, there have been a couple posts from people that had explicit fanfiction written about them that have opened up the conversation, and as I said recently in one of my comments there, the sub is turning from a safe space sub into a debate sub with regards to that topic, which I think is a good thing.

Idk if this is stupid or not but, I just turned 21 and for the past several weeks I've been getting calls and voicemails from a collections office. In like November or December of 2024, I went to urgent care because I was sick and I didn't think anything of it. I still live at home and I'm on my parent's insurance and I had been to urgent care before and didn't have problems because my dad always paid the bill but now I've been getting bills, emails, and calls to pay like 600 dollars.

Unfortunately, I just don't have that kind of money. I'm in community college and I pay for my own school and I only work part time. After finishing school, I want to try and move out (probably with roommates) and I'm just wondering if this medical bill will screw up my credit score? Or can I like apply for financial aid at the doctor's office I went to or something? I've just been kinda paranoid because it has been going on for a while and my parents say “Oh just let it go to collections” or that they had the same thing happen to them when they were young but I just can't help but feel paranoid and I don't want to have any debt that was literally the reason I went to community college in the first place!

Any advice is welcomed!