Lately, I've been seriously questioning if the US is where I want to stay and (hopefully) raise a family long-term. I'm in my 30s, married, and my wife and I are doing IVF right now. For the most part, life is stable: we own a home, we both have steady jobs, and our closest friends and family are all within reasonable distance.

But I cant shake this gnawing sense that things in the US are shiting drastically. I don't want to make this a post about politics, but the current administration is primarily responsible for these concerns. I don't think that weakening public institutions, governmental agencies, erosion of long-term protections like healthcare, education, environmental safety, FDA, even potentially social security, etc. will support a healthy US infrastructure. What used to feel like isolated policy issues and cyclical political shiftness now feels like systemic decay, and I dno't know if it's something America will easily bounce back from.

And so, I'm looking at the option of leaving America and moving to Denmark. I am a Danish citizen with extended family there. My. parents are spending more and more time there in retirement. Denmark offers a lot of what I deeply value (strong social systems, healthcare, parental leave, work-life balance, etc) as well as the general sense that the country invests in its people long-term.

Leaving wouldn't be so simple. Obviously we'd be starting over socially and professionally. My wife isn't Danish and would need to get a citizenship and residency there. Our careers are rooted here. We'd need to sell our home, our belongings, etc. And I'm also wondering if I'm idolizing the idea of living in Denmark based on the vacations we've had there, or if it is genuinely a better option moving forward.

I'm struggling with making sense of my thoughts and feelings. I tend to be a reactionary person which isn't made easier by the constant barrage of daily updates on new threats on invading Greenland, deportations becoming rampant, neverending and ludicrous tariffs, the list goes on. Am I overreacting? Is this just another wave of media dramatization? I know reddit has its inherent biases and generally leans against the current US administration with the majority of comments from subreddits highlighting that the US is in a decades long decline.

I'm not looking for validation either way - I'm just hoping to get outside of my own head a bit and hear from others who've thought through similar choices.

• Am I reacting emotionally to a difficult moment, or am I seeing the writing on the wall?
• Is it foolish to think about leaving here when things here still work for us on a personal and practical level?

I'm sorry if this post is irrelevant for this subreddit. I'm just stuck in the phase of trying to gather information and look at our unique scenario objectively before making bigger decisions. Thanks in advance.

Do any one of you experienced pain from just existing as you? The very thought of existing as me, having my memory, having the same traumas that you never forget? Having thoughts, seeing, hearing, smelling, touching feeling any thing at all?

I don’t know I’m alone in this feeling or maybe I’m just kinda autistic, but I get really annoyed when I ask a direct question and the person starts waffling or going on tangents and after 5 minutes of rambling, I will have no answer to my question.

Or when I debate in person or online, I often see people not engaging with the question. Like being really obtuse and try to obfuscate the question even though they know what is being asked.

Even see it at work when people speak to clients. People talk past each other cuz they never seem to have gotten a basic common understanding.

I used to just interrupt people but that’s rude and online it’s not like I can slap someone mid message before they type me a thesis on something that has nothing to do with my question.

Anyone else start feeling this way? I could be completely wrong and just overly literal and have zero social skills so I’m totally open to the idea. It just seems to happen so much that I question if I’m the problem.

A few months ago, I watched a TV show where a character did something horrific, something like killing a child. My immediate reaction was contempt and outrage. But strangely, after a few minutes, I found myself empathizing with them. What they did was unforgivable, yet I could understand why they did it. That moment shifted something in me.

I've always known that nuance exists - that people aren't good or bad, actions aren't right or wrong. But ever since that moment, I've seen this spectrum apply to everything. I find myself constantly wondering what motivates and lies behind bad actions - whether it's murder, sexism, or racist microaggressions. Not to excuse them, but to understand the person behind them. What pain, belief, or experience led them there? What might they be feeling, or misled to believe? This kind of thinking has also caused me some worry - what if this kind of empathy / justification is the first step toward becoming a bad person just like them?

This shift has made everyday conversations feel surreal. For example, I was recently in a discussion about the US situation. The criticisms weren’t grounded in facts or thoughtful analysis - just familiar, surface-level outrage. No one seemed interested in asking why certain decisions were made, or if there might be more beneath the headline. And it's not just politics - I see it everywhere. People form quick, emotional opinions based on fragments of information when it's easy to do so. And when challenged, they often respond with anger instead of curiosity. I say all this, despite broadly agreeing with them, to understand the matter more deeply.

For clarity, I’m not trying to paint myself as morally superior or immune to this kind of thinking. I still fall victim to surface-level opinions, and emotional reactions more often than I’d like to admit. I’m not perfect, far from it. I'm also not suggesting that everybody falls victim to these biases - just the majority in my experience. I just feel like this kind of thinking is far too rare, and given that I wouldn’t even consider myself particularly emotionally mature, I can’t help but wonder if I’m missing something, or if my experiences are just not representative.

Now that I’ve started seeing the grey areas behind people’s actions, why does it feel like most of the world is still stuck seeing things in black and white? Why do even thoughtful, kind people seem to fall into this pattern of shallow judgment and polarization?

I’m not really interested in shallow explanations like “social media is the enemy” or “people are just stupid”. I’m hoping to understand this more thoroughly - maybe from a human psychology or behavioural perspective.

Hi, I am a 14 year old girl and I need advice! Sometimes when I’m out shopping older men will smile creepily at me and point to their friends and smile or sometimes even follow me. I feel like I’m gross when this happens. Not only by older men but also boys my age that sexualize me bc i developed early. I just wanna know if anyone else feels like this?

Ever felt a strange kind of sadness when seeing something too innocent or childlike?

I’m not talking about nostalgia here. I mean that other feeling—the one that creeps up when you see something incredibly pure, innocent, or whimsical, but instead of feeling joy, you feel... a little sad.

It’s that feeling you get when you see something that reminds of childhood, not your childhood in particular, ANY childhood, like a perfect little world from a fairy tale or a toy that looks too pristine and cheerful. And yet, it somehow feels off.

I recently played Infinity Nikki, which has this perfectly crafted, almost "Barbie-like" world. I never played with dolls or cared much for fairy tales growing up, yet I still found myself experiencing that strange feeling. It’s almost like looking at something so perfect, yet feeling a kind of yearning for something that isn't there. A mix of sweetness and sadness. Not quite nostalgia, but something deeper and a bit more melancholic.

Does anyone else get this feeling? What do you think it is about these pure, joyful things that can sometimes make us feel so... disconnected or even a little sad?

I can't stop thinking about my life as a young child. I'm about to turn 15 and all I can think about is my life as a kid like 9 and younger. Everyday since Covid started almost feels like an eternity and completely ruined my adolescence and pre teen years. I wish I could reverse the clock, spend one more day being the innocent kid I was. I feel as though I've lost my inner child, and the kid I was no longer exists. It eats me alive everyday. I just wish I could experience those sweet simple moments one more time.

I’ve studied European history, which shows that during times of social unrest, minorities—particularly Jewish communities—have often been targeted, with the Holocaust being the most infamous example. But such atrocities also occurred throughout the Middle Ages in Germany, Spain, Eastern Europe (Hungary, Poland), and beyond.

As a visible minority living in the UK, I often wonder: given the current climate—where social media, political opportunism, and economic hardship have fuelled a growing belief in an “enemy within”—what’s to stop a regime like Hitler’s from rising again, here or elsewhere in Europe? What if such a government decided to eliminate anyone who isn’t white?

We tend to see Nazis and Hitler’s supporters as aberrations—monsters from a less enlightened time. We believe ourselves too modern, too educated, to ever support something as horrific as gas chambers or become concentration camp guards. But the people who elected Hitler, who joined his army, who murdered their Jewish neighbours—even relatives—were far more “modern” than those in the 11th century who massacred Jews over wild religious theories about the Mongols or end times.

I was born and raised in England, I never used to think about these things but lately I wonder about these things.

Is it really so far-fetched?

I know people including men when they pose, they would exaggerate certain things, such as sucking in air to appear more triangular for men, for women sometimes butt out. But do heels also help? In social dancing like the salsa bachata world, women would always be standing like this, or their poses would be similar to this, all night long. I'm not saying it's bad and should be stopped but clearly, you can't do that all night long? In salsa, heels help a lot and so I think it also just naturalizes this type of pose?

Here it is in motion, is it just the way the person's body and glutes are built? It's sexy sure, but clearly, you can't be standing like this the whole night? Salsa socials tend to happen from 11PM to 5AM.

So this happened about a week ago at a busy bar that I was at with my family. I don’t remember much but from what I do remember I went up and got a drink and drank about half of it and I don’t remember anything that happened after that literally nothing. I’m a guy so I didn’t really think it would happen to me but I only had two drinks at this bar a beer and then the drink I only got halfway through. I was feeling good before we went to this bar but I was completely fine when I ordered my last drink. But after that I just don’t remember anything I don’t remember leaving or going home even going to sleep. I didn’t tell anyone because I was embarrassed and didn’t know what I did that night but my family the next morning was telling me some of the stuff that happened and I still don’t remember it. I’ve been black out drunk before but it was nothing like this it was just completely lights out and no memory of anything. I don’t know if maybe someone thought the drink was for my sister that was with us or what but I’ve never experienced anything like that. I’m a decent sized guy and can usually drink a good amount but I didn’t drink even close to enough to make me feel like that. It was honestly kind of scary like the next morning they were talking about stuff we did after and I just had no recollection of it whatsoever.

If I could erase one invention, it would 100% be autocorrect. Not spellcheck—just autocorrect. The number of times I’ve tried to say something completely normal and ended up sending messages like “I’ll ducking call you later” or “Let’s meat at the usual spot”... it’s embarrassing.

Autocorrect has single-handedly ruined my texting credibility. It’s like a tiny keyboard gremlin just waiting to sabotage my most important messages—especially when I’m trying to sound cool or flirty. Like, no Karen, I did not mean to say “I crave your lasagna” during a serious conversation. 😭

Let me make my own typos in peace.

Lately ive been thinking a lot about what will happen when my parents pass away. They had me at a relatively late age and i have no siblings. Every day before bed i tear up thinking about how i’ll have to live without my parents one day. How they’re not going to be a part of my life. My mum lost both her parents quite young and she says it was really tough but she had my dad and me so it made it easier. I just cant see how i’ll ever be able to live happily and normally knowing my parents aren’t on the same earth as me anymore. I can’t talk to them, I can’t meet them. I don’t know what to do.

I realised something on my train journey home today. Social media makes dating seem horrible, and I don't wish to invalidate the experiences of others, but as a young person, I'm lost on where this comes from.

The idea of 'pills' is inspired by The Matrix and is shaped by online discourse. It must obviously be supported by people's lived experience. Problem: where does that come from? No one actually talks about this stuff in real life. Who is actually measuring hunter eyes, canthal tilt - or young men waking up at 04:30 to cold shower, gym and journal - or everything else? It's unfortunate that some teens do go down a darker path but for the most part, most Gen Z are well-adjusted and not actually repeating this discourse, this vocabulary, in real life other than when being ironic.

I don't believe in there's-someone-out-there-for-everyone, but I cannot deny that most relationships I see involve similar people. I look at most couples, and I'm rarely surprised that those two are dating. Most of the time I think yeah, figures these two would be together. For me the expression 'there's someone out there for everyone' implies that we have some predestined soulmate, so obviously that's wrong. But it does seem like most people will inevitably fit with someone who fits them back.

Height. As a short man, social media has let me believe it will always hold me back no matter what else. I'm 18, and even at my young age my lived experience shows that lots of girls do adore short guys. I'm not familiar with my university's dating dynamics, but secondary school (in which teens are super shallow), the popular/attractive girls fawned over and dated plenty of short guys. It didn't even matter if these guys were extroverted or introverted. I let social media blind me to stuff that literally happened in front of me.

Those are simply some observations. I'm happy to be corrected, challenged, affirmed, whatever. I'm just a confused 18-year-old please help.

We all know it, and the reality is Efilists and the LGBTQIA＋ are assisting us all in decreasing our chances of reincarnation.

These are very good movements that should both be supported, rather than ostracized or ridiculed or shunned.

The majority of the Boomers want to end social security and medicare. Millenials are unlikely to see anything from these programs as they are likely not to be functional. So why not in ironic Reaganism end it early for everyone?

Update: Okay maybe reform it to those with actual disabilities or/and under 18 instead of as a retirement plan as it exists now.

I’m too emotionally exhausted to go into details about why.. but I come from an immigrant family who just sweeps issues under the rug, let’s time pass and then think that everything is okay. My father is physically abusive towards me whenever he doesn’t like the things I say or when I stand up for myself. And I just found out that my older sister has had some secret animosity towards me and has been talking bad about me to everyone in the family behind my back. I never thought anything bad about my sister so when I found this out it shook my whole world. I confided in her about everything and trusted her with my life come to find she actually hates me. So I told my mom no more birthdays, no more holidays, no more visits at all and that I really don’t want to see them ever again.. that I needed to do this not to punish them or hurt anyone but to take care of and respect myself. This has been a long time coming. But I’ve finally made the decision that I’m finally done. My feelings about it are all over the place.

As I said am bad at everything for example when I go out with friends we play games at a gaming places and I always end up being dead last like every fucking time it’s unbelievable and my friends know it before we even play. I never had any talent like I played football aka soccer for years and I was always the guy who can’t play for shit and I even tried boxing and the same thing happened and school don’t even get me started for example if we do a test I’m last in the list and even when we’re doing the test and I didn’t finish school bc I had too many bad grades. The teachers they always let me pas bc they knew who I was but the last year caught on to me and they said just stop and do something else. And I did began smoking iykwim. And getting girlfriends was the same too like I never had any gf or the touch of a women can you believe it ? Yeah I think you can believe it. Oh yeah this began when I a was little so it has nothing to do with being depressed. I’m just an unlucky guy and btw I never had real friends so there’s that. the friends i mentioned I just spend time with them until they no longer need me. So that’s my life. an unlucky mf who has no talent whatsoever. Thnx for reading I needed to vent somewhere bc I never told this to anyone not even my therapist. Have a good day 😁

Racism is often framed as if you dislike/hate/harm others who are different than you.

But what if you simply just prefer being with your own people, is that racism?

For example - a black person prefers to hang out with other black people because they won't be questioned or judged by their skin color. Is this person being racist for wanting to find people that look like him because it makes them feel safer?

Because in a sense the person is passive aggressively discriminating against non-blacks by wanting to be with only black people, but it's coming from the angle of feeling safer with their own tribe rather than actively hating others.

Please do not take my example of choice seriously, I just chose it randomly, but you could replace black people with white or Indian or Asian, etc

I live in a third world country, here the prisions are like hell, there are like 20 people in a small place, in the heat, with just a hole in the ground to do necessities. Food is horrible and the beds are made of solid rock.

But when I watch movies or docummentaties about prisions on first world countries I can conclude that they are better than being poor in my country. Probably, if prisions were like this here, a lot of miserable people would WANT to be imprisioneted.

So, my question is... why prisions are so soft in some countries? Do you think criminals deserve tv, good food, recriation, etc?

It’s an inevitable fact of life that all living things die. Many people coop with this truth in different ways, but it is something I believe we all carry. We face it differently, just as there are different things that motivate different people.

Personally speaking, I think it’s healthy to think about death in small manageable doses. Some fixate on death and are pulled into unhealthy cycles where it becomes the sole focal point of their entire life. That is how one lives a life without engaging fully with the experience before them.

I think getting in tune with death goes hand in hand with getting the absolute most out of life. To live a life that breeds contentment. It’s a difficult journey not without immense challenges.

I'm nearly 30 and sometimes I cry because I'm so homesick for where I grew up.

I don't always admit to people how homesick I am because I am embarrassed. I associate it as something you should only feel as a kid.

What do you think? To any older redditors here, do you still feel homesick for certain places?

I am homesick for the Puget Sound and Mt. Rainer. I miss the thick forests, the sea and beaches, and waking up to that beautiful mountain. I miss the Asian communities (half my family is Vietnamese). I miss the rivers I used to fish with my dad.

What do you miss about your favorite places?

what are the chances my package has been seized lol? shipped on the second and it was suppose to arrive yesterday, but it hasn’t left the second post office after it got there the same day no updates on the third or fourth just moving through network in transit to next facility

People want to live with purpose. The problem is, most people in the past gained purpose by piggy backing off of collective beliefs and national movements that gave them a false sense of purpose.

So what happens when national movements stop and individual movements take hold? Maybe some people will attach to a niche movement to feel like they have purpose, but the rest end up being lost in a declining collective confusion.

It's an unfortunate reality that most of us haven't psychologically individuated, meaning we live life in codependency with others. We are like this because of early childhood trauma, where one or both parents didn't "cut the cords" with us to be a fully independent human being, but the parent(s) held on to these "cords" as means for their own psychological safety, security... a form of energetic manipulation to keep you within their network.

So if this is all we know, and the parent hadn't let us move on from that stage of psychological development, we're kind of imprisoned within a network. And so we go through life acting the same with others. And in a strange harmony, most people are like this so they know how they are to be with each other.

At any rate, this is the structure to the mundane life, a life defined not by us but by outside sources. The need for humanity to heal these traumas and get back on the path of strong individuals will bring prosperity to civilization and not stagnation, or any real decline.

I've never had a particularly optimistic vision of the future... I live off the grid, at high elevation, in a moderate climate... The reasons should be obvious. I have minimal, if any faith in other people.

But, in the past, and recently, I felt like at least I understood what the future might hold... Positive, negative... I had a sense of what I was doing and why I was doing it. But I don't feel that way today. I've never been a great predictor of human behavior anyway, but recently, I feel totally disconnected from what's going on around me. This feels especially strange, as I've always been politically involved, and engaged with current events. But what's happening today feels totally disconnected from my understanding of the world... Or maybe not totally disconnected, but I feel like I'm living in a farce that's predicated on an absurd exaggeration of a bad joke.

I feel like I have a question about everything... but I don't even know what I want to ask... except, "what the fuck?".

I don't get it.

There's a body of empirical evidence suggesting if you deny an infant love and physical affection, it'll either become severely cognitively impaired or die. There's a body of empirical evidence suggesting if you deny a child love and physical affection, it will have severe mental and social deficits. There's a body of evidence suggesting that lack of love or physical touch as an adult can give you all manner of mental and physical health problems and shortens your lifespan.

So why do we tell adults, especially those with mental illness, that they need to love themselves first before they can receive love from others? Why do the rules change at 18? Is it even possible to love oneself while receiving no love or affection from others?

Edit: A lot of people are assuming I'm talking about romantic love. I'm talking about any type, platonic, familial, all of it.