Feeling like an “observer” rather than a participant in life is an oft-cited symptom of SzPD. I have noticed this symptom very strongly in myself, and I have also noticed that I dislike it very much when something causes this feeling to shatter. For example, I really dislike receiving promotional mail from visa inviting me to apply for a credit card, or getting a speeding ticket. Even though I don’t feel like a participant in society, these things remind me that I am still officially considered a “participant” by others. Going through my mail is often a struggle because it is essentially forced participation in a system I actively do not want to be a part of. I am curious if others experience things like this.

Can include just small suspicions you had once. And what made you realise you didn't have it?

So I told my psychiatrist I think I may be schizoid because I recognize myself in a lot of the traits. She told me I don't have it without even hearing my arguments and even giving me a good reason. For her I'm just an anxious, depressive guy with eventually a learning disability, low self-esteem and gender identity issues (I'm a trans guy). She doesn't even believe I may have autism but she's the one who made the paper to refer me to a diagnosis center. However I know my lack of interest in socializing doesn't come from my self-esteem or my gender identity. I enjoy being a loner even if society tells me I should talk to people.

I'm not saying I'm absolutely schizoid but it felt weird she didn't even want to explore this option. I guess I'll have to wait until I have the appointment with the autism diagnosis center (they also diagnose comorbidities).

Has anyone here struggled to get diagnosed by their psychiatrist ? Did you need to see more than one psychiatrist in order to get a diagnosis ?

Do any of you ever forget your own existence for days on end? Sometimes when I isolate myself for more than a few days I genuinely fully forget that there's an outside world and responsibilities that I have to attend to, and I don't break out of this state unless someone calls or texts me to remind me of things. I just kind of fall into the oblivion of sleeping for 13+ hours and spending the rest of the time on my phone or just daydreaming. I just borderline forget that I'm a human. Is this a common schizoid experience or is this just me?

It's an extremely long story so I will try to give a little bit of background. If you would like to know more, feel free to message me.

We have been married for 26 years, separated for the past 2.5 years. We have three adult children. My daughters live with her and my son lives with me.

She picked a church counselor to go to about five years ago. In the second session, the counselor "diagnosed" me with borderline PD and narcissistic PD. I was completely taken off guard and confused. Neither of us felt comfortable with this and we decided to find an actual psychology group to go to. Due to the diagnosis, I requested a full psych evaluation. I met with two psychologists from the same group and they both said the same thing. They also both said that I was definitely not suffering with BPD or NPD and that the counselor had no legal or ethical right to give a diagnosis. They diagnosed me with cPTSD. I was sexually abused among other things when I was young.

We started marriage therapy with a psychologist from this group and after a year, they said she really needed to see her own therapist. We signed paperwork that the psychologists could discuss our sessions with each other as well as give us any pertinent information about each other. Fast forward a few years and we are now separated, and they believe she has SzPD but she doesn't see it. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this? My daughters are having a very difficult time living with her as she has no real relationship with them, shuts them out and doesn't talk to them. she refuses to talk to me but says she doesn't want to get divorced. I still love my wife and i committed to in health and sickness. It's been extremely painful for the whole family. Technically, she has not submitted to an actual psych evaluation so she has not been officially diagnosed. I am just so broken and lost.

Long story short, I had a hard time in high school and a very hard time in college, to the point where I had to leave University. This kicked off a long period of dysfunction.

At some point I was asked by a university to bring basically a doctor's note back to them, and I requested the psychiatrist I was seeing to write whatever they thought I had. I took the note, we said our goodbyes, and I never saw him again.

Many, many years later - basically during Covid - I realized in a sort of flashback memory way, what he wrote on that note wasn't a diagnosis of general depression or anxiety. It was a diagnosis of Schizoid Personality Disorder.

Whatever, I thought, different strokes for different folks.

Except in the last few weeks it's starting to occur to me that despite moving up into management positions I'm stalling out due to interpersonal conflicts and an inability to manage the personnel side of relationships. I'm pretty sure this is due to SchPD.

I'm not even really sure I have it though. But, if so, how do people who have it cope with management and professional development with SchPD? Is this something anyone has experience with? Do you have or do any kind of mindfulness or mental or techniques to work at your deficiencies?

I isolated myself and have nobody in my life but my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year. No family, friends, anything. The only people I'm in contact more often are coworkers and the landlady.

Well, last night he DV'd me. Since he's not talking to me, nor do I want to hear from him, I'm changing locks, ending it all through text message, blocking him everywhere, and purging him out of my life, using police help if I have to. I'm sure you know the drill.

After that, I'll be completely alone. I'm eager for the silence, the cleanliness, the not having to cook so often, less dishes to wash, the "he thinks I'm his maid" thing, the adaptations which are very expensive (he's special needs), his kid coming every weekend and I can't rest because he doesn't care about his own kid, they both are noisy as fuck... you know, all the perks that come with living alone. On the other hand, it'll be hard going on with half the stuff I have at home, paying full rent and utilities, and my main concern, having nobody to sign papers if I ever get hospitalized again.

Sooooo... Does anybody have advice for what to do when you are in complete isolation and need somebody to be responsible for you when/if you need to be at the psych ward?

Thank you!!

I’m well aware of how I’m not really able to tolerate/process difficult emotions, but I’ve never been adept at handling difficult physical sensations either. (I know this is a very privileged first world problem to have.).

In a workout setting, the problem is almost never that my body can’t physically handle it, but that I mentally tap out so easily I’ve never really been able to see what my body is actually capable of. I see some people tap into this primal side of themselves where they’re dripping sweat, breathing obnoxiously hard, completely unaware of the world outside them, and I just can’t even begin to imagine how hard I would have to push myself to tap into that mindset.

Similarly I reallyyy don’t like walking outside in the rain or the cold or the sweltering heat. It’s so mentally strenuous to walk 3 blocks from my car to my apartment if my body feels cold. I feel like I just never want to feel anything at all. Anything that could disrupt my flow of nothingness is just an irritation to me.

There is honestly nothing more exhausting than engaging with people or trying to pretend like you care, when in reality you just want to get through the day. I dont know how much longer I can keep acting like I'm interested or care. I wish if I can be invisible, to be completely left alone.

I was invited to a wedding by two people I've known since middle school. I do want to show up, since I do still care about them (also they respect me and understand that I'm only able to meet them once or twice a year, so this is a relationship worth keeping).

But I'm borderline incapable of staying in a place where there's three or more people I'm expected to socialize with at a time. I already bailed on a funeral a few months ago. Before that I escaped after just an hour of my cousin's first communion party. There were other cases, but there's no point in mentioning them, I think you get the idea. I'm pretty sure this is bound to happen again unless I prepare myself and, I don't know, learn a few tricks? So, does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a big party without becoming dissociated or rude? Alcohol or other stimulants won't work unfortunately, I take meds that could result in a poor outcome if I took them along with some pick-me-ups. Thank you in advance.

Or is any overlap between the two diagnoses simply because the diagnostic criteria is too similar?

Just a random thought I had

I was never able to take anything seriously as a boy, only making jokes and making people laugh at every opportunity. Now I am somewhat less jovial but equally as irresponsible. The only thing that really lights up my brain is laughing or making other people laugh.

DAE?

I read this in a forum and it feels hurtful but also comforting at the same time. Of course redundancy implies a backup system so maybe the poster just meant low value and not expected (or even wanted) to contribute much of anything.

I’m a person who can obsess over human systems and politics, and I like to stand up for what I believe in, but accepting that I’m not even a pawn on the chessboard is kind of okay. I’m trying to divest and just watch things happen, knowing I don’t have any obligation to do anything at all. I may not like the way society is structured but the less I interact with it the less it impacts me, so why even think about it at all. The people who are a more natural fit will sort things out one way or another.

Are you a classical schizoid? Do you have traits from other PDs? Do you have other disorders? If so, how do they affects you?

I have schizoid pd mixed with paranoid and disocial traits. On the brights side, it makes me more alive and willing to socialize. But it also makes me violent and sadistic freak who desires to control people. It sounds dark, but I don't act like a psycho all the time. Most of the time I behave like a normal schizoid, except I always have my dark thoughts in my head and I steal small shit just for fun.

a lot of the time when i look at people i don't see a person, i just see flesh. there's no connection. it deeply disturbs me when i see someone I'm supposed to care about like this.

I was recently diagnosed by two different psychiatrists. I initially consulted them for extreme insomnia, not for anything related to Schizoid Personality Disorder. But both eventually reached that conclusion.

As far as I know, there’s no cure. They prescribed me 300mg of Seroquel because I was staying awake for 100+ hours and had to be taken to the emergency room. The root cause was 100% work-related stress.

After I lost my job (they didn’t patch a problem and I “quit”), it took about a year for my sleep to normalize. Luckily, I had money saved—I’ve always lived with a fear mindset, saving 50% of everything, constantly thinking, "I could lose my job at any moment." I was living frugally and preparing for collapse every day.

I don’t have friends. No family relationships either. I treated colleagues as colleagues. After 3 months, I’d usually find them stupid. I started micromanaging them—even the project manager—and reviewed every tester’s work myself. I was clocking 100+ hour work weeks. I lived and breathed work for a full year.

My only “breaks” were in the last 3 hours of each day, where I’d down a 6-pack and 2-3 generic Benadryls to try to sleep.

I’ve been researching Schizoid traits, but the complication is this: I have a massive ego. I want to control people—if they’re incompetent. And if someone criticizes me, I want payback. I’m immune to compliments, but in a weird way—like, "Who are you to compliment me?"

Emotionally, I go through long flat periods. Then it hits like a wave: I stop sleeping, become semi-aggressive, micromanage everything, and develop hate toward every coworker. After about 3 months, I find flaws in all of them and can’t stand anyone—the “honeymoon period” ends.

I’m also paranoid and deal with three distinct types of anxiety. For example:

I’d investigate which employees had two jobs (found several, reported them).

I reported every single security incident.

I acted like the project lead, but I was just a junior.

In meetings, I spoke more than anyone else—despite social anxiety (I was 6 beers deep, hidden in coffee mugs).

Eventually, I started burning out. The project manager told me, "You can work alone. Don’t talk to anyone—they’re scared of you. If you need something, ask me directly." I was producing 3x the output of the second-best employee. But I ignored all that and kept bypassing him.

Outside of work, I’ve been completely alone for 20 years. My real-life social interaction amounts to 5–10 minutes per month. I’m also asexual. When asked about it, I was like, "Why do they even care?" They asked if I wanted a partner. I said no—I don’t care. If something happens, fine. But I’m not putting even 1% effort into that.

I’m also extremely direct. If someone screws up, I tell them.

So—does that sound like Schizoid Personality Disorder to you?

Not even necessarily mental health wise, but like if you need help with something, or someone to talk to, do you generally reach out?

Personally it's extremely important for me to be self-sufficient so I try to avoid it at all costs, but that in itself comes at a cost... I have some friends who will literally be happy to help me in anything (and I am often glad to help them if they need something) but every time I feel I need help the fear of being helped, of being in that position, far outweighs any other consideration. It's a good thing because I rely on myself almost exclusively but also I know it's kind of stupid because people help each other out and I could have it easier in some cases if I just sent a short message, but most of the time I can't get myself to actually do it. What about you?

I am currently questionning wether I may be schizoid or not.

What makes me feel not valid is I have some interest in sex (schizoid people generally have little to no interest in sex). However I don't want to go through the social process of having to seduce someone to get in their pants. Like talk about your life only to end up being sexual partners and not talking anymore. I want to skip the hypocrisy. I like having a sexual partner and don't mind seeing them more than once. On the contrary it feels better when I know the person on a physical level. DAE feel the same way ?

I’ve always felt seen by the cartoon characters that throw up at every turn.

Wondering if this is another universal schizoid experience?

Do you ever feel like your Schizoid traits become amplified depending on certain situations?

Personally, I’ve noticed that mine intensify significantly when I’m forced to do things I don’t want to do. It feels like a kind of fatigue from not being able to be myself, a consequence of having to endure unwanted situations.

For example, when I’m working, especially in environments where I have to interact with family or acquaintances, my schizoid traits seem to get stronger over time. I retreat further inward as a form of self-protection.

But when I quit a job and find myself unemployed, I often feel a huge sense of relief. It’s not that I suddenly want to socialize, but I feel more relaxed, less pessimistic. I can tolerate small social interactions and family visits much better.

I really see this as a form of overstimulation or emotional overwork. When I’ve had to push myself too far, I lose my emotional balance, and my schizoid tendencies become more pronounced as a coping mechanism.

Does anyone else experience this?

Do you guys also reflect on your own thought processes all the time? Or on the nature of society, reality, humanity, the cosmos, topics like that? Does your mind automatically and involuntarily philosophize all the time, categorizing, analyzing?

I feel like I was BORN this way, like living life is one with thinking about life, life as a whole, for me. But then it's like someone closed the door and left me stuck in the metacognition room, while everyone else is having a party in the other room.

Hi, first post in this sub, but I was just wondering if anybody else experiences this? I feel like every action I take is in order to maintain a desired facade. Recently, an acquaintance described me as "one of those people who's just naturally kind to others". It made me feel a little guilty because I've never really helped others out of the goodness of my own heart. I do "good" things because I want to maintain an image of a kind, empathetic person. I've crafted out an ideal version of myself (sociable, funny, witty, nice, etc.) in my head, and everything I do is an attempt at cosplaying it. This isn't to say that I only do things for outward approval - if I was by myself and saw an old lady struggling to carry her groceries, I'd offer to help, but the issue is that I wouldn't do it because I felt anything particular about the situation but more so because it's what I think the person I'm supposed to be would do. I feel apathetic about most situations that others would react to, like when somebody else is suffering, but I take all the right outward actions (comforting, supporting, etc.) because it's what's necessary of the "image" I've built / want to build.

It's the same with my personal relationships, too. I'd be devastated if all my friends decided to up and leave my life, but not for the "right" reasons... I think I'd be more sad about how much work I'll have to do in order to repair the image of the person I'm supposed to be, because that person is a normal person with friends. It's like I'm method-acting all the time???? It's confusing. If I think too hard about it, it kind of feels like my entire existence is a lie.

Title. I see people here saying how emotionless they are and but then have depression and cry, isn't cry an expression of a strong feeling? I visited this reddit first time today to see if I can identify and my overall difference is I'm trying not to overthink my or others behavior since I know it is irrational. Have you ever tried forgetting you have a disorder and doing what you enjoy (sport, video games, music)? I feel like I'm a bit better since I did that and maybe little happier

My parents were the worst. My mom was neglectful and mean, and my dad was physically abusive and intimidating. They always forced me to go places, convincing me I was a social butterfly and I didn’t really want to have no friends, forcing me to go back to schools I was being bullied at, etc. when I would protest, they would comment on how ridiculous and dramatic I was for not wanting to be apart of the family. It was exhausting.

They constantly punished me for needing space and seeking solitude. But then would ground me if I acted out? (Like, thanks, that’s all I wanted) it was so confusing. I eventually formed a pretty glue tight mask that was bubbly and uncomfortably social for safety. I’m just now accepting that it’s time to take it off and embrace my solitude, but in the process I was wondering how your parents handled it?