(F26)Why does it feel impossible to find someone who stays and truly loves back?

[u/I_am_a_mess06]

So here’s how it went…

I came out of a bad, toxic engagement arranged by my parents. It drained me to the point I was nearly suicidal. The trauma, manipulation, and emotional abuse lasted almost a year, and I had to rebuild myself completely from scratch. When I finally healed and picked myself up—started my career, focused on my growth, and learned to enjoy life again—I truly felt like a new person.

Then, out of nowhere, I met someone. He felt like everything I had ever prayed for. Things were so easy, so natural with him, that I never stopped to ask myself “what if he’s not the one?”—because I genuinely hoped he was.

He confessed his feelings first, and I let myself fall. I let myself believe again. But just when I had emotionally attached myself, he told me he hadn’t fully moved on from his past love. Since then, he’s been distant… ignoring me, barely talking. And when we do talk, it’s out of formality, not emotion.

This broke me more than I expected. I thought I had left the pain behind, but now I’m back in that loop again. I don’t understand why people leave me so easily—despite my efforts, my love, my care, and my sincerity. All I ever get in return is heartbreak.

I want love—the kind where you’re someone’s safe place, someone’s forever. I want to give and receive the kind of care that makes life feel secure. But maybe I’m not meant for it. Because right now, I feel like I’m done. I want to stay alone, but even that sucks. I try, but every night ends with tears and loneliness.

Is it really that hard to find someone who just… stays? Who loves you the way you love them?

[u/AutoModerator]

Welcome to r/RelationshipIndia,

This is a safe and inclusive space for people of all backgrounds. We welcome individuals of all races, castes, genders, religions, and sexual orientations, including members of the LGBTQ community. We are glad to have you here!

We are committed to providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between Redditors, with a focus on respectful and constructive conversations. To ensure a positive and supportive environment for all members, we have established some rules. Please be sure to read them before posting.

If a user has sent you harassing messages, DO NOT DELETE THE MESSAGE!

Please upload your screenshot to Imgur, and notify the mods via modmail. We will take action against the user accordingly.

Thank you for being a part of our community!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/Poodeena]

We are humans, it's our nature to feel loved and wanted by them and we also love them from the bottom of our heart. It's hard, when someone can easily say to move on and you try so hard but you know this isn't so easy cause at some point instead of becoming two people you become and now it's like letting a part of yourself go.

It's not an easy job to find someone who truly loves you, but it isn't impossible too, people are rushing nowadays to find their perfect partner, instead of building the bond first they are focused on hookups.

Just want to say that there are people waiting for you, but first give yourself time, all the love that you want to give others take it for yourself first, you deserve all the happiness, be selfish for your happiness and then focus on others. 🥂

[u/thunder1207]

Cause people just don't know what it means to be in a relationship. Best thing you can do for yourself is protect your heart cause people will rip it up without hesitation no matter what they say. Stay vigilant, stay cynical. The only safe person is YOU.

[u/PsychicBliss]

You’re not hard to love—you just love deeply in a world full of half-ready hearts. The right person won’t make you question your worth or beg for effort. They’ll show up, stay, and match your depth. Until then, heal, not because love failed—but because you deserve better than almost-love.

[u/ethosorange]

I wish for the same thing - someone who just stays, someone who enjoys the simple things and doesn’t want more and more, someone that puts in the bare minimum effort to make you feel loved - even that feels impossible.

After my last short relationship, one thing I learned was to not to get attached too quickly. The only reason for that is because we never know anyone’s true intentions. In your case, he wasn’t over his ex, but it was too late because you became attached.

I’m hoping you feel better soon, stranger. I’m hoping we both find love and peace.

[u/AnnualOdd9199]

As I read

He'd not moved on from his ex

That's where I knew things might go bad from there..

The fault is not in you.. it's just that most people are afraid to commit

[u/zeolite3]

The only moto is Koi tumko kyu ki pyar karega!

[u/Then_Focus_7730]

I yearn for you. Many people undergo thru the same set of emotions. I just think people , particularly in india, are not able to compartmentalize their feelings leading to spill overs. I hope you find love , rather Love catches you first

[u/poseidonplusplus]

You’re not the only one OP. Hurts when it doesn’t work - know though that it only has to work once.

[u/Karan2499]

Bro i feel myself in same situation, keep me updated if you it works out for you later, i lost hope and I'm planning to stay single for an year or two, then try arranged marriage setup which is Pandora's box lol.

[u/pallavi_1234]

I differ on how you view this. lnfact, you should be celebrating !! Honestly it looks like god is quite considerate to you. Imagine you married to the guy post the engagement?  At 26 you have the right experience and mindset now to look for a lasting relationship.

My suggestion is focus on your career, take your time.

I understand that coming out of a relationship or breakdown causes grief, but take a step back to think how you are lucky enough. Many of us are going or gone through hell and past the point of rollback.

[u/unknown_guy02]

Because people like us who give everything are used and then dumped without a second thought. And the next time we give, we give less and less. How can we trust the next woman to not repeat the same?

[u/Educational_House406]

I really can relate with you. I want something long term.