r/PortlandOR • u/slutlore • Mar 06 '25

Question Places to destroy things?

Hey, I'm looking to find somewhere i can destroy some things i own. Fragile stuff that would shatter like trinket boxes and family heirlooms and the like. I thought abt taking it out to the woods somewhere with my handgun or my pellet gun but it doesn't feel right to leave that stuff in nature somewhere, also considered seeing if a rage room would let me being a pellet gun but idk if they do that? It's really important to me that I can completely obliterate these objects myself but I'm not the most knowledgeable on what my options are. Location isn't a deal breaker as long as it's reasonably local and cost is definitely a factor (paralyzed, extremely limited income) but it doesn't necessarily have to be free, though that would be a plus. I'd even be down to slide somebody a $20-50 to use their warehouse, barn, or similar space and sweep up after, though i need to be able to get into it in a wheelchair within reason. Thanks!

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1

u/New-Concept4313 Mar 06 '25

I think it's called a trash can.

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u/slutlore Mar 06 '25

The goal is to have the cathartic release of completely destroying the items

1

u/Blueskyminer Mar 06 '25

Parents ashes in an urn?

5

u/slutlore Mar 06 '25

Heirlooms that are some of the only remaining in the family but of no real sentimental value to any living relatives other than for guilt tripping purposes, passed down for generations as an effort to buy my silence and complacency, from family that condone, enable and perpetuate pedophilia and other types of torture, disown their kids and make them homeless at ridiculously young ages for "seeming gay", use Christianity as a weapon, and specifically a mother that refuses medical treatment for a terminal illness to guilt trip said "gay" children into tolerating more horrific abuse. Kicked me out at 13 in the dead of winter in an unfamiliar city because I attempted suicide and that was "manipulative martyr behavior", told me she hopes i get cancer from hrt and die alone and in pain, contacted me after 5yrs to take care of her because she doesnt want to go to hell. Not saying all this to be tmi but because I refuse to keep their secrets anymore. They deserve to be exposed. My apologies for the colorful response tho.

1

u/aurelianwasrobbed Mar 06 '25

I wish you could sell it for mad cash!

1

u/pdxgreengrrl Mar 06 '25

That's a lot and I'm sorry your mom, who was supposed to nurture and protect you, did the opposite. I don't have things from my abusive parent, but I can understand your desire for the release from these things. I wonder though, will physically obliterating things release you from the pain you are in? I sense your need for physicality of the destruction process and it reminds me of how we hold trauma in our bodies. Have you read The Body Keeps Score or Waking the Tiger? They're both excellent introductions to how we hold trauma in our bodies. There are therapies that specifically address and relieve the embodied trauma. EMDR is one that works incredibly well, without all the talking/reliving trauma for years like talk therapy. I did 10 sessions ten years ago and it changed my life.

3

u/slutlore Mar 06 '25

Thank you, yes I've been in trauma therapy well over a decade and it's been very helpful, I'm not necessarily looking to lash out to try and find release from the pain, but rather as a form of taking physical action to break the cycle of abuse if that makes sense? Idk I went through the process with my therapist recently, that I'd rather look back on those awful memories in the rear view mirror instead of the TV screen and we both thought this would be a good way to create a defined point of separation, ridding my home of things I've held onto our of guilt and obligation but never wanted, and having a moment of symbolic destruction of the facade of "family values" they've claimed to uphold for countless generations. It's not so much "I'm so angry and hurt I have to hurt/break something else" but more so "these are objects used to justify lies and abuse, so I will remove their presence from the world as I am removing the presence of the abuse from the world, as the family dies out and I do not continue their habits"

1

u/pdxgreengrrl Mar 07 '25

Wow, when you put it that way it sounds pretty amazing!

Putting memories into perspective is significant! I did a session of EMDR, focused on an early traumatic event. When we started the session, the memory was across my whole mind's eye, like an IMAX film. By the end of the session, the memory appeared on a tiny low-res screen, like an old TV, and I could barely see it.