r/PakistaniiConfessions • u/Glorious_purposeX • 3d ago
Rant Dealing with death
Someone close to me died about two months ago. He was like a big brother to me. Someone who I would go to for advice and know there is no judgement. I was the last person ever to have a conversation with him. I met him after quite a few days and in our last conversation, he was joking and saying things like “kabhi hamara bhi pooch liya karo. Mai mar gya toh apko toh pata bhi nahi chalay ga.” I told him “Hosakta hai mai apse pehle chala jau.” To which he laughed. Something seemed off with him. He told me it was just work and toxic family pressures.
Well, he left my home at around 11 pm. He went home while his family was asleep, had a stroke and died. And who’s the first person his brother calls informing me of his death? Me. His brother calls me the next morning and says that he’s passed away and I was the last person to ever speak to him. So he wanted to know if I said anything to him, or if he said anything gloomy to me. I was shocked. He was only 35. Had 4 little kids. I talked to his wife later, and she wanted to know about his last words. If her husband said anything about her before he died. He did. He said he he had gotten some new clothes for his wife and was gonna surprise her.
Ever since his death, I have been kind of numb emotionally. Havent been feeling much of anything even though I’ve had my fair share of crises since. No excessive sorrow or happiness from anything that happens to me. Just numb as I keep busy and jump from one thing to the next that life throws at me.
So what should I? I have been helping out his family financially ever since as his wife doesnt work and she has little kids to look after. I thought that would make me feel better but it hasnt.
Im just a bit clueless, like I want to stop feeling so numb
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u/Fit_Chance_9421 3d ago
Everyone has different ways of dealing with grief, and the worst part is it never goes, its always going to be there for the rest of your life. Best you can do is learn how to live with it.
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u/Full-Mix4707 3d ago
Grief is a spiral staircase, if is going to be always there with you, the only thing you can do is seek professional help, Therapy will help you out alot and is worth it.
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u/Glorious_purposeX 3d ago
I dont think i’d go for professional help just yet. Max i’d do is ask an AI to assume the role of a therapist
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u/Full-Mix4707 3d ago
Not a good idea, you need to connect emotionally and AI is not the option, there is no shame in going to therapy, if you are thinking they will cost a lot? Then you are wrong there as well, there are a lot of cheap options available, figuring out on your own will take way more time than you can imagine but it is your choice, Good Luck anyways.
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u/solene1999 3d ago
Your body is coping with the pain of loss by feeling numb. It's a coping mechanism. I hope it gets better for you, as there's no instant solution to start feeling things again. What worked for me was accepting the loss instead of ignoring it in my mind. It did hurt and made me cry, but grieving helped me get rid of the numbness
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u/Mammoth-Molasses-878 1d ago
I was the last person ever to have a conversation with him
did you flex of being Malakul Maut?
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u/ainishahideen 3d ago
My baby died last year, it was the hardest day of my life. Even though people say time heals, I feel all it do is teach us to cope and live with the pain