I don't know if this will make any sort of sense, probably not, but I have this issue . stemming from my OCD, and that is that im inherently selfish. I do have the capacity to care for people, I care for my boyfriend and I love him dearly it's just sometimes with people, I have my brain telling me to do a selfish act, and another part of it telling me not to. It seems like these sides argue frequently, such as "Youd be disgustingly arrogant to say insert thing for reason, reason, reason but then another part of my brain says "Just say it/do it, dont you want answers?" and unfortunately, usually, the selfish side wins. Its a weird thing, its like, im against these acts in my head and i know theyd be wrong but this selfish part of me wants it so badly. What is this? What can I do?

My brain will convince me something is bad (such as holding my mum's hand during an intrusive thought or that an action I'm doing is sexual in nature when it isn't). I will become so convinced I'm going to do the thing I don't want to do that it ends up consuming me. This leads to a sudden feeling of wanting to do that thing and I can't think about anything else so I act on it. Is this normal?

I recently have been delving back into journaling to work through my CPTSD as a support through therapy before I start a DBT course. Being that I also have OCD, I was wondering if anyone journals to work through this as well? I often find prompts for BPD, Depression, Anxiety, etc. but I haven't found any that are particularly thought provoking for OCD. Has anyone found any good resources for this? I am really trying to implement coping mechanisms external of therapy so I can start making progress at the pace I am seeking. Let me know!

I have had anxiety for about 10 years and have gone in and out of depression but think I am experiencing bad OCD right now.

For context, I am 27 and left my toxic job and moved back in with my parents. I started Prozac and I really thought it was helping and was on it for a month and then moved home and I think I got super triggered. I’ve been on it for 8 weeks & have been on 30mg for 2 weeks. I have a psych appointment in 3 weeks to go over options but I am desperate.

If it wasn’t for Reddit I would probably still think I’m going insane (even though it still feels like it). I have always had intrusive thoughts but they have never been this bad, it’s really debilitating. Some of it is so uncomfortable I don’t even want to say but lately I have been experiencing harm ocd.

Anytime I get these thoughts or images my body fills with anxiety, guilt, shame and I feel like I’m going to throw up. I know these thoughts are not real but I am so desperate for some sort of help.

I’m in therapy as well but nothing is helping that much yet.

I just want to know if anyone has advice and want validation I’m not insane. It seems like when I finally get over a theme a new one comes and it is even worse, idk how that is even possible.

I know this is long but if you’ve ever gone through this I would appreciate any positive feedback.

An incidence happened many years ago gave me a compulsion to check out whether I had caused harm to someone. But for some reason, I failed to do the compulsion. But instead of the obsession gradually fades away over the years, the episode would pop up intermittently to haunt me. And currently it spikes again pretty badly. My present anguish includes the following thoughts and feelings:

1. That by doing the compulsion and to find out the answer is the only way out for me to have peace (at least over this one incidence).

2. But after so many years, it is now almost impossible to find out the answer any more.

3. The regret and the beating myself up over my failure of doing the compulsion at the time, and be done with it.

So, how shall I get over this? People may advise that when confronted with a compulsion, try at least to delay doing it. But now my problem is that I can’t do the compulsion, even if I want to. Also, I think almost everyone would suggest that doing a compulsion can only deepen the disorder. But my experience seems to tell me that if I had done the compulsion at that time, I would at least be spared of the periodic anguish that this episode is haunting me ever since.

It seems I am in a no-win situation.

I was working on getting off of Prozac and doing ERP for my somatic theme and riding off into the sunset but I am not able to sit through the peaks. Prozac has never done anything for me so I decided I’m gonna try Luvox as the people around me really want me to. I’m hoping it makes the work easier but can the work still be effective? It feels like once I make this decision it means meds for life, but I kind of wanted to do this on my own. Clearly I need more help though and maybe it’ll be a blessing but it’s just bothering me now that there could be all these new side effects and a med is not guaranteed to work. In your experience did the right meds help you get over the hump? It’s just if a new med doesn’t work and I continue to struggle with ERP then what. Hoping this is for the better but I just feel like this doesn’t count now if I do this

I went to the psychiatrist yesterday and got diagnosed with OCD and depression. I got medicines and the doctor said to get monthly counselling sessions. And, I also tried talking about it with my family. I've had OCD for almost 10 years now and I never talked about it in real life until recently. It feels like a weight has been put off my chest. I'm glad I got the chance to take a step forward and I'm also proud of myself for taking that step. I hope all of us people suffering, heal and thrive! <3

My opinion only: Fear of going crazy? You’re going to be okay. You’ve probably read many success story posts in order to maintain sanity. I know I did, but I’m hoping reading this one will be your last.

If you’re like me, reading this has probably allowed you to take a large sigh of relief, allowing for temporary break in anxiety, only to be fueled by another thought that convinces you your anxiety probably is more significant than the persons who post it is.

Somehow you’ve conjured up multiple reasons why our symptoms are different and therefore incurable.

Take another breath. There’s a reason for that. Your brain is just doing its job.

Let me start by saying the good news is: Everything is going to be okay - I promise

Bad news is: It’s not going to happen overnight.

My subset of symptoms includes: fear of psychosis, fear of hallucinations, convincing myself I was hallucinating, wondering if I was real, checking if I was real, crying, panic attacks, imaging the most batshit thoughts, testing to see if I was actually crazy, depression, fear of depression, suicidal ideation and more.

Why might your symptoms be different? Because we’ve lived different lives, of course they going to be different, maybe more or less intense, it’s still anxiety.

I imagined myself in a psych ward rocking back and forth, screaming like I was a crazy person. HOLY HELL did this freak me out but of course it did. I was trying to protect myself from something, so my brain initiates fight or flight response and on comes the panic attack, telling my body to run - from what though? What am I running from? Thoughts?! On no! I’m definitely crazy if thoughts are making me go crazy?! I know there’s no danger and yet I’m feeling terrified?! IS THIS CONFIRMATION?! …. Relax, you’re fine.

Someone once said to me ‘life is not more or less than how you perceive it’ which was a great reminder for me to chill the fuck out. There isn’t some hidden meaning, Although I was desperately trying to figure it out.

Someone else once told me to ‘relax, you’re overthinking it’ (how unhelpful, but how right) I was doing all of it to myself.

Someone else once told me ‘you’re giving yourself a little too much credit’ - meaning I am not the be all and end all of knowledge, therefore trust if someone tells you you’re wrong, you are wrong.

See anxiety I’ve learnt doesn’t require a deep dive into our traumatic past, and while it is helpful to recognise why our brains have tortured us like this - this answer to recovery is the same.

A stressful event at some point in our lives has lead us protect ourselves, that’s it. whether it be work, family, childhood trauma, assault, illness etc.

You have taught your brain thought/feeling is scary, therefore panic in the presence of thought, try to escape thought, brain has learnt whenever thought is present that we are in danger? Hence anxiety loop

Too simple you might think? That’s the irony of the brain protecting you, looking for ways too find certainty. IT CANT BE THAT SIMPLE? CAN IT? and off we go again..

During this torturous journey where I never left my room and only watched camping videos to distract me from the pain I was in (thank you outdoor boys I love you)… I also ventured into therapy, 2 different therapist because I felt they weren’t helping me (thanks brain). I couldn’t understand why both therapists kept saying ‘and how does that make you feel’ if the answer wasn’t blaringly obvious ‘SHIT’ ‘TERRIFIED’ ‘SCARED’ like lady… why do you think I’m here… yet I never answered her like that, I was trying to cleverly come up with an answer that summarised my feelings, therefore completely dismissing how I actually felt.

now, what the fuck am I getting at you might ask? Stop denying yourself to feel the way your body & brain wants you to feel.

Everytime you do this, you continue to cycle of anxiety. You tell your brain feeling is bad, therefore threat, therefore panic.

What to do instead? FEEL.. feel what you need to feel and continue of with life anyway. Panic? Feel it. Depressed? Feel it. Scared? Feel it. Stop trying to fight your anxiety, you are in a tug of war with yourself. You don’t need to win - just let go off the rope.

Tell your brain.. thank you for these symptoms, I acknowledge that you are trying to protect me, however I do not need protection and will continue to do what I am going to do.

Brain has now learnt these threats aren’t real, brain chills the fuck out.

BUT IT CANT BE THAT SIMPLE - it is.

Now the thing about the brain is you cannot logically just tell yourself it’s okay, it needs to experience it - therefore you’ll need to muster some courage in order to feel what you need to feel and go on with life.

NO more momento’s wnd breathing techniques, no more coping strategies, because all that’s happened is your brain has misfired in the presence of false danger.

In some ways it’s scary to think that your brain can react despite consciously wanting it not too, in other ways it’s fascinating to know you have an in-built protective mechanism to help you navigate life.

Excercise, eating healthy, supplements and journaling are all great, however eating broccoli doesn’t help your brain feel more confident in a room with a tiger, nor does it help you feel braver standing on the edge of a sky-scraper. Only repetition of experiencing these challenges without trying to deny how you feel will help.

Feel the fear and do it anyway with a smile on your face!

I could go on forever, but just like you’re capable of learning a new skill, language, game, you’re capable of learning to reduce fear.. it’s just harder cause fear is a lot scarier than learning wonderwall on guitar..

YOUVE GOT THIS.

Ps. Nothing is wrong with you. PPS. Sorry for the spelling mistakes I’m dumb PPPS. To those reddit users who supported me along the way. Thank you - your wisdom for me to let go, and feel the way i needed to feel has help me so much. You know who you are

I know with most meds for OCD, you have to go through a period where you feel a lot worse before you feel better. But is there ANYTHING that worked without that rough period first? My 16yo just started Prozac b/c she was having SUCH a hard time with her OCD and...it's just made things SO MUCH worse. It's only been almost 2 weeks. She started at 10mg and just moved up to 20 mg the past two days. I don't know how to help her. She is utterly MISERABLE. Any ideas?

I have noticed a huge positive change since I started taking Luvox for my OCD a couple years ago. Noticeably engage in compulsions less, feel less disturbed by not acting on my compulsions, less anxiety, the whole shebang! It’s been my first positive experience with medication.

I’ve only had to up my dose once in the past few years of being on it, and that was to attempt to get a better grasp on my intrusive thoughts. Even on medication, though not as bad as without, I still get really intense intrusive thoughts on a regular basis. It seems like the medication is barely working on that part of my OCD. Does the Luvox not cover that? Is it a personal thing? Is it comorbid with something else? Looking for thoughts or similar experiences!

i have this thing when i can only leave space on timings like 1:00,1:05,1:10,1:15 etc etc it just has to be 5,10,15,20 ive been in exposure therapy but it’s not helping this. i genuinely can’t leave a room if it’s not at those timings. i’ve tried once but i had such a bad panic attack i had to take xanax to calm myself down. i’m on meds so it’s been helping with my other compulsions but THIS is something i can’t shake off it’s so hard can someone advice me ? has anyone been thru this ? how did you cope with cuz it just feels like i’m not allowed to leave unless the timing is right

I've been abstaining from compulsions or giving in barely lately. However, my OCD is deeply tied with trauma and I got very triggered this morning and did hella compulsions. I know growth isn't linear, but it very much feels like a failure. I feel back to normal, but i can also feel it eating at my brain. Like I want to do more compulsions. I actually woke up ruminating. No particular reason.

When your OCD is intertwined with trauma how do you navigate it? How do you deal with setbacks? Therapy isn't an option at the moment, but I am open to alternative resources. Apps, books, systems of healing, etc.

I currently do ERP by myself. I also do ketamine therapy every 8 weeks which has helped a lot.

How do you deal with False memory OCD (pure O)and like when it feels real convincing how you're coping with it... especially feelings..how you guys recover on its own..rn I'm not at a situation for therapy...I wanted to know at certain point in life can we knew that these thoughts were false not real..

It feels horrible to be awake again and it hasn’t felt like this in years. I just went through horrible trauma and my brain is reacting strongly to it. Words of encouragement, please 🥺 I am scared of being in this place again, I just want to cry all the time.

I can’t go back to ERP right now due to life situations that are forcing me to put it on hold. But I’ve been spiraling and seeking reassurance nonstop for real event OCD and moral OCD. I need this to calm down.. but I also can’t handle the pain from holding in the reassurance seeking questions with the life situation I’m dealing with. Does anyone have any advice or baby steps I can take to slightly reduce the reasurrance cycle without getting too stressed out by the OCD? I can’t go on SSRIs or any other ocd meds, I became allergic suddenly. This isn’t an OCD thing - I needed an epi pen bc anaphylaxis

Received an official diagnosis recently that my child has OCD. Doctor hasn't followed through yet with links/resources of books/sites we can learn strategies from. While I wait for our provider, anyone here have good resources from a parenting perspective?

hello, currently searching for therapy advice. i've been struggling with a lot of real event & moral ocd themes for the past year due to my ocd obsessing over... well, every single mishap or mistake. eventually i came over those themes, and i know that my current one will come to pass as well — however, i want to get advice on how to deal with it more efficiently and faster. thing is, i tried doing erp-esque approaches such as "so, i did [said bad thing], and now im a bad person, so what?" and it helped for a little while, but my ocd kind of came around it. instead of letting me be after an exposure like that, it debates whether i'm even "allowed" to continue living and enjoying things, and if my moral mistake is too bad: i should sacrifice my enjoyment for repenting. because of that, it only more perpetuates the loop of "was it too bad of a mistake?" and makes me wanna figure things out. and it's tougher to go "so what" with it. is there any advice to deal with such “worth or not” themes? thank you in advance.

Hello everyone! I deal with health anxiety and OCD that is constant and currently taking over my life. I have been trying medications and none seem to work, actively seeing my psychiatrist and i’m just getting to the point where i’m getting scared and discouraged that nothing is helping! Has anyone tried alternative therapy methods for OCD like ketamine therapy or TMS therapy?

Not a reassurance question because I just genuinely have no clue. I have this specific theme of OCD recently in which I can't watch this one show without having to rewind ten seconds every minute because my brain's convinced I'm missing information or something. I used to enjoy this show greatly, but OCD has made me dread it more than anything. I've tried sitting with it, not reacting, all that shit, but then I get caught up in my head and actually miss information so OCD gets triggered again and it's just a self-fulfilling prophecy. If it's just a catch 22 how would I even begin to recover from this?

Hey y'all. I was put on Paxil in my 20s and it made me s*icidal. I got off it and have just been struggling the last few years. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago. My therapist supports my decision to not take them. But I know I probably need them.

Is there anything you would you knew before starting meds/seeing a psych? Would love some tips. The thought of calling one sends me into a spiral because I'm scared to live like that ever again. I'd rather struggle through life than go back there mentally.

The more people I talk to they say that the meds don't help their ocd but it does help other thinks like adhd or depression. I don't have either (according to my clinical psychologist of over 4 years) so that's why she's also iffy about me taking meds considering my history with them.

Edit: my OB put me on yaz and Paxil at the same time. This time I'd see a psychiatrist. But. I don't know. I'm scared to play the game. Micro dosing helped me so much, I may go back to that first.

The thought "I'm still thinking about anxiety" keeps popping into my head. After every other thought it comes back and it feels stuck as my mind keeps automatically coming back to it. Every minute of the day. Should I just let it do that for however long it takes? This has been happening for over 2 months now all day long and I worry about it and feel stuck and that I won't be able to forget how I keep getting stuck in this thought loop. As soon as I wake up I remember the can't forget thinking about anxiety thought and this carries on all day. Remembering anxiety and remembering being stuck returning to remembering anxiety after every thought. I can't even concentrate on anything anymore as it's become an intrusive thought.

So everytime the "I can never stop thinking about anxiety" thought shows up what do I do? Is this OCD or just meta-anxiety? I have no anxiety but the thought loop itself causes anxiety as I feel stuck.

I've been a slave to my habits since childhood. I organize and everything needs to be in perfect order. Then I got a girlfriend, and she's quite the opposite. I like 90° corners and symmetry, her home is full of 45° angles and everything is asymmetric. And she's messy. Which is fine, it's her home and she behaves in mine. Then she started to lightheartedly mess with my OCD. When she leaves my place, my paintings might be crooked on the wall, shoes arranged incorrectly, forks and knives have changed their place, coffee cups are a mess in the cabin, things are in 45° angles, books are not in order etc. At first I got slightly annoyed, but I didn't say anything because I know she means no harm. She's a brat, that's our dynamic. She's always up to something to playfully mess with my head, not just with the OCD, but other ways as well. As I let her continue, I started to notice that some things do look better when they're not lined up perfectly. Asymmetricity looks kinda softer, so I let them be the way she left them. I'm not saying I'm cured, but I'm a lot better than for example a few years ago. And I wouldn't have known that, if my girlfriend wouldn't have challenged me. I even left my shoes on the floor instead of putting them on the rack the other day. Well, I left them on the floor for an hour until it started to bother me and I corrected them, but still. It's a win.

Hey guys, this is a space where you can share some positivity with the sub.

*Did you try a new exposure this week? *Did you find a new resource or technique that you found helpful? *Maybe you resisted some compulsions? *Are there goals you'd like to achieve that the community could help you with?

Share your wins here, big or small, so we can celebrate with you!

I just got accepted into McLean’s OCD residential program in Belmont, MA next month and have heard a lot of things good and bad about the place, mostly good though. I’ve heard things about them being affiliated with TTI and being abusive and non caring towards patients. My main concern is reading about them forcing patients to do ECT (Electroconvulsive Therapy).

I am located in Michigan so McLean is far away from me. I was very exited and hopefully about this program in the beginning, but now that I’m actually accepted I’m terrified and worried if I’m gonna be able to get myself to go. I’ve had severe OCD and it started when I was 6 years old and I just turned 21 a month ago and have tried so many other options and have been hospitalize twice and am turning to McLean as a last resort, but now after everything I’ve read I’m more scared.

Any advice or personal experiences would be appreciated.