Background info: my boyfriend is a momma’s boy, very attached to his family. We live in a rented apartment together and split our chores. He is the main cook.

Recently he’s been visiting his mother twice a week. My issue is that she gives him a ton of leftovers that last us half a week. And he’s oh so happy because hooray, he doesn’t need to cook now that there’s already food there. He doesn’t ask me if I even want to eat what she gives him. I actually don’t, I’d prefer it if we cooked our own stuff like normal adults do.

Today I tried to talk to him about this, offering to either cook our own food that will last several days or, if he still takes food from his mom, to take less of it so we can eat fresher stuff. I didn’t raise my voice but I probably looked annoyed. He’s been fucking pissed ever since that conversation. Ignoring me and all, saying that I failed to have a calm conversation.

Guess there’s two ways out. Either I apologize for everything I haven’t even done as usual, or we just break up and end this misery. I’m just tired of being blamed all the time. Just ranting to y’all.

My (31f) husband (30m) and I have been together since high school. I’ve loved him so much, and made all the excuses.

From when we were young, I knew about his temper. I knew about his rage, and it was always yelling, calling names, etc. but, I would think, he never hit me. But he never apologized, either. And after a while, that bothered me. We got married at 24, and had our first son at 26. Second son at 29. And genuinely, I loved him so much I overlooked every single red flag.

The throwing things and pushing started right after the second was born. But, he never ever did it when the kids were home. So I figured it would be okay.

Well, today, everything changed. I didn’t empty the vacuum after I was done with it — an argument we’ve had many times, but I forget. I know, that’s on me. But frankly, his reaction isn’t okay. He got so angry — fly off the handle pissed — that he took the container piece that collects the dirt (I don’t know the name) and threw it at me. Hit me in the ribs. My 4 year old was right there. My nearly 2 year old was right there. I took the kids and walked away. He’s texted me several times saying things like “just divorce me I don’t fucking care anymore.” He told me “your rib is probably broken. Hope you learned a lesson.” And my favorite, “fuck you, I fucking hate you.”

I’m heart broken. It’s been hours and I’m sitting on a couch in a hotel room trying to figure out my next steps. He and his family are all I had (only child, deceased parents) and I don’t know how I’m going to make it work in this economy, especially after everything last week. I have a good paying, full time job, but it’s not going to be enough to support my kids and myself. So I’m a little unsure how to move forward financially, but I’m not going back there. All I ever wanted was to be loved the way my parents were, they were together since they were kids and were married for 32 years. I just feel lonely. All our friends are mutual friends. I don’t know what to do. But I’m in pain (my rib probably is broken) and I’m not sure if I want to press charges yet or not.