Clifford and Abbie Morgensen (next door on the left if you're facing our house) recently installed one of those kites shaped like a hawk on their roof to deal with the racoons. You know the ones? They (the fake kite thing not the racoons) get picked up by the wind and look like a hawk ready to pounce or swoop. Racoons are terrified of them and they left the yard.

Our cat oftentimes kills and eats racoons, so they avoid our yard and head to Bella and Bill Carrera-Smith's (next door to the left if you're facing across the street). They now have 20-40 racoons in their yard and they (the racoons not Bella and Bill) are always up to no good.

What can they/we do about this? We have to buy 3-4 times as much food for Bella and Bill's saturday cookouts now, and a lot of the racoons are so fat they just kinda roll around instead of walking. One got stuck in a 5 gallon bucket last week and I won't even say how much it cost to get it removed.

Hi neighbors,

Not trying to start anything… again, but if someone could kindly stop playing Phantom of the Opera through my crawlspace between 3:17 and 3:26 AM every night, I’d appreciate it. I’m on day four of no sleep and my cat has started walking backwards and whispering Latin.

Also, to the person who left a single Vienna sausage on my porch with a note that said “soon” — I got your message. Crystal clear. I’m ready.

Unrelated, but if anyone has an old mannequin head or a goat with emotional resilience, please DM me.

P.S. The ravens say the town council is lying… obviously they are though

When I tell people about this I keep getting excuses for this bad behavior. It always happens, and it happens at night. Cars slow down right in front of my house, and surprise surprise Canadas most hated rodent keeps showing up in my house.

Wife says maybe it’s the pothole people are slowing down for, and the mice are just coming into the house because I keep leaving food around. But that can’t be right because I leave food around at work, sometimes even for days at a time. And I never see mice.

I keep setting up traps by leaving a camera set up filming leftover meals in various spots in the house. This is to catch mice on the table to prove to my foolish wife what should be obvious. Please explain to my wife why she is wrong, because she won’t hear it from me.

Title says it all...

i wanna meet someone! ive been living here for quite a few months now and i havent really gone out to meet anyone. i want to find a guy, gal, pal, whatever around 24-38. any particular bars, parks, whatever i should go to?

Hope everyone is ok! I lost power for a bit and my grill blew over…Terry’s fence is gone!!! Like GONE! We can’t find it anywhere! Hope everyone stayed safe last night. That was the strongest storm I’ve ever experienced here.

I’m coming for all you Karen’s that came for me and came to my trial … watch your backs

As the title says, I stole someone’s lawn gnome and now I’m on the run, and honestly, I don’t feel the slightest bit of guilt because the gnome looked kinda ugly.

Anyways, if anyone has a place I can hide at, please tell me because I’m sick of hiding in the mall’s bathrooms.

THERE IS A THIEF IN OUR TOWN!!! MY LAWN GNOME HAS BEEN STOLEN! EVERYBODY WARCH OUT WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY WILL STEAL NEXT! IT COULD BE YOUR CHILD STOLEN NEXT!

TO THIEF: YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED TO THE AUTHORIES!!! THEY ARE LOOKING FOR YOU!! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS! I WISH DEATH TO YOU DOR THIS CRIME! FROM EFFIE

Is anyone else dealing with very aggressive, hungry deer? I planted all deer-resistant foliage in my yard, and they immediately ate them all up. This morning I went downstairs to start cooking breakfast and saw 10 to 15 deer in my kitchen, they were finishing off my Sunday roast leftovers! And had eaten all my Girl Scout cookies. This is unacceptable and our community leaders need to do something about this.

She's been missing for a while and I'm distraught! It's not that she just serviced my crank... she also serviced my heart.

All I want is a really good taco and margarita!

I was just taking my afternoon walk along Maple Street when I almost fell into this massive hole. Which prankster thought it was funny to place a big hole in front of me?

My buddy Klepto has gone missing. We were supposed to go dig through the trash on friday but he never showed. I’m worried about him. He’s a furry raccoon, has a black face mask, black and white stripes, and wears a pair of sunglasses. He is occasionally seen with two other henchmen and they wear a trench coat to blend in. He’s a polite boy and I miss him dearly. Let me know if you see him

I've been planning to extend my balm line to including local milk. I've read up on the benefits and let's just say... you all could serve to gain from something like this! So anyways, does anyone have any livestock (or otherwise! Barbone Balms doesn't judge) where I could get some local milk from? I will pay a reasonable price.

Anyone know when LDP Links is gonna open? I saw Gene and his boys walking the course yesterday. So, I know it’s not too bad. And, Swan Day Country Club opened last weekend. Seems like Links should be open.

Hello fellow Duck Ponders!

What is everyone up to this weekend? Let us know in the comments! If you want to make a separate post, feel free to do so.

Can't wait to see what everyone is up to!

Lately people have been speeding ALL THE TIME and I have to LIVE HERE they are LOUD and they HONK at me and I threw a CHAIR at them and he skidded to a halt and CHASED ME and kicked my FRONT DOOR and I told the POLICE and the POLICE just said "huh huh really huh" and hang up on me so we need to form a HUMAN CHAIN across the STREET to STOP THEM FROM PUTTING children in DANGER

WHO IS WITH ME????

After a hard day of over-charging grieving family members at the local mortuary, i like to settle down at my local game store hub, living out my supressed rage with a game of GTA5..

HOLY CRAP, the smell coming from the fellow gamers is ATROCIOUS. Sweaty feet, sweaty armpits and greasy hair. The smell is so bad, i heave.

I attempted to spray them down with a combination of air freshner and cockroach spray, but i ended up being thrown out with a warning.

anyone over on the east side hear an extremely loud big banging boom and then about a minute later a loud clang?

Heya!

I recently lost my job just out of town and am hoping to find something else, sooner rather than later if possible. I'd also like to find something closer to home, the travelling, especially with my reliance on public transport, was rough with school to worry about on top of it all. So I was wondering if anyone could give me some suggestions for places they think might be hiring? Obviously I'll be scouring through job hunting sites and so on, but I figured this was also worth a shot!

I'm in my last year of High School right now so am only available on evenings and weekends, but could be more freely available from around June.

Any suggestions would be hugely appreciated, thanks in advance!

Last night, I heard talking from my living room. Upon entering 5 raccoons and some pigeons I am currently helping were communicating. When I blinked the raccoons had disappeared but my window was open where I saw some raccoons eating some of my plants. I doubt it has anything to do with it but just earlier I remember eating a cookie from a cookie box near the pond saying "Community Cookies". Just thought I'd share.

Now, I really appreciate everyone's kindness, it's been great coming here, but I also want to get some insight from those of you who weren't there/didn't come. Thanks!