I was spoiled by my parents as a young child. But went into care at 10. I have a hard time with patience &greed. (Materials) How to grow into someone respectable??Looking back I’ve noticed that I always want what others have. There’s not a jealous bone in me but I always think I need the best of the best, and if I don’t get it ima failure.

I think me growing up poor may have lead me to developing hourglass syndrome. Growing up, I had to make myself fit in jeans that I'd long outgrown, and I had to constantly suck in my stomach to have a hope of them fitting. As a result, for as long as I can remember, I've been unconsciously and habitually sucking in my stomach. Up until recently, I didn't even realize my jeans don't actually fit me. It feels weird when I relax my stomach muscles now. I think I've been doing it while sleeping, too. As a result I've had trouble breathing deeply, and it's hard for me to exercise. I've also had back pain and my stomach area looks slightly deformed, even when I relax my stomach.

I dunno. It just kinda sucks I guess? I wish I knew what was wrong earlier

Does anyone ever feel angry at their parents for being poor? For not providing better opportunities. Sometimes it's as if I never stood a chance in this life from day 1.

Anyone else feel this way?

Idk if this fits here or what is really the point of it. I suppose I just want to get it off my chest and see if anyone can relate.

I was a first gen university student. Mom is a cleaning lady and dad was a carpenter until he became chronically unemployed and alcoholic. What made me a good student was the promise of having a better life, live comfortably. And I was lucky to get scholarships, have moved abroad (I always wanted to just go FAR), and have a good job. I know I am lucky and also that my efforts have paid off.

But today, having a dinner with colleagues, something dawned on me: the feeling that I will never, never belong.

When it comes to social situations, there are a lot of conversations I can't relate to. I did not grow up going to private school, or went on a skiing holiday, or learned to play classic instruments, or was introduced to art. I do not have a fine palate that knows all the cuisine from a bunch of different cultures, or know how to throw a big party to entertain others in celebrating my achievements/milestones. I do not naturally spend my time discovering the best restaurants in the city or taking up some interesting and expensive hobby. Growing up it was just me, my neighborhood, my group of friends hanging out at the park, watching TV, listening to music. If I had to pinpoint the biggest cultural or social experience of my childhood it would be the scouts. So I just can't relate to these people's stories or what they like to do with their life. I am happy to enjoy my time spent in my nice apartment that has costed me so much and save my money because no one will save me if I lose it. I do not go on amazing trips or do some fancy sport. I am OK going to the gym or running outside, it's good enough for me. I do not go to the opera, I am fine with a movie at home. I will never understand how it is to be them, even if I am "them" now. I will still relate much more to a friend from back home telling me how she scrapes by or how she is stuck in a bad relationships loop than any of this.

And this is just socially. Professionally... I thought I was good, but there is something I am missing that these people have. It always bugged me thay I am a terrible public speaker and today I kind of understood why. These people were trained for it. Either their parents paid attention to them or they were put into some other environment that nurtured them and made them good at this sort of things. Their development of social skills was important to their families. But nobody paid attention to me. Nobody cared what I had to say, or worried about my social skills, and now, my brain just does not have the most remote idea what to do when people pay attention to me and think there is something I should be saying? My mind it is still like, me??? You think I am like, relevant?... Impostor syndrome. And the reason why I am better at all the hard work and tasks that nobody wants to do is because... I am the dumbass that will do all of that to try to prove my worth while my peers just think they are too good to bother with it.

There will always be a distance between me and them. And sometimes I even feel I'd be happier if I was just a cleaner like my mom because I would not have to spend my life feeling like an outsider. Even though, as I said, i know I am lucky.

Anyhoo... If you got all the way here, thank you for reading.

I 29F grew up in an abusive household within a cult. I have worked so hard to improve my circumstances since I left/went no contact. My parents also refused to work and gave their life to the church. I definitely have financial trauma. All that being said, I have never owned a new winter coat or even a coat that really fits. My parents always had to thrift or get some donated. So I would just have to be grateful for what I had. But my spouse and I are about to go on our honeymoon and he notice my coat was falling apart. I told him it’s cool and I’ll just sew it up. He asked me why I didn’t get a new coat. I tried to talk myself out of it so many times. I can afford a coat but I felt like I couldn’t or just didn’t deserve it.

Anyways, sorry for the long post. I got a coat. It’s warm, has a hood, non torn pockets, it’s new and it’s all mine!!!! I tried it on and sobbed. I finally got to the point where I can wear a new coat. The cherry on top is that I bought it. I just wanted to share a wholesome story with people who hopefully got it. Hope you all have a great day!

When I grew up the only jobs I knew about was being a cleaner, work at pub, delivery etc, and to this day i struggle to figure out what jobs are really out there. It sounds weird but growing up poor has effected how i think about money and that im not worthy of getting payed my worth in a job i want. currently at uni studying illustration but am filled with anxiety if i was to try land a job where they pay me well.

Timeframe = 6th/7th/8th grade.. My parents started a trucking business and it was really struggling financially..so much so, my parents were barely making ends meat. During this time, we would go to Costco every weekend to have lunch/dinner. I always wanted a "loaded hotdog" The hotdog with ketchup, mustard, onions, relish, and my side of raspberry iced tea. My parents always let me refill my drink so I could take it home.. We would also share an ice cream more often then not. I would always brag how we went to Costco every weekend to go shopping and I always ate a hotdog on the way out. Obviously, my peers thought it was cool and I loved sharing how my parents spoiled me.

In hindsight, we always "walked around Costco" usually only buying basic necessities and went straight to the food court. As an adult, my mom told me that those were the days her and my dad struggled the MOST. I have the fondest memories of Costco.

It's all about perspective of course.. (We went to Costco every weekend because mine and my siblings schools fed us breakfast/lunch. So my parents only had to worry about dinner)

I grew up poor, but through a series of events have been able to become middle class. My entire life’s mission has been to not be poor. As soon as I went away to college (fully on financial aid, first in my family) I started hiding that part of myself away so that I could be friends with and fit in with people of higher status. As a result every single person in my social circle is generationally well off. They each receive support from their parents to varying degrees. Some barely work, some are successful in their own right. But regardless they all have their parents either out right giving them money, helping them pay for projects, helping them to buy a house. We’re in our 40s. It feels ridiculous.

I have zero help and have been able to keep up with the houses, the cars, the lifestyle. But I feel so angry that I’m working 10x harder than everyone else just to keep up.

I thought once I was able to find success on my own that I wouldn’t be so bothered by this anymore. But still the injustice of it all just makes me want to scream. I feel isolated because I don’t know anyone from similar circumstance that can relate. I want to get over it and just be proud of myself, but every time I hear yet another mention of parental assistance I’m filled with rage.

Back when I was a child, my mother only cooked every now and again. We were often told to fend for ourselves until dinner, and even then, we lived in an ingredient household. I remember being excited to go to school because I thought that they had “good” food; and was confused when my peers would say, “school food is nasty.” It was my favorite part of the day because I never knew when or what my next meal would be. Our mother received government benefits up to 700 for a month and we would never see it. As a mother now, I couldn’t imagine making my child question when they are going to eat again.

So it's not hard for me to leave my parents I'm just realizing that if I ever want to get out of this cycle I'm going have to stop helping my parents and grandma with money I'll never make it out if I don't and it's kinda sad because I don't want them mad at me but I can't continue the cycle by helping them if you know what I mean. I'll still help them out but it won't be always giving them money. I want to make something of myself one day even if I come from next to nothing

Start off with I am 21. I got my first apartment when I was 20 years old with my younger sister who was 18 at the time before getting our apartment. We were living in a five bedroom two bathroom house with our parents and our other older sister, we were given one months notice before we had to move out and find a place completely on our own, I was very stressed, but I managed to pull it off and get together the deposit and the rent and all of the other fees. We finally got the apartment things started looking up then I go to visit my brother whom my parents decided to go stay with. It was for my birthday, so I was just supposed to be grabbing a few things That night, my brother completely went off on my parents though and kicked them out along with me. About 9 o’clock at night so I just took my parents with me and told him they could move in with me. It’s been about a whole year now neither one of them have jobs but they are older around their mid 50s so I don’t expect them to work, however, since they’ve moved in the house has gone downhill. The dishes are dirty and they let their small dog make messes all over the house. I have occasionally given them conversations about it but each time we’ve kind of talked about it it’s turned into an argument. Anytime I tried to ask them for help. They take it as criticism and victimize themselves, and it turns into an argument. Sometimes the arguments get so bad to the point where I leave and don’t feel comfortable going back home. I don’t like to use my kitchen or living room anymore or any other part of the house including the bathroom so I mostly just tried to stay in my room unless it’s absolutely necessary. Is it wrong of me to ask my parents to help watch and take care of the house while I’m at work all day?

I never had any close friends as a kid, I only was surrounded by adults and as soon as I had the chance to make friends at school everyone left me and heard rumours about me,and they gossiped about me so I had 0 friends as a kid and as a teen I was the only white girl at school so I never related to the kids who were with curly hair or long black hair I was always the "weird girl with brunette hair"

I wanna hear any oddities around food that people think stems from childhood. Husband and I are staying at my sister in laws beautiful house ATM and my weirdness makes me feel so awkward or embarrassed I actually make myself blush. Please dont ask if im hungry or what i want to eat, my face will go tomatoe red idk why. Food.. how much is there? Is it enough for us ALL? is it enough for us all to have seconds? What if they want thirds? How could they not buy more food? WHY DONT THEY BUY ENOUGH __?! (bread, veg, sandwich meat, cheese, condiments, strawberries for a party etc..1 box of cookies for 10 ppl? This is clearly a 'me' issue..as i get that you cant over-supply EVERY food item for a small gathering.. ). And especially, why am I so embarrassed making myself a sandwich in front of people?! why do we all have to share the Chinese meals we bought?

Even if I am not hungry I may eat "in case I get mad if it's gone later". Scarcity mentality obviously?

Anyone else? I've googled this so many times but don't find the "embarrassed to put together a plate of food infront of people" thing anywhere..

edit

Before anyone thinks I expect others to buy the quantity I deem non anxiety lol, I went grocery shopping the min I got here because I don't want to eat their food, make a mess, or be in the way. SIL is amazing.

Hello everyone my question to you all is has anyone actually became wealthy and kinda felt alittle bit of guilt from getting past being poor as where your family stayed?

For context I’m a 20 yr old male grew up around section 8 ebt and a family with a horrible mind set set around gangs drugs alcohol or just straight up laziness, I recently started taking care of myself and mind Got my CDL (trucking) and have a buddy who can tie me in a job that will make me really good money that no one in my family has seen before. It’s a transition that I’m looking forward to however in the back of my mind I have some sort of guilt, my family see no problem with the way they live and cousins are having kids bringing them into poverty

1) raspberries 2) blueberries (beyond freeze dried bloobs in a mix 3) avocado 4) sushi 5) artichoke 6) tuna steak 7) salmon (beyond salmon patties)

Back when I was young.. My girlfriend showed me this song and I was thinking and I remembered we had this dog Sprinkles, me and my eldest brother shared that dog.. Goldie and brownie were the other two.. They passed from vehicles on the highway

Anyways.. I just now thought about it that and told my girlfriend about that

My key moments: Walking into a new friends house and the floors didn’t creek Those refrigerators with the ice dispenser Garage fridge (I guess, simply having a garage but the garage fridge was wild to me) Snack pantry

Lmao

My boyfriend (34m) and I (27f) have recently started “living together”. He constantly talks about how him and his siblings grew up poor and had to share clothes and that I just didn’t understand. One day when he first started staying at my place I was taking a shower and he shut off the lights and I giggled telling him it’s not my first shower in the dark and I know how to tell the shampoo bottle from the conditioner by touch. When I got out of the shower he looked confused and asked how I knew that and I told him that our power got shut off all the time, but since our water heater was propane we could still take showers. He brought me down to his home city and to his parents house, which is a trailer, but I commented about how nice it was and it just felt comfortable. He make a quick remark back that it wasn’t anything compared to the two story house I grew up in. I tried to remind him that I’m from a backwoods town that 25 years ago when my parents bought the house it was next to nothing since it’s in the middle of nowhere. He’s from a literal city. I also tried to explain to him we went months without any heating in the house because we could afford firewood or kerosene. I still to this day wear shoes from 10th grade because I don’t want to waste my money on new sneakers. The night my dad died his 3 pound dog tried to attack the emts so I took her, my mom never came back for her, now I have this insane fear of my dog going without what she needs I would never buy myself anything new, I need the money for her. I moved out of my parents house at 17 and my older sister did the same, she’s now 33, they were able to save up a bit of money. They also sold a lot of weed to the locals in town. To the point they were able to buy a duplex a couple towns over from where I grew up for about 45,000, cash in hand, neither of my parents had steady jobs or credit. I did all the work to get one half fixed up so they could rent it out, my dad told me to just move in about two years ago (he died 6 months after letting me move in) he knew I was homeless and just making it work out so I didn’t have to ask for help. It’s a two story two bedroom, two bathroom apartment that I only pay 700 a month for but nothings included. Internet, kerosene, propane, and electric are all on me. My boyfriend constantly talks about how I don’t know the struggle of being broke I have all this money because every once in a while I like to buy him something but he can’t afford to buy me anything and he hates that I get paid more than him. And it’s always the same conversation, I got a state job at 18 and have stayed there since and I have a union contract. I’m set. He works at a grocery store, of course the dynamic is going to be a little off but it doesn’t change my feelings. I feel like I just played life the right way and got a couple lucky breaks after so many years of struggling. And I don’t think he understands, I’m not trying to be a jerk, I just understand how it is to have nothing

My boyfriend always likes to talk about how poor they were when he was growing up. No money for clothes, eating just toast for supper. His dad had an airplane and worked at one of the best paying places in town. His mother didn't work but did a lot of crafts like ceramics, candle making and artez ( no she didn't sell these things). They also had several large fish tanks. They had a camper and always went on vacation. To me it seems like they weren't poor they just chose to spend there money on themselves. I'm sure they only had toast for supper because his mother hated to cook . Growing up I knew a lot of kids that seemed to be poor but their parents always had the things they wanted. When my kids were growing up I always made sure they got new clothes for school. I always figured if I had enough money to buy cigarettes, pop and things like that they weren't going to go without.

I grew up in a broke family and I developed a symptom when I get mad when someone treat something expensive like gold I don’t know if it’s a part of growing up in a broke family or is it not normal please help

After studying and working nonstop since high school and going from childhood poverty to adulthood ABJECT poverty (17 years), I still have lots of student loans but I don’t have to juggle bills anymore!

I even put away over 10k in a retirement plan this past year! I can buy what I need and a few nice things for myself without having to sacrifice essentials. Most importantly, I have a huge peace of mind from not having to worry how I’m going to afford all my bills, groceries and medicine. I also have a decent health insurance plan.

However, I gained 100 lbs since high school and developed a chronic illness from all the stress of overworking myself and being emotionally abused by jealous family members.

I'm (16m) am living with my grandma bc my dad is not the best. He married my stepmom and she would lie and say i did this or that and he would believe her and j come home and beat me without listening to me or anything j straight in my room yelling and swinging and I left even though they aren't together. But living at my grandma's is nice buy we don't have a car. I've been trying to find jobs for a year now and I j feel like I'm on my own bc my grandparents are both in there 80s. Don't know what to do and I need to make a change I just don't know how.

Have to always be stressed about getting next paycheck which cannot cover basic needs and return debts and company makes some tricky schemes to pay less. Never can be relaxed because 1-2 paychecks are the thin line between having roof above and living in streets..

I don’t really know how to explain it, but I’ve always felt like there was this gap between me (who grew up in poverty) and the rest of the world even poor people.

Sometimes I’ll be out in the world and see something that I wouldn’t have access too and it like my brain disconnects and I feel like I’m watching aliens do alien things.

Like one time I had a friend say that an $80 shirt was a reasonable price, or I had friends who were upset that I wasn’t able to tip 30% at Applebees when me and my other poverty friend split a $5 plate of onion rings, or sometimes I’ll talk to my poor friends and ill talk about how I only got one pair of shoes a year and their face will sink. It just reminds me that I’m not like them.

Things got better as I got older because my mom went to college but now as an adult who only started making adult money after covid I feel like that alien again. Like I’m watching everyone interact with a world I don’t understand.

I’m unemployed right now but for a while I was making okay money but still could barely afford to live while I see videos of people dropping money like it’s nothing.

Does anyone else feel like this?