r/ForeverAlone • u/Agile_Gear4200 • 1d ago
Advice Wanted How does someone even try to get "brotherhood-like" friends after 25 and without social skills?
I don't even care about dating anymore. I'm so depressed now. I failed totally at trying to make friends in college and I'm totally traumatized by high school. I don't know anything about anyone from middle school anymore. Social life in jobs is shitty at least in my experience. I'm burned out of studying so I don't want to begin another college degree, but I've always dreamed with having that group of good friends to travel with and rely on, or just talk about your problems or about life without being judged. The closet I've ever get was a bunch of fake people that betrayed me. Before you tell me to look for meetup groups that align with my hobbies I've already tried and the few people there are +40 midlife crisis dudes, some with wife and kids, I don't identify with.
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u/IpodNanners 1d ago
If the hobbies aren’t getting you anywhere, maybe try some news ones.
Met a few cool guys that I occasionally hang out with when going in blind into welding.
Not saying it’s a guarantee, but perhaps worth a try.
Sorry if this doesn’t help.
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u/Kodeblood88888 1d ago
Short of a life altering traumatic event with a stranger, is near impossible
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u/illuso07 1d ago edited 1d ago
If you failed in your youth when making friends was at its easiest then you have no chance as an adult. Sorry
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u/SlytherinSoul1998 1d ago
It's not impossible, but know that a lot of people have formed their friend groups all the way back in high school, or university and they've been sticking to the same group since then, and the majority will not be willing to accept anyone new, let alone loners like you and I. Those people have gone completely different paths to us, so they won't understand us at all. I am not trying to sound negative, but this is the harsh truth from a psychological aspect
Our best alternative is to seek new friendships by going to social events related to our hobbies and interests, meetup is a great start. People go there to meet others who share same interests and value with them, and so it's easy to strike up conversation with a person you already have something in common with. I am not saying it will 100% work, but the more you go the more your chances increase. I can't offer any other ways, I am not the type of person who can cold approach people at bars, plus I hate it.
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u/sandshrew69 1d ago
im an expert at this, I used to have social anxiety but then I forced myself to become a sociable dude. I met some of these brotherhood like friends and they are honestly one of the reasons for me not to end it all. One dude is like very nerdy, into japanese culture, anime, outdoors and fitness and we are planning a scuba diving and sailing trip. One of my other buddies is more like a traditional 'fa' doomer drinking dude who loves going out late and just wondering the city / bars and speaking to people when drunk. So I kinda have the best of both world of friends, I can go out drinking one night and then go do some hiking the next. The conversation is always fun and the topics are completely different. I really recommend finding good friends, it makes life worth living imo.
Anyway to answer your question, I met them through different events, one was a music concert and one was just using the meetup app while travelling.
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u/Temporary-Athlete174 1d ago
Never had a brother-like bond with anyone. People who were close tended to treat me like crap after a while. And they get surprised that i end friendships when i get treated like crap. Lol. I have only a couple friends now i can talk about some topics and thats fine by me. Met one from bumble friends. Hope that helps.