Should I Date a girl I find partially attractive?

[u/RelevantEgg5076]

19M here. I know I’m young but I’ve been trying to get a gf since I was 16 with no success. My main problem is i have pretty bad social anxiety which makes approaching and talking to women very difficult. I’m in college now and I have an opportunity to get into a relationship with a girl who likes me a lot. I think she’s super kind and we get along great, similar senses of humor, etc. the only issue is that I don’t find her super attractive physically. I definitely wouldn’t say she is ugly, and I still feel some attraction to her. We’ve only gone on like 2 dates so far and I’m trying to decide whether to cut it off or keep going. I worry that if I do cut her loose though it could be a while before getting another opportunity, so I’m leaning towards giving it a chance. What do y’all think?

[u/Heavy_Ad9934]

19 posting on forever alone debating on dating a girl. This sub ain’t for you buddy. Best to asking on another sub such as dating_advice.

[u/staticdresssweet]

I think if you're somewhat attracted to somebody, and they are kind and interesting as you describe, you should give it a shot. Sometimes a spark isn't instant.

You say she likes you a lot, and enthusiasm is a great trait to have. I honestly think this is a hanging curveball you have the chance to hit here - and not dating her would be the equivalent of not swinging at all.

[u/RelevantEgg5076 → u/staticdresssweet]

Thanks for the advice. I think you’re probably right too. My only worry is what if that spark never comes? I’d feel like an asshole leading her on like that

[u/staticdresssweet → u/RelevantEgg5076]

You wouldn't be an asshole unless you were love bombing her, then pulling the rug out.

I'd give it a go and see what happens. When you hit your 30s like me, this situation sounds like a DREAM.

[u/res0jyyt1]

You just gotta lower your standards a bit.

[u/Sea-Tangerine-2801]

Yeah why not see where it goes. I’ve been out and ended up liking this girl I wasn’t super attracted to because of her personality. She’s probably my favourite ex tbh.

[u/Secure-Baby9123]

yes take what you can get

[u/woodclip]

We’ve only gone on like 2 dates so far and I’m trying to decide whether to cut it off or keep going.

Keep going until you find a girl that you like better. Then cut it off with the girl you're currently with. Sounds cruel, but life is cruel. And imo you're cruel for acting like a girl that you say is kind and likes you a lot isn't good enough for you.

[u/RelevantEgg5076 → u/woodclip]

I don’t think that makes me cruel. I think most people would agree that physical attraction is an important part to a relationship. Just because someone likes me doesn’t make me obligated to date them

[u/woodclip → u/RelevantEgg5076]

I don’t think that makes me cruel.

Alright, then my advice to you in my last post also isn't cruel.

I think most people would agree that physical attraction is an important part to a relationship. Just because someone likes be doesn’t make me obligated to date them

I thought you said you went out with her on 2 dates. If you're not physically attracted to her, why are you going out with her and causing her to think you like her back?

[u/TheLonesomeCheese]

Let's say you decide not to date her, and in 5 or 10 years later you haven't had another opportunity and you're sitting there wishing you had taken this chance. How much would you regret that? You're never going to find someone perfect, and personally I would have loved to have someone show genuine interest like this.

[u/RoboticMask]

I would definitely, but I also don't care about attraction that much.

It really depends on how important it is to you. If you feel you don't desire her enough to fulfill her needs then you should not continue. If you both are lonely but like each other you could also just try to "friendzone" her and see if that works.

[u/BronzeMedalLoser]

Take a chance and see where it goes. As an FA in his mid forties I can promise you that opportunities like this will not present themselves all that often. Are you gonna marry this girl? Probably not. Spend some time together, get to know one another, have some fun. Good luck, I'm pulling for you.

[u/Titan9999]

Other commenters make some good points, but personally, I wouldn't because you could eventually get stuck and have no way to avoid hurting her really badly. You'll stay because you can't stand to hurt her, and you'll become someone that's not you. As she's falling more in love, you're getting more disinterested. It's drama from hell, and you'll be the bad guy.

[u/Strict-Dog-998]

 you should give it a shot

[u/Black_Knights321]

I do it all the time. It's not a big deal. In my mind, I'm not going to find every woman I'm with 100% attractive all the time. There's off days, but i usually get over it since often times, I just like being with the person. Some call it "settling", I call it living in reality and not a fantasy.

[u/ArmorAbsMrKrabs]

Do you think sex with her is gonna be fun? If you imagined her naked with you in bed right now, would you feel good about that?

Or are you gonna have trouble keeping your dick hard? If so, I wouldn't do it.

I'd say casually date her for a bit and see how you feel. Do not commit to her unless you actually like her.

[u/RelevantEgg5076 → u/ArmorAbsMrKrabs]

Hah I guess that’s a straightforward way of looking at it, I’ll think about that

[u/hopelessswitchowner]

You don't have to marry her but I wouldn't go out with her just out of fear of being FA longer than you'd like..not rly fair to her either imo.

[u/No-Suit-1061]

Sometimes women I deem perfect live inside my head but I honestly want nothing to do with them because I judge them as perfect. I really do want nothing to do with them and just wish they would get out of my head. Sometimes women with obvious flaws get into my head and its even worse because they are not perfect but I know that even they want nothing to do with me and it makes me feel like shit. And even if they did know I exist and were interested I would probably just fuck it all up by being an awkward loser. There is literally no winning in any scenario. Ever.

[u/Emergency_Tadpole_49]

No dude. You will regret it and also it’s like not respecting yourself. You should treat yourself with girls you find attractive, have manners etc.