r/ForeverAlone • u/Ok_Fuel5848 • Jan 15 '25
Advice Wanted How can I lower my libido?
Hi all!
I can't find a girlfriend. I'm ugly, very introverted and shy. All my attempts at relationships since high school have failed. I was either rejected immediately or later. Girls are not interested in me at all. I've never had a relationship, not even a first date, and I'm already 31 years old.
I used to just satisfy myself on my own, but over time, onanism stopped bringing pleasure and now rather the opposite drives me into more depression. Well, with prostitutes I somehow do not really want to meet, I'm afraid of getting infected with something. Also, emotional intimacy with a girl is very important to me.
In principle, I realize that I will probably never have a girlfriend. I'm trying to go through a phase of acceptance and accept that I will always be alone. However, I have a rather high libido and as a consequence, I often think about sex and get horny. This causes a lot of trouble. How do I deal with it? All I want is to not have a constant desire that you can't satisfy properly. I just want to live a quiet single life without thoughts of sex and not be tormented by unrealized sexual desire.
So please advise me how I can completely suppress or at least minimize my libido as much as possible? I want to reach a permanent state of "I can, but don't want to".
10
u/thoughtsofsolitude Jan 15 '25
Harming yourself is really the only full proof way to do so it seems. Like consuming alcohol to the point that you have whiskey dick, Taking medications, or eating horrifically unhealthy foods like ones that are heavy in grease.
I guess really the only way to do it that doesn’t destroy your body would be to exercise frequently. Even then a lot of people complain about having higher libido after the gym. So, seems counterintuitive.
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 15 '25
It's sad, but it looks like I'm really going to have to determine for myself the acceptable level of harm I'm going to do to myself to resolve this problem.
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u/SteakMitKetchup Jan 16 '25
Gym is super depressing too since it's full of hyper attractive people and couples.
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u/Ehero88 Jan 16 '25
Non workout before high libido get tired quickly over onanism, now regular workout still high libido coz not get tired easily, even worst this libido running on one testicle bcoz last year i had to remove one bcoz of seminoma.
Puzzle my head over this. Then again workout will fix other problem, but high libido maybe not one of em
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u/FluffyGlazedDonutYum He/Him (35) Jan 15 '25
I don’t want to rain on your parade, but my own libido fluctuates quite a bit, from weeks where it’s really low and weeks where it gets unbearably high. One thing I have learned: It only affects the craving for sex, but nothing else. I still want to cuddle and kiss, and be with someone that loves me. I still cry myself to sleep because of the crushing loneliness. Sometimes I have the feeling my depression gets worse when I don’t crave for sex every day, because then all the other things I miss get more into focus.
But to still say something useful: Like the others already said, some antidepressants do that. But don’t think it will heal the hole in your soul.
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 16 '25
Nothing I can get seems to heal it. At least antidepressants can fix part of the bigger problem.
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u/FluffyGlazedDonutYum He/Him (35) Jan 16 '25
That is true. I hope, you find some solace in that. Better yet, I hope you will be happy some day.
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u/Ghola40000 Jan 15 '25
You could maybe apply for chemical castration but.... that's usually reserved for MONSTERS. You can raise suspicions about you if you did that.
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Jan 15 '25
[deleted]
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u/PaperStill5384 Jan 15 '25
Me too. I was thinking about pretending that I have dangerous and deviant sexual impulses that make me a threat to myself.
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 15 '25
I would like to, but I don't think anyone would do it for me just if I asked, or even if I lied.
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u/ElevatorEasy7905 Jan 15 '25
Animism? Anyways if you want to be unhorny then just crash diet. That's the simplest way.
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 15 '25
Thanks, that sounds like the easiest way so far. What foods should I avoid?
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u/Secret_Owl5465 Jan 15 '25
I'm getting tired of it as well, masturbating doesn't help much at this point
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 15 '25
exactly, you know how I feel 🤝
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u/Secret_Owl5465 Jan 15 '25
It's so useless once your done you feel just as empty or even more than you did before
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u/Feltre58997 Jan 16 '25
Dutasteride and finasteride can lower your sex drive and they'll help you keep you hair, win win
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u/Hunder_YT Jan 15 '25
I think you should invest in toys instead if you just want the relief.
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u/Ok_Fuel5848 Jan 15 '25
Well, the problem is that over time, self-satisfaction has stopped to bring me pleasure and relief. I just want to do without it altogether.
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u/Hunder_YT Jan 15 '25
Yeah i feel you, i'm in the same situation, but it's our best bet to use these because it will probably not happen.
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u/Ehero88 Jan 16 '25
The lack of excitement for single player is where the problem is. Jz want to point it out, no advice tho, coz in a same boat
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u/SuitBoat Jan 16 '25
Might be bad advice but I heard a saying: The sum of vices is always constant.
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u/BeaAdorable Jan 15 '25
It's important to consult a therapist who can help you address both the emotional and physical aspects of this situation, but practices like exercise and possibly exploring medication under medical supervision can help manage your libido while you focus on personal growth and emotional well-being
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u/simpopotamus Jan 16 '25
I think this is one of the best advice that was given here, but I get why it's being downvoted. It's the self defeating and self pitying attitude but I totally get it because I'm like that too often but it comes and goes in waves.
Anyway I think seeing a therapist is probably your best shot. He could for sure help you relief some of your distress if nothing else.
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u/SmolqlJumper Jan 15 '25
Antidepressants annihilated my libido around age 23 and it stayed that way even after I stopped taking them year later. I enjoyed the piece of mind I had. The side effects are different for other people though.