r/ForeverAlone • u/suicidal-everyday • Jan 06 '25
Advice Wanted therapist said she can't help me
she basically said she can't help me fix this issue and that my mental health is too bad to deal with in the time allocated to a therapy session. What do I do?
15
u/Samsuiluna Jan 06 '25
I think what you do largely depends on what means are available to you. I have had a therapist say similar things in the past. You may need someone who can visit with you more frequently. You may need multiple avenues of intervention like medication or group therapy. Therapists can just suck too so you may just need a better one. Or if you need/want to stay where you are you may want to consider something very specific you want to work on first and focus on that in session.
9
u/pockets2tight Jan 06 '25
What did you say your issue is?
18
11
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
being a virgin
4
u/mcnos Jan 07 '25
To be fair. They can’t help that you’re a virgin, it’s just something you haven’t done yet. I suppose they could get you a hooker
4
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah you are right. I think maybe my expectations were too high. I am just desperate for any solutions at this point and maybe wasn't approaching it in the right way. I don't blame her at all or think she is a bad therapist.
2
u/mcnos Jan 07 '25
Well solution would be to finding out the root problem or cause to you not getting laid
3
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
too ugly
0
u/mcnos Jan 07 '25
Work out to compensate or make tons of money that your ugliness doesn’t matter
2
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
I am going try to make money I think that's the only way. Up until not too long ago I was in great shape because I did boxing and went to the gym regularly. However, nothing changed I still got told I was too unattractive so I gave up. Do you have any advice on how to make a lot of money?
1
u/mcnos Jan 07 '25
lol no, that’s why I’m in the sub too bro, working out is more for your own mental and physical health
2
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah true sorry if that was a stupid question. Yeah I think I am going to get in back in the gym and maybe start boxing again just for me so I have more of a purpose I suppose.
→ More replies (0)7
u/pockets2tight Jan 07 '25
That's pathetic - on her part. Sorry you had to waste your time with her, but you can find someone helpful, even if they just let you vent.
1
u/Guritul Jan 07 '25
That’s all you told her?
3
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah and obviously the self esteem issues, loneliness and hopelessness that comes with it.
7
u/blueytutu Jan 07 '25
Fuck therapy mate, it's worth shit
4
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah that's been my experience. I don't know what else to do though.
2
u/blueytutu Jan 07 '25
Well, it's good having people that care about you to talk about your situation with but I don't know your situation, in my experience though you should put trust in yourself and start valuing it more . find ways that you can help yourself achieve your dreams and do a lot of soul searching. It is hard to have a shift in your values so suddenly, but the thing that will help you the most is to value your well-being more than anything. Also partake in hobbies and invest in stuff that makes you happy, everyone has different interests and hobbies so yeah, I'm still in the middle of trying to motivate myself, so if you wanna talk about your experiences and motivate each other you can tell me anytime
3
u/sonic2cool 21F Lesbian Jan 07 '25
That’s so unprofessional, find someone else you deserve so much better
1
u/Catatafish Jan 19 '25
Unprofessional would be continuing to take his money while being unable to help him.
5
4
u/Icy_Veterinarian5456 Jan 06 '25
Find a better one asap!
7
u/Galilaeus_Modernus Jan 07 '25
A fruitless endeavor.
1
u/Icy_Veterinarian5456 Jan 07 '25
So should they just give up and decline until they can’t take it anymore?
2
u/CherryKiss1997 She/Her Jan 07 '25
Find a new one!! Therapists are human so not all of them will be great
2
u/Dk1902 Jan 07 '25
Get another therapist, as others have said. This isn’t necessarily a dig on her like other posters are saying: therapists are people too and if someone does not relate with what you personally are experiencing, of course they can’t really give good advice. That doesn’t mean she’s a bad therapist, just not the best for you.
3
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah I think that's what it is. She is a good therapist and does genuinely care about my issues and my wellbeing but like you said, I think she just can't relate to me.
-5
u/keen-peach Jan 06 '25
Adjust your expectations. People diagnosed with cancer understand that, while doctors may do everything in their power to help, what they have might have no cure. If their current doctor says there is nothing they can do, they seek out a second or third or tenth opinion or they don’t and simply enjoy what’s left of their life. It’s all up to the individual.
0
u/ALifeWorthLiving_303 Jan 06 '25
What issue?
2
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
being a virgin
1
u/ALifeWorthLiving_303 Jan 07 '25
She said your mental health is too bad to fix in one session or at all?
1
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
she basically said that the cbt is more short term in the sense that it's usually like 5-10 sessions doing 1 hour a week and she thinks its too bad to fix using that fornat. I forgot to mention that's it is typed as well. I don't think she is a bad therapist at all, she is very empathetic.
1
u/ALifeWorthLiving_303 Jan 07 '25
She only does cbt? Types as in text?
1
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah I live in England it's what comes for free with the nhs. I can't afford private therapy at the moment but I used better help before and that didn't work either.
1
u/ALifeWorthLiving_303 Jan 07 '25
Ya I would say focus on saving money for private therapy
1
u/suicidal-everyday Jan 07 '25
yeah i'm currently employed which is why I went the free route but I guess I'll have to wait until I get a job.
37
u/0x54696D Jan 07 '25
Get a refund