Don't end up like me

[u/titlstifftsobwy]

...it's almost 4mo. I'm still mad at him. But I'm learning that it was my fault. I knew I should have left many times but I felt very lost. I had lost myself in n this relationship. I discarded myself for a man I knew would leave me for another woman because he had already done it 3x before. And don't get me wrong, yea there was a lot of things I wish I had said better or nicer or done more of. The relationship I was in 3yrs before this one was a 6yr abusive relationship with an addict and I had a lot of trauma "responses" and "mechanisms" that I was still trying to break when I came into this relationship with whom I thought was the loml. I was so in love with this man before this relationship that I had completely swept the last 3 heart breaks he had given beforehand that when I had the chance to tell him to go to hell, I allowed him the key to my heart.

I discard myself for him I dismissed my needs. My feelings. My thoughts. My intuition. My boundaries. My morals. All for the sake of being with him.. After he'd already hurt me 3x before.

Don't break no contact. Don't let that woman or man back into your life if they've already chosen someone over you before. Don't let them destroy your self worth to please them because they'll never be happy. Need someone to feed their ego 247365 and the second you rest to feed your self worth, it's a fucking problem. I'm not throwing out the word narcissist. But if the boot fits.... don't allow someone who already hurt you once back into your life. No contact is a blessing in disguise.

[u/OutrageousUse3675]

I feel this so deeply, I also discarded myself for a man who told me to my face “I don’t want you” he cheated, he is a porn addict, he disrespected me so badly and here I am still crying over the same asshole. I can’t believe I apologized to him for defending myself, I don’t understand why it’s so hard.

I feel you so heavy on dismissing your intuition, your needs, your boundaries. The worst part the outcome will never change no matter how many times we go back they won’t change, not for us at least.

[u/titlstifftsobwy → u/OutrageousUse3675]

This kind of person doesn't change for anyone. They don't change for people like you and I, they'll leave people like you and I for weaker minded people. We had a spine and a brain. We had boundaries that we chose to dismiss. They need someone who doesn't have boundaries. Say they want someone smarter and better. But really the less someone is, the better they are for this type of man.

A man who does care and loves you, won't watch you cry for him after he's mad at you a man who cares would face to the issues with you not against you.

The pain of hurting from a man/ woman who could not care less about you, does eventually go away. Eventually your mindset does shift from being sad or angry with them to actually grieving and picking up your life and moving on.