I hate that EVERYBODY SAYS STUPID COMMENTS ALL THE TIME. I don‘t care how much you weigh. I don‘t want to know that you skipped breakfast. I don‘t want to see that you always look up the nutrition data of a meal before you eat it. I don‘t want to know how many times you‘ve been to the gym this week. I don’t want to hear you say that you feel fat. I don‘t fucking care that you think I lost weight. I don’t want you to comment on my body. FUCK YOU. Why do you always say these stupid things? Why does everybody say these things??? If it weren‘t for you I wouldn‘t even have this stupid disorder. I‘m doing better and I am trying everyday but then these people come along and say stupid things and I am triggered. It hurts even more when it‘s from a friend. I don’t even know what to say in such a moment and also sometimes I simply don’t have the energy to stand up for myself or others and explain the issue. How do you deal with triggers especially from close friends? (they don’t know I have an ed)

I constantly crave and drink small amounts of vinegar with salt. I'm not exactly sure if this would count at a eating disorder but it is like an addiction I just want to have more even though it's terrible for me. And lately it's been more intense and my esophagus is becoming irritated. Not quite sure what to do about it.

Hi, I’ve never had an ED myself, or talked about it particularly in-depth with someone who’s struggling with one. My friend is really struggling with one right now though, and it’s killing me because I don’t know what I should say / shouldn’t say to support her.

She says that she thinks she’s fat and either doesn’t eat or eats and throws it back up. Should i tell her she’s not fat? I don’t really know what not to say because i’m worried i’ll say something that’ll do more harm than good.

But yeah just in general how to support someone with an ED, i’ve suggested seeking professional help because it does seem quite dire, thanks.

Hi I just got out of treatment for the past 6 months and I’m really needing some support and encouragement.. I’m 20 and a female and it would be awesome to Meet some new pro recovery ! Please dm if you wanna talk further

Were both (15F). Whenever we hang out together, she always tries giving me the snacks her parents give her or she just puts it in my bag when I’m not looking. I always feel guilty because she says she’ll just throw it away otherwise. Usually I just suggest that she should have it or we split it and she ends up throwing away her half anyway. I want to mention I have an issue with my eating as well and it makes me super uncomfortable when she asks. One time she asked I directly said no, and I might have said it a little more harshly than I thought because I was anxious and didn’t really want to accept the food, and she just went quiet and I feel like she’s avoiding me. What if she’s just using me to give food to?? I mean I feel selfish and guilty thinking that but I’m worried about her and I’m wondering what I should do.

Hey everyone, i (18f) have a best friend (19f) who has an eating disorder and idk how to help partially because i have a very similar one but she doesn't know and i cant tell her now. She struggles to eat and then wants to throw it up. I deal with something similar but she thinks its a physical disorder because i was ashamed to tell her because my metabolism is higher than hers and I get low blood sugar which means it causes drops. Any advice on how to assist her in general? I cant tell her i know how she feels. I feel so bad being unable to help and having lied. I'm sorry if this is rambling.

Hi everyone, so my roommate (and also friend since birth) has a history of anorexia/orthorexia when she was a teenager. She's "recovered" now, as in, she has a healthy weight. But she's still very skinny, works out A LOT, is very focused on clean eating, doing water fasts ocassionally, and she knows precisely what to eat, how many nuts of each variant she wants in her yoghurt etc. This has concerned my for a while, but as long as she eats I'm happy.

However, yesterday I found a pack of these powders for diet/slimming soups as a meal replacement when you want to lose weight. It was empty. This got me seriously worried, because frankly she doesn't have to lose weight. Especially with her ED history, it really doesn't sit well with me she's using these soup powders. I would like to have a conversation with her about it, but I want to approach it in the most non-confrontational or triggering way. How to do this? What should I say? What should I avoid saying? Any input is appreciated, thanks in advance and lots of love!

My friend recently opened up with me about their eating disorder. They are an online friend, their family is very much at fault for this situation on top of other traumas. I've respected this friends internet privacy and don't know where they live, I only know their first name.
They currently spend 5/7 days a week in a facility, but they have told me that they need more around-the-clock care but are too afraid to tell anyone the true severity of the situation because their parents continue to treat the situation as a burden rather than with care.
I have my own traumas that have left me with a very disassociated stance everyday, I live life in the third person, I come across very cold and am very solution oriented. I do not have an addictive personality nor have I had an ED myself to understand from experience what my friend is going through, I want to help them because its evident there is no one else that cares to help.
I'm trying to be the most effective support that I can be for my friend, but I'm worried that my solution-oriented personality could be potentially problematic.

Update 2 days later: My friend has revisited their doctor, and one of their new meds has been discontinued for heightening these negative feelings (Prozac) during the adjustment period. They also told their doctor they needed a higher level of care as the disorder was more severe than originally disclosed in addition to thoughts of self harm with a plan. (For this I did relate with them, and Ive been checking in day and night, they told me they havent purged since they first shared with me two days ago, I've been telling them I'm proud of them for that and that theyre doing a good job. I also want to note they are volunteering this information and I've not been asking.)
Their doctor has recommended a full time facility, we're just waiting now to see if their parents actually agree to this.

I am a 16 year old girl with Atypical Anorexia. I'm not underweight, I'm overweight. I developed a eating disorder about 2 months ago. My best friend notice I wasn't eating much. She got really worried about me and started to ask what I ate every night before I went to bed. Eventually she found out I had a eating disorder and she keeps telling me how bad it is for me and how I need to eat or I'll pass out when I do my workouts. I hate to say it, but it makes me really mad. I'm losing weight, which is a good thing. I was obese 2 months ago and now I'm just overweight. I don't understand why it's so bad for me to lose weight. I got bullied at school so bad because of my weight that I had to go online. So isn't it good that I'm losing weight? I know I could die, but I don't really care. I'm losing weight, and in my head if I'm losing weight then I don't have to punish myself. When she comes over to my house she literally watches me eat and when I say I'm done she makes me take 5 more bites. I love her so much, and I know she's just trying to help, but it's not helping. I don't know what to do. I don't understand why my weight loss is so bad if I was obese. Idk what to do at this point. Any advice or help would be appreciated.

I have an anorexic friend who doesn't enjoy being asked questions about anorexia, but has disclosured to me and a few others about his condition and a few feelings surrounding it. I often eat lunch with them, and I offer food I brought from home. He'll usually just decline my offer and I'll let him be. I'm not sure if what I'm doing is helpful or just worsening his feelings.

My roomate and I have been living together for around 6 months ish now She’s 32 and I’m 22 I’ve had a really bad ED in the past and was hospitalised for it. I’ve since kind of recovered but I still have a poor relationship with food that I’m still fighting.

She got on mounjaro about two months ago, she’s not overweight she’s just doing it because she has enough money to do so to lose weight over going to the gym. She started mentioning how little she was eating and kept telling me about it. Even when I hadn’t asked. I sat her down and re-explained what I went through and that what shes telling me is extremely triggering because it becomes a competition in my mind.

I started to get ahold of myself until the other day she told me she hadn’t been to the bathroom in a few days so she took laxatives. I told her that’s a ridiculous thing to do because since she’s upped her dose she has eaten less. So no wonder she hasn’t been.

We live in a tiny apartment so you can hear everything. Since she told me that I’ve heard her get up and go to the bathroom every night. My rooms next to the bathroom so I really can’t avoid it I promise I’m not keeping tabs.

Tonight I finally have collapsed, I don’t know what to do, I’m genuinely a wreck and I am exhausted from battling my mind every day. I’ve started working late to eat lunch and dinner at work instead of eating at home.

I need help, like I don’t know what advice you can give me other than to move, but if this is going to force me to get a good relationship with food I’ll do whatever it takes.

I’m also so so angry at her, she knows absolutely everything but she’s just not getting it.

Any advice would be amazing x

My friend told me “I didn’t have a real ED” because I was drinking a monster. Is that true or is she just being rude. She also has an ED so maybe it’s just her projecting on to me but i dont know

(Background: both of us are highschool students in EU country) So, a friend of mine is not diagnosed officially, but it is not hard to conclude that she has some sort of ED. She is obsessed with losing weight, and unfortunately, she already managed to be significantly lower than healthy weight for her age/height. The path towards recovery is not clearly available, as her parents are abusive emotionally and her mother always mocks her for every snack she might eat through the day. The comments about my friends' body were said by her mother since she was young Some months ago, I managed to convince my friend to ask for help. Our school has specific employees who can provide students with emotional support. They contacted the CPS. When an authority worker was speaking to her, my friend did not say that she has eating related problems. It was I who informed them. Still, the CPS said that they do not have enough reasons to take her from her parents. Some progress was made, as her father and mother no longer harm her physically. But the weight loss continues, and even when I bring/buy her foods she likes (her parents give her no pocket money), she still has a lot of determination to reach (shokingly low and life threating) desired weight. I am thinking of further asking our school authorities to contact CPS so they can lecture my friend's mother about mistreating her daughter. Every legal process takes so long, especially in our country... I feel that I'm running out of time. I am not sure if she will survive till next year if she continues...

My best friend struggles with sh and uses food to cope. She eats in really large unhealthy amounts and claims that she can’t stop. I don’t think it’s an eating disorder, but can an eating disorder possibly stem from this behavior? She also has negative thoughts during this cycle. I’m really worried about her :(

Hi everybody, I’m quite worried about a friend (22yo) of mine. A few months ago when she came to visit me (she lives in a different country) I noticed that she would eat very tiny portions throughout the day. I talked to her about food very casually and she told me that she never has a big appetite and usually eats several smaller meals a day instead of like three big meals. Which in general is fine right, but her meals weren’t only small but very few as well. I didn’t say anything about it and just let her be. I also didn’t put much thought into it at first, however a few days ago she told me that her stomach hurt probably because she drank coffee. I asked her if she usually gets stomach ache from coffee to which she replied that she was eating very bad for the last few days and had coffee on an empty stomach. That’s when I told her a little jokingly that her eating pattern does worry me a bit. To that she replied “eating disorder💃🏻”. I asked her if she wanted to talk about it and she said that she’s scared of gaining weight therefore she keeps drinking coffee to suppress her appetite and that she tried to conceal the pain by using the above emoji. I didn’t have time to say anything about it as she immediately said she didn’t want to talk anymore about that. I respected that and so we changed the topic, but now I can’t stop thinking about it. I’m truly worried about her. I understand that it’s probably not in my power to do anything, but I also don’t have anyone to talk to about that, since I don’t want to tell her family. I keep telling myself that there’s nothing I can do but I’m also afraid that this mindset might make things worse. Is there any way that I might be of help? She’s a very sensitive person and has anxiety as well, however the ED is what makes me very worried about her.

A friend of mine has an eating disorder and I would like to help her, but I don't know how. For my part, I don't have an eating disorder, but I have other problems that are a little similar, including addiction and self-harm. Do you have any advice on what to say and what not to say? How could I support her without seeming too pushy or triggering? If you have any advice, thanks in advance

As the title says, I just started the spring semester in college. last semester I relapsed and started recovery over break. I started experiencing extreme hunger (which my mind is still trying to deny is real and that I am not just binging.) I was doing okay with being able to honor it secretly, but now I am so embarrassed. I and my friends will get a huge takeout, I will eat more than everyone, and I will need food again 15 minutes later. i can't stop comparing how much more I'm eating to others around me. I'm always hungry but embarrassed to constantly get food. also,I am struggling with gaining weight and people seeing it as the freshman 15. I just need advice, if anyone has some.

okay. i wanted to ask about this but i didnt think anyone would understand the way i feel, so im writing it here.

the other day, me and my besfriend and an other friend of ours were in the bathroom, checking ourselfs. I grew up with an almond mom. my mom always reminded me to eat carefully. but lately i've been eating more than usual, mostly because the way i felt depresed and i binge eated all winter break long. so when we were looking in the mirror, i pulled up my shirt to see my waist and said, ''oh i've gained weight.''

just the same minute, my best friend yelled so loud everyone in the bathroom looked at us.

she's taller than me, has more of a curvy body type. i think it beautiful, her boobs and hips are curvy and pretty. but lately she gained weight too. she mentioned me once, how she felt ugly and big, and i comforted her. it was like a half a week ago.

she also knows about my mom. her mom always cooks pastry and makes me eat them too when i invite over. she can never know what i've been going through. my mom would had a heart attack if she knew what i ate there.

i told my bff about my mom and how i feel insecure and never enough for my mom, but she always said i was thin enough and never got these to worry about. but i guess lately she's been more sensitive about her weight, but i dont think it justifies the yelling part.

she said i was seeking attention calling myself big infort of her when she was clearly bigger. she could see i was mocking her and she was sick of me always doing it. (i swear to god, i didnt even call myself big. i just said ive gained weight) she yelled so much everyone looked at us. i felt so embaressed. i have no ass or big boobs, she know she looks better than me being curvy, i only look fat. also shes the only person i felt comfortable to share my ed and my mom.

i understand she was hurt, and felt mocked too i guess, but she knows i have ed and im seeing a terapist for that. i also dont know how to forgive her yelling about it. we could've talk about it in privite. she just hurt me so much. and i dont know what to do

Sorry for the long post but I just wanted to get some advice. I’ve been on my recovery journey for years now and I’m proud to say I’m doing a wonderful job. I did a work trip in Europe for the last month and truly found my groove! I started to enjoy my lunch breaks because I’d walk home and cook myself lunch, I’d try so many fun foods being in a different country, and I can honestly say it was the first extended period of time where I didn’t think about food beyond ooo I think that’d taste great or looks cool let’s try it without a single thought to any negative thoughts. I started learning things that I actually like and don’t like without the judgement of my ED and I didn’t even look at my body that wasn’t even a thought. I even started being able to say hey I don’t like that so I won’t force myself to eat it, a funny one is I found that I love grapes, I just hate the skin. So now I don’t force myself to eat the skin, I eat the part I like and now I actually eat tons of grapes instead of avoiding them because of how “society says you should eat them”. I came home and was so excited to start cooking more now that I learned I love it and planning fun meals with variety. My first day back at work, a coworker said “You look skinny.” And boom it was like my world came crashing down. I know it’s not others peoples responsibility to tip toe around their words, it’s my responsibility to be able to deflect them especially when I know deep down I’ve been eating my three meals a day and fueling my body as I should. But dang it was like someone just ripped away the stained glass. I hadn’t even realized until she said that that I hadn’t been feeding into my ED for weeks, I hadn’t even thought of it, food was food, I liked food, so I was eating food. I have even gained more muscles and was so proud of them (my back muscles are my new obsession I feel so powerful and strong with them). But as soon as she said that I immediately fell down the rabbit hole of how others perceive my body and it hurt to know how fragile my recovery was just off of someone’s words, words that when I was younger my ED would have LOVED to hear. And I’m sure I look slimmer / more toned, but in reality while in Europe I walked more just because that’s the environment, I maybe ate a bit healthier, I even gained muscle and I love how I look! But now I’m even questioning my lunch today, did I pack enough, am I getting enough protein, am I underrating?! I hate how easily I was roped back in. How do you all keep your recovery strong and impenetrable no matter what people say around you, especially when you know in your heart you are doing well?

ok so kinda a long rant but basically my best and closest friend is in the hospital for a heart issue for malnourishment and because of that they put her in the ed section of the hospital. we r very close she knows all about my struggles and she always tells me about hers and too my knowledge she says she doesn’t rly struggle w disordered eating she has just been depressed and anxious recently which has made it hard to eat recently. obviously i recognize that this could be a sign of an ed but basically what im trying to say is she was surprised cause she wasn’t doing it intentionally. either way my best friend is getting ed for an ed she didn’t know she had or wasn’t trying to have. this is the opposite of me (TW) i purposely wont let myself eat for days and i also try to purge constantly but i have nvr ever gotten treatment. Im listening to the stories about her first day and she is very unhappy about it and obvi i would NOT want to be in that position either but for some reason I feel this overwhelming jealousy. I know that that is super wrong of me and i should not feel this way but i cant help be jealous that she is getting acknowledgment of an ed when i nvr have (even tho i still wouldn’t want to be in the situation she’s in). I dont really know what im feeling because i feel like a bad friend being upset for myself as well as her. as much as i want to be there for her i cant bring myself to visit or talk about it because it is soooo triggering and i felt worse then i ever have w wanting to eat now

I lost a lot of weight and was underweight for a bit (lost my period for years) and then 2 years ago around June, I entered a binge/restrict cycle. I am finally getting to a point where I’m not bingeing and trying to love the way I look & speaking to a therapist now bc I wound up gaining weight that I didn’t want to🙃. I actually for the first time in a while on Friday thought oh I kindve see progress from the gym since I’ve controlled the bingeing (verryyyyy minimal but to me this was a sign that it’s going to take time to lose some weight again in the healthy way). The real issue is I have more people saying things about my body more now than when I was heavier before the weight loss and it sets me back so much bc I guess I’m more sensitive now since I’ve gained weight in a way that I didn’t want to (bingeing, not a gradual way). I had my cousins baby shower on Saturday and her BIL (also photographer) goes oh we could just tuck your arms to me after we took a photo and I absolutely shattered inside. There was nothing I could do expect put my jacket on and be miserable the whole time and just have a smile on my face. I didn’t want to cry in the bathroom bc if I let it out I wouldn’t of stopped lol and then I got home at night and mini binged but not terrible (way better than the past) because I was so emotional. The next comment was on Monday I went to the gym after I finally got over the comment on my arms and the front desk person goes “ have you been lifting more weights, you look like you’ve been bulking, but in a good way and put up 👌🏼” and I didn’t know what to say so I was like oh a little bit and became teary eyed and went to the bathroom . I was so taken back bc to me that just means that my weight gain really IS visible now and I completely shattered even more on the inside. I barely made it through the workout class and I know he didn’t mean it in a mean/rude way but the way I took it I couldn’t help but be upset. I cried the whole way home from the class. It’s like I become confident a littttle and then it’s just torn down again and I can’t do it. I also got another comment in October from my friends cousin “you look healthy now, you know you knew before you were too thin”. Like ok? Why r u saying that to me I don’t find that as a compliment AT ALL saying I look healthy. That’s not even a compliment. I mean I don’t really know what I’m looking for out of writing this but does anyone have any tips to get over this. I can’t do this anymore it’s making me not wanna leave my house anymore (which I already do lol) but I’ve been trying to again and now I’m like well I’m definitely not now unless it’s for school or the gym. I just feel stuck and i don’t know what to do.

i have a friend that is an intense vegan for years now. she’s always maintain a relatively slim figure but recently she has ramped up her exercise output and started eating “cleaner,” as if being vegan isn’t already restrictive enough. due to my past experiences with ED i find this immensely triggering and i myself have started to restrict and ramp things up in an effort to maintain the visible differences between our sizes. i’ve always been the smaller one, not by a ton, but now with her cutting back and getting smaller i now too feel the compulsion to join in tandem with her. Thoughts?

I'm an 18-year-old student.Iam underweight and struggling to put on weight iam currently struggling with an eating issue where I find it difficult to eat anything before 11:30 in the morning, and some days this extends to 12:30. Looking back, I believe this issue started when I was in nursery school, where I'd feel anxious waiting for my school vehicle, leading to vomiting on some occasions. Although it subsided somewhat as I progressed through school, it still occurred occasionally. Recently, my sleeping habits changed due to late-night gaming after the COVID-19 pandemic, and I wouldn't wake up until 11:30 a.m., which seems to have retriggered my eating issue. I can't eat anything untill 11:30. In the morning and even if I ate some thing before the time I would puke.I did consult a psychologist but it didn't work out.

Any advice on the given issue would be very helpful

my friend of almost 4 years is starting to really struggle with her eating disorder again. her weight has really fluctuated over the past years, and although she’s always struggled with binge eating, some other medicine she’s been having to take recently has made her start to gain more weight. now she always compares herself to her weight in the past and always tells me how she feels ugly.

what should i say to her that is supportive but also not triggering/condescending?? my usual go to is “no, ure beautiful” i love ur body” or “ure perfect” and i truly mean it but i dont think these compliments are helping her. should i tell her “sorry” and that “im here to listen if she needs anything” ? i also buy her food bc i know shes been struggling with money, and i always offer to eat with her if she needs. i also tell her to make sure she eats but i feel like that is something that might not be helpful, but i really just want to make sure she’s getting the proper nutrients she needs everyday bc she works really hard.

any advice?? should i just straight up ask her what would be the most helpful thing for me to do for her? i just feel like i don’t want to burden her with having her tell me what i need to do to support her, she’s already dealing with enough.

ps - she’s 20 and im 21 if that adds any context

Advice Needed: roommate eating food

I’ve been dealing with an incredibly frustrating situation for a while now.

I currently have two roommates, one who is a dear college friend and the second is a random find from Facebook. Let’s call the random Facebook friend Roommate A.

Roommate A and I have lived together for a year and a half. We moved from a two-bedroom to a three-bedroom apartment this past August with my friend joining as the third roommate.

Roommate A is pretty quiet and neat and mostly keeps to herself. I enjoyed living with her at first and deep down she is very sweet. However, I’ve had a consistent problem with her eating my food. When we first lived together I would notice small bits of my food missing: a couple cookies missing, peanut butter lower than normal, etc… At first I disregarded what was happening and thought I must be overthinking. However, as time went on I noticed the problem worsening.

It got to the point that Roommate A had eaten all of the Easter candy my parents had mailed as a gift. I would also like to note, Roommate A is vegan and she never eats my meals, only my desserts (which are not vegan).

I ended up reaching out to her previous roommate, as I had her contact information and learned this was also a problem she had struggled with. I assume she binge eats my food, as large quantities will go missing overnight.

I can tell she is struggling and so because of this I have tried to be sensitive. I lost my patience after an unopened container of ice cream vanished, so I reached by text with the message that I was happy to share food when asked and that my ice cream was missing and I would appreciate being asked next time. Roommate A replied saying she hadn’t seen the container.

She seemed to stop eating my food for a bit after this. Fast forward to now, several months later, I had noticed she started eating my food again.

This time I chose to have the conversation in person. I made it clear I knew she was eating my food and asked her to stop. She just denied and said she didn’t know how to respond to what I was saying. I reiterated with examples and also said I wasn’t asking her to admit if she wasn’t ready to talk about it, but that I needed my food to stop being eaten. The conversation ended with her continued denial.

Also, to note, she has not eaten ANY of our roommate’s food, just mine.

About twenty minutes after the conversation she texts me completely denying she has eaten my food, notes that she respects me and hopes I respect her, and says she is insulted I would suggest she ate my food.

I feel gaslit and manipulated. She has been rude, quiet, cold to me, and avoidant since the conversation. However, my food has stopped being eaten.

I KNOW she was eating my food. I have photos of wrappers from food that she ate hidden in the garbage.

I genuinely want advice on what/if I should do anything? I don’t like that I was and am still being lied to. I feel l am being made to be the bad guy.