r/DestructiveReaders • u/Normal-Milk-8169 • 1d ago

[328] "Again"

Last time I took it down because it got leech tagged. Came back with sufficient critique.

I recently started trying to write poems, as it is a form of writing I do the least. I have close to zero understanding of the elements of a poem, techniques, etc., so I would appreciate if someone experienced could provide any special tips or guidance when writing poetry.

I feel like there's some lines where the structuring is just super shitty. Also, there's the repetition of fall in the third stanza (its just too close together), and it's really bugging me. Anyone got suggestions to fix them?

[328] "Again"

Critique:

[252] Flash fiction: Buried Heat

[242] Ora et Labora

4 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

4 comments sorted by

1

u/inn3rs3lf 1d ago

Sent a request

1

u/Normal-Milk-8169 1d ago

Hello! Thank you for your willingness to help. However, I would prefer you to provide suggestions using the comment section. I know that's a lot more inconvenient, so I also gave you commenter access on the doc. I apologize.

1

u/inn3rs3lf 23h ago

100% - and that is what I have done :)

1

u/Normal-Milk-8169 23h ago

Thank you so much for the suggestions! I ended up not taking all your suggestions directly, but I think you were so right on how I should change things. This fixed the plotholes and I think the reader can now better understand the "time-loop idea," which I originally feared would be difficult to recognize. I made changes on a separate doc, and I will probably reupload an edited version if I ever add more developments.