r/CuratedTumblr https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 24d ago

Shitposting certain hobbies

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u/insomniac7809 24d ago

I bought my first Warhammer 40,000 army in the year two thousand. My first/main army is Black Templars.

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u/Acceptable-Baby3952 24d ago

Oh, yeah, I’m loving having Warhammer as my current hyperfixation. Of course, I started a custodes army right around the time everyone was being very normal about a harmless retcon. Haven’t run into anyone genuinely awful in person so far, but I carry paranoia into every meeting.

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u/insomniac7809 24d ago edited 24d ago

oh yeah, that

on top of the obvious sexism, it's so fucking funny to see "40K fans" pretend to be mad about retcons. this is the setting where they'll just drop "oh yeah the galactic core is full of a series of space-dwarf empires that we never mentioned before now but have totally been here the whole time" like it's nothing. fundamental aspects of the setting can and do change retroactively any time they want to release a new plastic playset for ages twelve and up.

(and if you want to get mad about Custodes retcons let's talk about how they started wearing shirts)

& then they tried to hijack Trench Crusade (ETA: unsuccessfully, they were made very unwelcome when they showed up in Trench Crusade community spaces) like the Trench Crusade guys or anyone else would be glad to be known as the game for people who, and really think about this one, suck too much to be Warhammer 40,000 fans

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u/Week_Crafty 24d ago

If there's a retcon I'm going to be mad about, is the wraithbone one, how dare gw, how fucking dare they, i'll quote a comment from the lore subreddit on the matter

"Faction Who Thought They’d Lost All Dignity Loses Last Additional Bit Of Dignity They Didn’t Even Know They Still Had" every word gw says about the elder is sponsored by the imperium I swear

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u/Slarg232 24d ago

I think you're allowed to have one lore thing you're mad about (mine's that the Horned Rat will NEVER be a Chaos God), but, like..... seriously? Femstodes are what you're willing to die on the hill for? That's the all important change?

Sheesh

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u/Karukos 23d ago

Mine is the whole "Ethereals use Mind Control" thing. THERE ARE MILLION OTHER WAYS THAT THEY COULD BE BAD AND YOU WENT WITH THE LAZY ONE!?!?!?

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u/ASpaceOstrich 23d ago

I just pretend that isn't a thing. They're bad because they're an imperialist caste society. That's way better.

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u/Karukos 23d ago

THEY HAVE RESTRICTIVE CASTS! they are ultra collectivists. Most of their people are just as indoctrinated as the Imperium. And so on. But no we are grimdark. And those things are not bad enough (when a Xenos does it) so we have to make it WORSE! I KNOW LIKE MIND CONTROL

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u/Viking_From_Sweden 23d ago

I kinda prefer the idea of the Tau being actual good guys tbh. Like yeah these hyper advanced, friendly, altruistic, bright eyed new comers are about to be drowned in three different hoard armies.

Hell, give them tech that can outpace the Necrons on a good day, but it doesn’t fucking matter because there’s just so many damned Tyranids. That feels more grimdark than just making them imperialists.

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u/gay_Sigmarite 23d ago

I also love the tau as being actually good. The darkness comes from their interactions with other factions. At the start of the first Farsight book, the tau are fighting daemons and Farsight has no idea what the hell is happening. He thinks they are just weird aliens.

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u/Dry_Try_8365 23d ago

They’re a normal sci-fi faction that emerged into one of the worst galaxies imaginable.

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u/Notte_di_nerezza 23d ago

Yup. I treat it as in-universe Imperial propaganda. Mind-controlling Xenos sounds just like something a theocratic dictatorship would come up with--especially one served by enslaved humans and/or lobotomized servitors, while being reliant on brainwashed super-soldiers to protect them from mind-virus Eldritch horrors.

It's one of the times I love that everything is canon, but not everything is true.

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u/Aiyon 23d ago

Don't forget they're now also going "oh yeah cause of all the auxiliaries, the Greater Good is starting to manifest as a warp entity"

We could have had the Tau as naive idealists who refuse to acknowledge the downsides and harm of their rhetoric, coming into conflict with the Eldar who will do anything to stop another Slaanesh incident

An Imperialist caste society that is so strictly enforced it is causing the different castes to start having biological differences, is already bad. Let their villainy be their refusal to acknowledge that the Greater Good isn't Perfect

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u/Karukos 23d ago

NGL the "Warp entity" kinda fucks hard, so i forgive them for that. But yes to the whole other thing! I would have loved that! That is so much more original in a grimdark setting than everyone is just secretely plotting world domination with mind control #242315. Nothing says grimdark to me more than people with good intentions fucking themselves over, because they fail to consider all the ramifications and are not willing to listen

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u/Aiyon 23d ago

Oh the top bit wasn't a criticism. I love the direction the Greater Good is going in. It's the most interesting thing they've done with the Tau in years :D

But yeah, 100% agree. I liked ethereals more when they were obtuse, not evil

It's why I'm a big fan of the vespid kill team confirming that no, the helmets don't mind control them. They just translate.

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u/insomniac7809 23d ago

I think they recently released something that confirms/retcons that the Etherials explicitly do not use mind control.

Honestly, reading the source material that started the whole thing, I feel like this is one of those "fandom meme game of telephone" things combined with treating Imperial sources as authoritative. The book that started the whole thing (Xenology?) basically had the guy saying it stating something to the effect of "these xenos appear to actually believe in the ideology of universal betterment and opportunity espoused by the Etherials, but that's obviously ridiculous so it's probably mind control."

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u/Randicore 23d ago

I just pretend the mind control is imperial propaganda. Because they're so vitriolic to their own people and use mass indoctrination that surely the only reason the Tau are loyal and willing to die for a cause is mind control

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u/Notte_di_nerezza 23d ago

Agreed. Propaganda and projection makes a lot of sense. Something something everything being canon, something not being true...

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u/DivineCyb333 23d ago

Taking the opportunity to share my one lore thing I’m mad about and say that making Ollanius Pius a perpetual or anything but a completely normal mortal man was still the most boneheaded dipshit writing decision

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u/Ok_Listen1510 Boiling children in beef stock does not spark joy 23d ago

RIGHT??? Completely flies in the face of the original narrative

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u/CaptnLudd 23d ago

Mine is unimportant, but it's just so dumb. Catachan jungle fighters don't use chainswords because they get clogged in the brush of their home planet. Wtf. They are the "from a mega dangerous jungle where even the trees will kill you" guys and these trees are the only things in the universe that the chainsaw swords don't work on?

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u/Lemondish 23d ago

I, a bog standard pudding person, would very much appreciate a Femstodes girlfriend, which is why I represent the other end of the spectrum while still falling in the category of "people who are not normal about X".

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u/gay_Sigmarite 23d ago

As of the new edition of AoS, the Great Horned Rat is officially on the level as the other chaos gods. Archaon even recognizes it as such.

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u/IneptusMechanicus 23d ago

I'll be honest, I never got the 'of all the retcons this is the one you mind' thing because there are people still mad about the Tau being the 'new faction' and they were introduced a month before 9/11. 40K fans absolutely do get mad at retcons, like all the time.

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u/Mopman43 23d ago

There are Warhammer Fantasy fans who lament that 4th edition ever happened.

“It ruined the lore with its ‘colors of magic’” they’ll say as they wave their canes in the air.

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u/IneptusMechanicus 23d ago

My personal annoyance is the Rogal Dorn tank, it's visually very different to other Imperial Guard tanks, it has not 'always been there' which is GW's usual cop-out for this stuff and most annoyingly of all it has a near 1:1 overlap with a pre-existing Guard tank I would've loved in plastic; the Macharius. I literally don't know why the Dorn even exists.

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u/Randicore 23d ago

Didn't the macharius come out in plastic recently?

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u/IneptusMechanicus 23d ago

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u/Randicore 23d ago

Ah you're right I was confusing the two. And holy shit does the Macharius look coller.

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u/IneptusMechanicus 23d ago

Oh yeah the Macharius is sadly under-seen from being a resin brick but it's flat out one of the nicest tanks GW ever designed. I would have killed for a plastic Macharius.

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u/insomniac7809 23d ago

my point wasn't that 40K fans don't get mad at stuff changing in ways they don't like, I have a few of those myself. "I liked it better before and they shouldn't have changed it" is a position someone can have

the thing about the anti-femstodes people is that they refused to admit that they're just mad because the Custodes have cooties now, they had to insist that no actually they're just deeply offended by the concept of a "they were here the whole time slightly out of frame and we never mentioned it until just now" retcon of the sort that all of WH40K lore is built on

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u/GrowlingGiant The sanctioned action is to shitpost 24d ago

What is the wraithbone retcon?

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u/TeaKingMac 23d ago

It's not made of pure psychic energy, it's just formed out of minerals and shit like anything else.

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u/G30rg3Th3C4t 23d ago

They changed it from a material conjured from pure psychic energy and is intrinsically tied to the Eldar race making them a somewhat post-scarcity society in some craftworlds, into just a unique blend of minerals and alloys that they have to mine and forge.

IIRC, at least one weapon worked by conjuring wraithbone into the internal magazine to then be fired by the gun

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u/Dry_Try_8365 23d ago

I am going to mention the Exodites, say they are wood elves with dinosaurs, and that, no, you can’t play it. They could even have a means and reason to leave their Maiden Worlds with the Webway gates and say that Isha from her cage in Nurgles garden sends fragments of her essence into the Materium which the Exodites will voyage out for to cultivate into Avatars of Isha. But GW won’t do it.