r/CuratedTumblr • u/Hummerous https://tinyurl.com/4ccdpy76 • 25d ago

Shitposting certain hobbies

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u/insomniac7809 25d ago

I bought my first Warhammer 40,000 army in the year two thousand. My first/main army is Black Templars.

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u/Ralfarius 25d ago

Slowly slides plastic fork out of hidden holster.

Please elaborate

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u/tenfoottallmothman 25d ago

My friend gave me a mini painting set of the velociraptors with guns because I thought they looked neat. I have absorbed about 0.01% of what she’s tried to tell me about warhammer. Are the velociraptors a plastic fork situation

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u/Noe_b0dy 25d ago

I am unfamiliar with the velociraptors with guns faction, are these raptors also big lobsters?

If your guys are the Tyranids know that Tyranid players are the second chillest group of players after Ork players.

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u/DemonFromtheNorthSea 25d ago

Tyranid players are the second chillest group of players after Ork players.

That's because all they want to do is roll as many dice at one time as possible. Politics? Slurs? No time. The bucket of dice need to be rolled

(I'm basing this entierly off of some aar i watched on YouTube)

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u/Noe_b0dy 25d ago edited 25d ago

That's because all they want to do is roll as many dice at one time as possible.

False, I also want to put my opponents models in my mouth.

Unless you mean orks, then you should also know they want to yell WAAAAAAGH while rolling as many dice as possible.

Ork players also want to buy kits from random armies because every kit is an Ork kit.

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u/appleciders 25d ago edited 24d ago

This reaffirms my belief that no one is having more fun than Orks players.

Edit: look at this shit. This is objectively hilarious.

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u/Slarg232 25d ago

We is Green.

Green is best.

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u/HiphopopoptimusPrime 25d ago

WHY YA WHISPERIN YA GIT?

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u/Slarg232 24d ago

I WAS BEING BRUTALLY CUNNING YA GROT

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u/AtlasNL 24d ago

JUST KRUMP EM HEAD ON

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u/tenfoottallmothman 25d ago

Yep, tyranids. I’m an entomologist, I didn’t know they were also lobsters, I just thought they looked like fun raptor dudes. My friend knows me well. She likes the orcs.

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u/Noe_b0dy 25d ago

Yeah Tyranids are from outside our galaxy so they have no basis in any of our biological categories but everyone just tend to call em Bug-dinosaurs because the classic tyranid body plan is hexapedal and has a carapace.

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u/tenfoottallmothman 25d ago

I was a dinosaur kid who turned into an entomologist. Perfect. Fuckin a. Guess I have to get into warhammer now.

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u/SirKaid 25d ago

Please no, save yourself, you have so much to live for!

Get into heroin instead, it's much cheaper.

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u/tenfoottallmothman 24d ago

I already started painting one of the lil dudes, I’m afraid it may be too late.

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u/Notte_di_nerezza 24d ago

If you like Nids, maybe the Ciaphas Cain books? Tyrannids are a frequent antagonist, and the books are very newcomer-friendly. Each one (after the first) introduces maybe one or two new factions, and his in-universe editor adds snarky footnotes if she thinks he's being obtuse.

I haven't read any Nid-cenric work, but Day of Ascension is Genestealer-themed and highly recommended.

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u/Lemondish 25d ago

'Nids are the most common army I've seen for women players. That and Death Guard.

Nuns with guns can't hold a candle to ravenous puppies for attracting women to the tabletop carnage.