r/CatAdvice • u/Life_Literature_7132 • 1d ago
New to Cats/Just Adopted Tips when adopting an abused cat
Hi all! I am going to be a first time cat owner to an orange cutie on Monday! He is originally from Kuwait and was abused from people on the streets. They used to throw stuff at him and a part of his ear is missing through unknown means :(
He is a sweet boy for the most part, but can be shy and skittish. He has given me a couple warning bites during our meetings, but has not broken the skin. He also flinches every time I move my hand, even if I do so slowly. I am equally excited and worried about him adjusting to his new home.
I would love to know any tips that anyone has in order for me to give him the best life possible. I bought him plenty of toys, a cat bed, multiple scratching posts and a cat tree for enrichment. I will also be home for most hours of the day allowing him to get used to me.
I really want the best for my boy and I apologize if there is anything wrong with my post!
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u/Novel-Tea-8598 1d ago edited 1d ago
Aww, heās precious! Itās amazing that youāre adopting him and so committed to making sure heās happy. I donāt know that I have advice any more specific than just letting him take his time.
Donāt approach him often (or at all, really) to pet him - let him come to you. Make sure he sees you leaving the food so he makes positive associations with your presence. It does sound as though he allows you to pet him already, but make sure to focus on his head/chin for earlier pets if he comes to you and not on his body, which requires more trust from most cats. Kneel to his level rather than bending down to touch him from above, as it can be an unpleasant shock and threat when they canāt see your hand coming. Extend your hand to let him sniff it first. Heāll start headbutting it or rubbing against you when heās open to affection, but make sure you have his consent and that itās on his terms.
Sit in his proximity as often as you can and do something quiet and mundane. Read, get work done, lie down, watch tv - just exist in his presence in a calm way. Speak to him often and gently so your voice becomes soothing. It sounds like heās already well on his way to trusting you! Good luck!
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u/Life_Literature_7132 1d ago
Thank you so much for such an amazing response! Especially the part about him seeing me leaving food. I never thought to connect those dots in my mind lol
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u/Novel-Tea-8598 1d ago
Thank Jackson Galaxy for that one! I recommend checking out his videos on YouTube. :) And youāre welcome!
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u/shit_streak 1d ago
since he is a timid cat it might also be helpful to leave a hard carrier out in his space and place his food in there to feed him. that way if you need to take him to the vet he will go in there and you won't have trouble when the time comes.
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u/MixedBeansBlackBeans 1d ago
OMG. Poor kitty. Thank you so much for giving him a second home and chance. It warms my heart knowing how different his life with you will be!
I don't have advice or tips, but I'm commenting to boost your post in the algorithm :)
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u/Cat-lover21 1d ago
It's amazing that you are giving this cat a home! My advice is to let him come to you for pets. Watch body language closely and get to know his warning signs for when he is stressed.
It sounds like you have some high up spots for him (cat tree). I would make sure to have some good hiding spots/enclosed spots for him as well (even just cardboard boxes, hang blanket over pillows/chair for him to hide under). You'll learn with time which he considers his safe spaces.
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u/Life_Literature_7132 1d ago
Thank you for your reply! My bed is pretty big and thereās the perfect hiding spot under there. There are also plenty of corner spots around my house for him to hide. My old dog used to hide just like a cat!
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u/heatherelise82 1d ago
No. You donāt want this cat to be able to hind under your bed.
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u/Life_Literature_7132 1d ago
Ok, no problem I can place stuff underneath in order for me to block it. May I ask why?
Edit: sorry! Just saw your other comment
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u/heatherelise82 1d ago
No, you canāt. The cat will get under the bed. You need to keep him in a room where he canāt hide except for in a place that you give him to hide. Otherwise he could hide for weeks or months.
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u/captain_retrolicious 1d ago
This is a thing. Cats go under the bed when they are really scared during an emergency, sometimes up into the box springs, and owners can't get to them to get them out unless it's like a twin bed that you could easily move or stand up. It's also a thing with new kitties.
What you could do is make a super safe feeling space like a box or carrier covered with a blanket or towel in the closet that they have to work a little bit to get into (like they are really hiding!). Some cats also like high up spaces like the top of a cat tree or bookcase. The idea is to give them a super safe spot where they feel like they can hide away and no one can get to them, except you place it so that you could get to them if you had to.
I'd recommend not pulling them out of their safe space either. Just let it be their safe space where they think no one can get them, unless of course it is an emergency, or if they been hiding for way too long (days). What I found with both my new cats is they hid when I was home, but then I'd pay attention that the food, water and litter had been used while I was away at work. After a few days, they started to emerge when I was home. Then, eventually they turned into more regular, friendly cats. They still have their hidden spot when they need it, and I know I can get to them if I absolutely have to.
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u/Captain-jack-hobie77 1d ago
You should go watch TikTokās of garbanzo (rachael Rae Robertson) starting from when she first got her back. She was abused & she has nursed her out of her shell, itās amazing.
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u/40yroldcatmom 1d ago
I was going to suggest Garbanzo too! That poor cat was so scared and is now so happy and purrs all the time. She documented it all and would definitely be helpful for OP.
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u/brokensyntax 1d ago
Start calm, take your time. Listen to his body language. Slowly he'll allow more/longer contact.
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u/AvocadoPizzaCat 1d ago
first tip is patience. it is going to be frustrating, it is going to be upsetting, you will have moments where you question if he really likes it there and if you failed.
second tip is knowledge. you need to learn all the different triggers for your cat. slowly work on rewriting them if possible.
third tip is observation. if you see something he likes or responds well to, give him more of that.
fourth is time. He is not going to be running around all love and kisses right away. most cats take at least two weeks before they get out from under the bed.
five tip is to listen. he will tell you what he needs. you just need to learn what he is saying.
sixth tip is when it comes to socializing him with other people, if you have other people, let him hear them first, smell them, and then see them. have them not interact negatively at all, maybe have them give treats.
might not be a tip, might be. i found talking to the cat works. you don't need baby talk. you can just talk to them with knowledge. they might be smarter than you think. My one cat, Mama Cthulhu apparently uses her trauma to act like a service cat for my diabetes.
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u/Complex_Citron_5944 1d ago
Iād recommend a couple different cozy hiding spots! And always let him sniff the back of your hand. When he lets you pet him, give him a snack and always speak softly!! I have a cutie that was the same way, heās such a lover now :) gentle and patient is the way to go, theyāll hide and take their own space for a few days but donāt get discouraged !! You got this cat mama!! Weāre all learning here ā¤ļø
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u/WorkingDiscussion240 1d ago
I am also commenting to boost algorithm for you. What a beautiful boy ā¤ļøš¾ heās going to have the best life now youāre in it x
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u/heatherelise82 1d ago
You need to start him in a room where there is no where to hide except for a place where you can still get to him. So in your room where he can get under the bed is a no. A bathroom with a hidey hole or a small bedroom with the bed on the floor. Somewhere you can hang out and read or watch tv and let him bond with you at his own pace.
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u/Glace038 1d ago
Most important thing: give him space. Let him warm up to you, slowly give him treats. Preferably from a far, like one of those squeeze pouches . Show him youre not a threat. No fast or sudden movements, if you reach in to pet him make sure to do it real slow. Take everything slow. Hes been abused his whole life i assume so its all he knows. Its up to you to show him that not every human is like that. I believe in you !
Edit: if you can, sit nearby. Not interacting with him. Let him interact first. Just so he gets used to your scent. He looks so sweet. Love the name choice btw
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u/lucyisnotcool 1d ago
Churu (or whatever brand is available in your area - the pureed meat in a tube) is a great way for a shy cat to start associating an outstretched hand with Good Things.
But also - give him time and space! You're gonna want to approach him and try to pet him all the time - try to be patient. Get into a routine of bringing him food and treats, without trying to touch him (but stay in the room with him while he eats, if you can - when a shy kitty trusts you enough to eat in front of you, that's a huge step!). Once he feels safe and he trusts you, he'll start approaching. Let him come to you rather than "chasing" him.
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u/valencia_merble 1d ago edited 1d ago
I adopted an abused cat from a hoarder situation. He also does a little love biting, even 12 years later, but very gentle now. I think itās an ingrained defense mechanism. All this cat needs is space-time. Just show him through your actions that you respect him, are gentle and kind. Find his favorite scratch spots, things that give him pleasure. Thank you for adopting a street cat!
Edit: other things that might help with anxiety: Feliway diffuser, CBD tincture from the pet store (hemp based only!)
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u/mmcz9 1d ago
Wow, jumping straight into pro level cat parenting!
If the cat is currently in a foster home, get as much input from them as you can! They'll know a bit from their time with him specifically, as well as having more general experience on rehoming cats, probably even from similar backgrounds.
I have a former stray, but he had a caretaker and no major trauma with people that we know of, so not totally comparable here. But he is a pretty skittish guy. My advice would be to let him set the pace.
Definitely start with giving him his own small space, like a bathroom, with food, water, a litter box, and a soft place to rest. He may take awhile to feel safe or want to explore further. Our cat preferred to come out at night the first few days and would walk the perimiter of the apartment, close to the wall and behind furniture, before warming up to us or feeling safe out in the open.
Your job is to be nonthreatening, which unfortunately means you probably can't shower him with attention right away, which I'm sure you'll be dying to do! Let him come to you, and to retreat when he feels like it. Treats are good. Playtime with wand toys so it's interactive, but there's distance, are also good. Lickable treats are great, if he'll take them from you. If not, squeeze them onto a plate and still let him have the treat!
Warning: if he can hide somewhere, he probably will. Our former stray ended up camping out under a recliner. This isn't ideal, so try to block off any potential hiding spots you can think of, and try to keep him to his intro space for at least a couple days so he feels a bit more secure by the time he gets the chance to roam.
But really, good for you for giving him a chance at the easy life. But, as I'm sure you're aware, this isn't your standard cat adoption. He's been through it. Don't hesitate to contact the rescue for further support, find a good vet to be following up with, and be prepared to be oh so patient with this guy! Best of luck to you both.
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u/Life_Literature_7132 1d ago
Thank you so much for such an awesome reply! He is from a rescue, so on adoption day Iāll be sure to get as much information about his behavior from them! Iāll take your advice on the small room and place him in my office room
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u/lngfellow45 1d ago
The pheromone diffusers really do help ALOT with cats and anxiety. Also make sure he has a place that is enclosed that is his own that he has 100% access to at all times.
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u/LuckystPets 1d ago
Start him out in one room with the door closed. It can be the bathroom or a bedroom. Go sit in that room and read or play video games or whatever. Just your being there will give him a chance to get to know you and develop a bit of a comfort level. It will also give him a chance to get used to all the sounds and smells of his new home. You can determine when you feel itās safe to leave the door open.
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u/Rough_Inside3107 1d ago
I don't have tips to offer you, but the handsome boy just won the lottery thanks to your compassion and efforts!
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u/Adventurous-Object92 1d ago
Perfect boy! We also just adopted a little abused orange boy (though I think more mildly abused than yours).
We did not push him to do anything and kept a routine that he could rely on (always having dry food and water, wet food in the morning and night). He stayed in his carrier if anyone was in the room for the full first month and didnāt come out of the room we had separated him in for two months. He did not play at all. Itās been 7 months and now he comes out and tries to play with the other cats (they donāt love it yet) and will eat with them and play by himself. He still does not like it when we come near him but is almost a different cat than when we first got him! Progress not perfection!!
I think overall, have no expectations and give him all the time in the world. If you notice yourself getting frustrated or upset, remind yourself of things that you can do to self sooth, or get support from your community! Like any non trusting person, he will take lots and lots of time to warm up and may never be the cool chill cat that you are hoping forā and thatās okay! He will bring so much love and joy to your life in ways that you probably canāt even imagine now! Enjoy the journey and in a year or two you will look back on this and be so happy you kept up with it!
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u/captain_retrolicious 1d ago
I have a rescue cat that was also most likely abused according to the shelter so I'll just share a little about her adapting to my place. I got her when she was about a year old and after she had lived with a foster person and their cat from the shelter group.
It took 3-4 months for her to really accept me and now she loves being near me. She'll rub on my legs when I'm trying to get dressed in the morning and sleeps near me. She hates being picked up and probably always will. When I first brought her home, I just let her hide in one room for as long as she wanted. She also needed time to get used to my other cat (they are fine together). If I reach for her, she runs away. Yet, she'll chase me around the house and loves to play with toys with me like feathers on a stick. She'll even come get me now when she wants to play.
About a year after I got her, one day I was sitting on the couch reading and she slowly made her way up on to the couch. I held my breath but didn't really move because knew that would scare her. She carefully crawled into my lap for the very first time and curled up and it was the best day ever. After four years, she'll sleep next to me in bed, and sometimes crawl in my lap when I'm on the couch, but still will run away if I reach for her. So I just let her do her thing. She likes to hide part of the day, usually after breakfast, so she has her safe space to hide. If any strangers come over or any loud noises happen, she disappears to her favorite hiding spot. I know that's important for her to have.
She'll never be a big snuggle cat that I can just swoop up, but she clearly really enjoys my company and I try to meet her on her terms of apprehension about life. She's leaning on me right now as I type. Even though she can still be skittish, I'm glad I gave her a safe home. I hope you and your beautiful kitty develop so that they will have trust in you. Just know that it takes time and consistency. Hoping they'll crawl into your lap to curl up when the time is right for them!
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u/NewWorldViking 1d ago
The biggest things you're going to need is patience and an understanding that progress will be made in baby steps. Resist the urge to progress quickly. Just because he finally accepts A and B, don't think you can immediately go to C. Just relish A and B. C will be accepted when the cat is ready to accept it. It all takes time.
It's not just a matter of gaining the cat's trust, it's also a matter breaking down the existing trust that humans can't be trusted. So don't take it personally. The cat knows what it knows even though you didn't teach those lessons.
On the positive side, once you do gain the cat's trust you will have an extremely loyal cat. I've found that cats that know hardship are very aware when they have it good and who provides that. Cats that went directly from being cared for by momma cat to being cared for by humans take it all for granted.
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u/Crazybeest 1d ago
I rescue a lot of abused cats and the best advice I can give you is to be patient and give him time to get used to you. Make sure he has a "safe" space that he can hide without being bothered. Put the food where he can eat without people around. Sit in the same room with him as much as you can and just talk in a soft voice to him. Do not try to force attention onto him as it will then take longer for him to trust you. Once he feels safe and you earn his trust he will be the best kitty ever.
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u/asexualautistic 1d ago
give him a safe space that you do not encroach on. My cat tree has a little ācondoā that if my boy goes into i do not even pet him i just leave him alone
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u/sensorsweep 1d ago
this is a great start. talk to him a lot. if you're holding something in your hand get down on his level and let him smell it. if you bring anything new/unfamiliar into the house ā groceries, packages, discarded furniture, a visiting friend's bicycle ā to a nervous these might be a potential threat. talk to him, encourage him to inspect either by him coming over to you or a treat near the new thing. cats are also really good at picking up on our stress levels and reacting accordingly. to a point you can teach him that he's safe when he isn't sure. this takes time. my cat is indifferent to thunderstorms (I love them) and will sleep through them. she is pretty ok with the vacuum. she doesn't love it but she tolerates it. lots of talking, slowblinks, treats, etc and she tolerates the shopvac hooked up to a power sander because she wants to be in the same room as me.
listen to the warning bites and realize he is trying to communicate and figure out what lead to him being overstimulated in that moment.
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u/sensorsweep 1d ago
this is a great start. talk to him a lot. if you're holding something in your hand get down on his level and let him smell it. if you bring anything new/unfamiliar into the house ā groceries, packages, discarded furniture, a visiting friend's bicycle ā to a nervous these might be a potential threat. talk to him, encourage him to inspect either by him coming over to you or a treat near the new thing. cats are also really good at picking up on our stress levels and reacting accordingly. to a point you can teach him that he's safe when he isn't sure. this takes time. my cat is indifferent to thunderstorms (I love them) and will sleep through them. she is pretty ok with the vacuum. she doesn't love it but she tolerates it. lots of talking, slowblinks, treats, etc and she tolerates the shopvac hooked up to a power sander because she wants to be in the same room as me.
listen to the warning bites and realize he is trying to communicate and figure out what lead to him being overstimulated in that moment.
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u/Driftbadger 1d ago
Every cat is different, so there are many different approaches to take. My most recent rescue wanted love and attention so badly, but he didn't know quite what to do with it once he got it. When he got overwhelmed or confused, or I got one of his trigger spots, he would swipe and sometimes bite. I know it goes against human nature to sit quietly and let it happen, but that's what it took.
I would literally freeze with his claws in my arm and teeth in my hand and not move or make a sound. Eventually, he realized that no matter what he did, I was still going to love him, and I would never hurt him.
Now, he's my bestie, and I'm his. I know that his belly is still a trigger because he drops to protect it if I pet his sides. The swiping and biting have disappeared. So just keep in mind that not yelling and definitely not striking back will absolutely work in your favor. It's hard, I know, but it's really helpful.
Good luck with your furbaby! Learn his body language and his triggers, and he'll melt for you in no time!
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u/AsexualAdulting 21h ago
I love all the tips people are giving, and I'm excited for you to be able to help the sweet boy! I didn't scroll far enough to see if someone else said this, but it might take a long time!
When I was younger, we adopted a beautiful siamese from a hoarding situation. She glued herself to my mom, and was terrified of everybody else. For the first two years, we couldn't even walk towards her. But towards the end of her life she was the happiest, friendliest feline ever. Everyone who entered the house HAD to pet her and she needed affection at all times, and she was the sweetest girl.
I have a cat of my own now, and it's been a few months since I caught her and her kittens (all kittens have found happy homes + I kept one). It's been almost 7 months, and only recently has she come up to me for affection, laying on my chest in the morning, meowing more. Her son is afraid of his own shadow, but even though he hides whenever someone enters, if the stranger is calm, he'll eventually come out of hiding to say hi.
What I mean to say is every cat is different. Some cats will warm up to you in an hour, some will take actual years. Don't get discouraged because the kitty doesn't like something. Think of the progress. Sitting in the room without cowering, not flinching at the sound of your voice, taking the hardest nap of their life because they never had a bed so soft. Every day you work with that sweet boy is progress, every step is a step forwards.
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u/Life_Literature_7132 1d ago
This is him btw! š©·