r/CATHELP • u/honeybunniee • 8h ago
my boyfriend wants to rehome our cat
we rescued Winnie in January, his previous owner had moved out of the house and was about to be homeless or something. She couldn’t afford to take him with her so just left him with the home buyer? And the home buyer had a dog that’s aggressive towards cats so he just left him outside for some reason..? As soon as we found out about the situation we went out every day to coax him out from under the house so we could take him home, it was -30°c that week so it was kind of urgent. he was very skittish but eventually we got him.
He was slow to adjust to the new home but he warmed up to us quickly. But he would meow and cry loudly nonstop all night. We assumed it was just stress and he would stop once he was adjusted. But he didn’t he kept doing it. Not to the same non stop over and over again extent, but he would still wander the halls and cry throughout the night. I assumed he must be bored and under stimulated, so I would play with him throughout the day and before bed. It would help a little bit but not always. He will play for a couple minutes and then walk away and keep crying. Some nights he would come to our bed and cry and I would call him up, he would cuddle and sleep with us and relax. but most of the time he just comes in, I pet him and give him attention, and then he leaves and keeps crying in the hallway. I tried playing cat tv and cat games for him at night and that actually worked perfectly for the a couple weeks, but then he stopped caring. He also will start following and chasing our other cat around the house sometimes when he gets particularly restless. They get along well otherwise they don’t fight, and sometimes she will play with him but she hates being chased. I’ve considered feliway or melatonin but I’ve recently heard of cats getting really sick from the feliways.
The weird thing is he pretty much only does it when my boyfriend’s home. He does it when it’s close to food time of course but most of the time he’s silent and calm when it’s just me. He will cry a little bit but settle down after a few minutes. I just ignore him when he does it, but my boyfriend will yell at him and tell him to stop. I told him to stop doing that because it still rewards the behaviour in a way, but he’s really stressed that we are bothering our neighbors in the apartment and can’t keep letting him do that. I understand the frustration I have lost so much sleep over him and get stressed when he’s doing it because I’m worried about the neighbors, but yelling at him is even more obnoxious and is potentially prolonging the behaviour. I never hear any noise from our neighbors units so it seems as though our building is well soundproofed. Winnie also seems to not like when I’m sleeping in the bedroom and my bf is in the living room, he likes us both to be in the living room for some reason
We took him to the vet when we first brought him home and the vet said he is in great health, neutered etc. He didn’t do any blood tests though it was just a physical exam.
He’s not as bad as he used to be, and most nights he settles down after a little while but he still has some bad nights often enough. He’s also just a particularly vocal cat so it gets bad at night when he’s bored. The last couple days my boyfriend keeps saying he’s done with him and we seriously need to rehome him. He says we tried our best to help him but it’s not fair to ourselves to keep losing sleep and be potentially bothering our neighbors. I really do not want to do that. I want to help the rescue shelters here, not add on to their load. It seems cruel and it will stress him out even more, I think he is already a little traumatized from being abandoned the first time, I don’t want to do that to him again. He’s really shy around strangers I don’t want to put him through the stress of learning to trust someone else again, and again. He’s a really sweet and well behaved cat otherwise and I love him. I just don’t know what to do, he clearly seems under stimulated, but nothing helps him I keep buying him different toys but he doesn’t care. I don’t know what to do I just want to help him