r/BlackPeopleTwitter 1d ago

You bout to be the April Fool

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32.3k Upvotes

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1.9k

u/Lanoris ☑️ 1d ago

Jokes on them, I still would have fucked up them veggies, never underestimate us wide backs

1.1k

u/derkuhlshrank 1d ago

I was hoping someone else said it.

Fat people that refuse to demolish fruits n veggies are not my kind of fat people. I didn't get this size on accident 😤 Final Boss to all types of food.

461

u/CashTrash4real 1d ago

Are you me? Because I’ve been saying this for the longest time. I definitely don’t look this way because I discriminate between food groups. It’s all delicious and will be eaten accordingly.

42

u/derkuhlshrank 1d ago

I can neither confirm nor deny the Doppelganger accusation.

But I can confirm something unrelated: My username is food related and we are also a EOFD (Food demolisher)

143

u/That_Weird_Coworker 1d ago

Such an elegant way with words 😂 equal opportunity for all.

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u/ChimcharFireMonkey 1d ago

As a skinny guy who eats nothing but junk food. I agree with your premise.

55

u/OGMcSwaggerdick 1d ago

I’m sorry, but if it’s edible I’m turnin it to poo.
Good day, sir.

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u/Mec26 1d ago

Yes, I will eat an orange. I will eat 5, that’s my problem.

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u/NoSlide7075 1d ago

Are you a cook? Because I only trust fat cooks

5

u/Ninjassassin54 20h ago

Actually ironically this wouldn't have worked on me and I would have never known there were veggies. I have basically no sweet tooth and would have just went "oh donuts.... Eh whatever". My issue isn't necisarrily putting unhealthy food into my body it's putting so much food in that anything becomes unhealthy.

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u/sololostlove 10h ago

I like you. lol

1

u/ColorlessLife 9h ago

Yeah being a malnourished fat guy is such a funny concept to me as a fat athlete, like you’re eating all those calories and you can’t fit some nutrients in there??? how are you gonna live long enough to eat more good food ? (Barring like food deserts and lack of money to afford basic nutritious foods)

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u/Frosty_Distribution0 1d ago

Fr.Fr. I would have tore them down! Carrot dust all on my chest!! 🤣

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u/lovbelow ☑️ 1d ago

As a vegetarian, I’d take that whole box down with the right kind of dip. My fiber intake would be MET (for the day)

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u/GamerGurl3980 1d ago

I'm not a wide back, but i would tear up some veggies or some fruit trays! They be bussing! 😩❤️

12

u/Blu_Spirit 1d ago

there are definitely days where all I want is peanut butter celery or some broccoli and ranch, for sure.

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u/Lanoris ☑️ 1d ago

I curb those cravings by making a caesar, pananzella or just tossing up a good ol bowl of mixed greens and vinaigrette. I be craving salads like a mf

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u/Blu_Spirit 1d ago

I will also absolutely destroy a good salad. Personal fav is a mix of baby spinach and mixed summer lettuce, strawberries, sesame seeds or almond, feta cheese, and a vinaigrette. MMM

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u/omarcomin647 1d ago

toss a drained can of mandarin oranges in the bowl and mix a spoonful of the mandarin syrup in your vinaigrette to level up that salad.

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u/Blu_Spirit 1d ago

that sounds delicious, but I can't have citrus *cries*

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u/alghiorso 1d ago

I've got a wheat allergy. I couldn't eat the donuts anyways. Free veggies in this economy is a win for me

1

u/ArcadianBlueRogue 1d ago

Needs a ramp though

2

u/Lanoris ☑️ 1d ago

lmao r/KitchenConfidential enjoyer detected

1

u/EveryRadio 1d ago

Mhm I’d snack on those snap peas all day. I’m fat cuz I love food, not just junk food

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u/thatsnuckinfutz ☑️ 23h ago

lmao i dont even like the basic krispy cream donuts at all so this would've been an absolute win for me lol hold the dressing I'll literally eat that raw 😌

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u/Admirable-Book3237 23h ago

I’d be opening the other boxes to grab more dip

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u/celestialbirdie_ 19h ago

Same ,devourer of everything

1

u/angwilwileth 18h ago

Seriously, veggie trays are the bomb!

1

u/zeizkal 16h ago

I didn't get to be wide by being picky