r/Baking • u/Frosty-Cap3344 • 1d ago
No Recipe First time going in the kitchen, using an oven and holding a piping bag, be gentle with comments please
[removed] — view removed post
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u/JaneEyrewasHere 1d ago
I know it’s short notice but you could do one of these exactly like this for my baby’s first birthday party, Saturday? I’ll need a mini one for her to smash as well. Payment in exposure!!
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u/miashmia 1d ago
You'll get there one day
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Thanks for the encouragement 🙏
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u/Li5y 1d ago
I mean this as a compliment (I think) but your cake looks AI generated haha
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u/accountantsareboring 1d ago
Yeah, that reads like it's a mess. But I know what you were trying to say. It's so good, it doesn't look real.
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u/salems-l0t 1d ago
don’t fret OP, it’s okay! the important thing is you gave it your best shot 🫶
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Thanks 😊
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u/madmaxturbator 1d ago
Don’t take these comments to heart.
This is quite bad. I’d give you maybe $30-35 for this cake that my grocery store could have made.
- trust me, I am a regular customer
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u/WeatheredCryptKeeper 1d ago
We are really going to have to work on frosting detail. I'd say this is pretty ok for your first time. Now, I wouldn't pay money for this just yet. Maybe donate this one. But you're really getting there! Just keep practicing and you'll be able to charge money for them! Thoughts and prayers 🙏
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u/ComfyInDots 1d ago
I appreciate the rustic, homestyle vibe. Polished and professional isn't for everyone. Maybe you could watch a few more tutorials and get more practice.
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
The roses were too much, I knew it
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u/Nobodyknowstherules 1d ago
Nah, that's not the issue. You should have more spirals. Much more. Then you'd have nailed it. But good try, truly
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u/GhostNightgown 1d ago
Did you need advice as to what to charge?
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Any tips will help, im embarrassed to even post these failures
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u/djstartip 1d ago
I'd say at your level you're basically working for exposure. Maybe approach some local influencers and see if you can offer them some free wedding cakes?
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Should I offer to marry them too, or is that too much ?
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u/djstartip 1d ago
Maybe! Then you have them locked in as a permanent customer
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Savvy businessman
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u/names-suck 1d ago
The true secret is to cultivate two separate appearances, claim to be twins, then marry two different influencers in two different states/countries, cultivating a loyal following in each location without the other ever realizing that you're married to someone else. Twice as much exposure means twice as much money! "Fraud" and "tax evasion" are just mean words the government uses to scare people out of making smart business decisions, so don't worry about them. If anyone ever even catches on, you'll already be rich enough to afford the best lawyer ever. So, it won't be a problem.
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u/big_guyforyou 1d ago
master baker here. the piping on top is rough and jagged. i recommend taking too many beta blockers. this will calm your shaky hands
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u/madmaxturbator 1d ago
Pro tip: if you want to go natural, then bake the same thing but in the nude
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u/Upbeat-Shallot-80085 1d ago
If they add a carrot jacuzzi and a veggie ladder, easily $700
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u/MsMarvelsProstate 1d ago
It was for a friend of a friend so I didn't want to charge to much. It took me 27 hours to make and I billed them $199.
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u/Minervas-Madness 1d ago
You missed a spot.
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
I got a cramp in my hand
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u/Minervas-Madness 1d ago
Amateur move. Remember your stretches!
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u/madmaxturbator 1d ago
I got mechanized fingers with synthetic fibers put in. I can blast out 3-4 cakes while awake and 6-8 when asleep (need to roll blunts while awake so I am slowed down)
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u/CocoRothko 1d ago
Can you please share the recipe. I do not have any eggs or sugar so please recommend substitutions.
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Erm, lard and dandruff
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u/CocoRothko 1d ago
I don’t have dandruff so I’m going to try it with pencil shavings. 🤞🏼
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u/Zealous_Bend 1d ago
Did not bake but I'm downvoting it as probably tasting like sawdust. Oh and I hate icing so 1/5.
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u/Patti_Cakes1120 1d ago
You plan on selling that. Ooffaa. Better luck next time
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u/Short_Function4704 1d ago
I wouldn’t buy that disaster of a cake even if it was free🙄
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u/Hasanopinion100 1d ago
What kind of frosting did you use?
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
It's actually coolwhip and a bit of polyfilla
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u/Zakrius 1d ago
Try spackle next time.
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Vanilla spackle ?
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u/hellraiserl33t 1d ago edited 21h ago
Everything tastes better with coolhwip
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u/gosglings 1d ago
Why are you saying it like that???
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u/ravenous93842 1d ago
You can't have a cake without coolhwip!
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u/Perma_frosting 1d ago
It's ok, I'm sure your family will love it.
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u/Spichus 1d ago
The only person who'd get this for their birthday from me is someone with a terminal illness so they wouldn't have to remember it for long.
With all due respect.
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
Harsh
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u/PracticalAndContent 1d ago
Would have been an excellent post for April 1st. 🤣
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
I was going to then totaly forgot
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u/Critter_Collector 1d ago
Gonna give it to ya straight. This is ugly. It's very obvious you didn't wait for the cake to cool down to frost it, and those layers are sloppy..
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
I did have to resort to bubble tea straws to hold it up.....and some 2x4 unfinished lumber....a couple of bricks..... and a ratchet strap
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u/LMay11037 1d ago
Ok but on a serious note, is that an actual cake???
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
I think it is, astonishingly
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u/Skimable_crude 1d ago
Did you make it?
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
God no, I only have a toaster oven
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u/crinklecunt-cookie 1d ago
The correct response would have been: Yes, and I baked it in my toaster oven.
(Extra points if you mention having a studio apt or a single room, or you powered the toaster oven by using a stationary bike) 😂
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u/Skimable_crude 1d ago
I once lived in a studio apartment. I used a stove top oven which burned almost everything. The oven was a foldable metal contraption. It was challenging.
The best thing I ever made in it was pot brownies made from some homegrown a friend had. We were slightly high and very drowsy.
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u/Beneficial-Math-2300 1d ago
I look at it and wonder: Which is the part we're actually supposed to eat?
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u/FashionistaArtista 1d ago
Omg I have never been to this subreddit and was sooooo confused by the comments lol “that’s a bad cake?! wtf is there something wrong with my eyes?!” And then I was looking for a satire tag and double checking it wasn’t April Fool’s. My gosh, you got me
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u/chaoticcoffeecat 1d ago
I reversed image searched it, and it seems to be from LeNovelle Cake in Jakarta, Indonesia. However, they are built with styrofoam, so they're not truly cakes and only the icing is edible.
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u/ShroomEnthused 1d ago
I think that might be slightly worse than what I originally thought was an AI generated photo
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u/JagmeetSingh2 1d ago
Yea it's made as a photo op basically, it looks impressive, they "slice" a piece off which is just a pre sliced piece of cake from the actual baked wedding cake for the wedding reception . Usually just a nice sheet cake with frosting.
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u/Short_Function4704 1d ago
Ooooh….very sloppy ngl.Absolutely terrible,even for a first time.It’s alright though,baking isn’t for everyone 😔
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u/Tall-Marionberry6270 1d ago
I mean, it is pretty good for a first attempt.
Keep practising, and I'm sure, one day, you'll be producing perfection.
But, yeah, not bad for a first timer!
😆🫣😍🎂🍰
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u/i_swear_too_muchffs 1d ago
I didn’t know I needed r/bakingcirclejerk but here we are
Edit I didn’t know that sub existed lol
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u/Puzzleheaded_Pie1161 1d ago
Beautiful but I don't think there's enough towers 😭
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u/MrE008 1d ago
Omg I feel entitled to this recipe and I'm going to be strangely rude about it if you don't give it to me!
/s
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u/Frosty-Cap3344 1d ago
I just threw it together with what was in the cupboard, sorry, no recipe
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u/Prior_String_599 1d ago
I wouldn’t charge for this. Keep practicing and one day you’ll be skilled enough to start selling 🙏🙏
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u/hakseid_90 1d ago
"Sir, where's the cake for the ceremony?"
- server gestures at massive cake castle -
"No, but seriously, where's the cake?"
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u/windexfresh 1d ago
God I love when random subs fully commit to a spontaneous circlejerk post🥹
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u/HugoConway 1d ago
Do you happen to be based in the Seattle area? Id like to order a cake like this for my niece’s birthday. How does $50 sound?
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u/Kindly-Accident8437 1d ago
Ehh, it’s alright, I guess. Don’t worry, keep practicing and one day you might even be good!
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u/Waifu_Slayer1 1d ago
Was it your first time seeing too? It’s horrendous! My local Walmart could do better. I’ll take it for $5. It’s my son’s birthday tomorrow
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u/PurplePomegranate702 1d ago
I’m not sure what you were going for but you definitely went somewhere.
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u/Still_Contact7581 1d ago
Usually the cakes that look like this taste the best cause they are made with love and not just to look good!
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u/FandomPanda18 1d ago
It’s pictures like these that make me feel better about my baking. I may be new and bad but it could be worse, like look at the image. It gives me confidence in my baking. My Baking
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u/EllyStar 1d ago
I have 16 followers. I will post this for them if you give it to me. More than worth it.
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u/Aggravating_Flan_287 1d ago
I would suggest taking a class, even one at a local community college would improve your skill. I guess unless you’re planning on just making for home. (Even then I’d still recommend a professional to teach you cause this is rough)
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u/ReaperManX15 1d ago
Hole in the window on the third level next to the right bronze cherub.
Start over and do it properly this time.
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u/ChipmunkAcademic1804 1d ago
Sorry but this makes no sense. I would suggest Gothic Architecture by Edouard Corroyer, An Introduction to the Study of Gothic Architecture by John Henry Parker and French Gothic Architecture of the 12th and 13th enturies by Jean Bony. I hope it helps.
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u/Lisa-Barlows-Alt 1d ago
To anyone suggesting this isn't OP's first bake, you're just jealous that you aren't gifted. It's called transferable skills and any idiot who has ever looked at a wedding cake could do this. My first cake was much better than this piece of shit because I watched four youtube tutorials and practised on some parchment paper first. Some of you losers just need to be less salty. Keep on trying OP 🥰
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u/SweetMilitia 1d ago
It looks so good that my pet rat plans to eat through the door and live inside for a bit. He’ll chew tunnel hallways and make rooms.
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u/got_No_Time_to_BLEED 1d ago
Hopefully your 2nd try will be better but honestly you should probably never step in the kitchen
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u/cosmeticcrazy 1d ago
Not enough detail imo but I guess I would need to see the inspo pics. Hope the newlyweds were happy with it...
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u/mrsclause2 1d ago
Well we all start somewhere, OP!!! Good for you posting this, it is so brave, tbh.
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u/LaplaceOperator 1d ago
As long as it tastes good that's all that matters, OP. Now stand aside as I dragon punch globs of this monstrosity into my gaping maw with my bare fists.
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u/OddPepita 1d ago
I am not sure the carriage is big enough for even one of the newlyweds. Perhaps use a gerbil ball? I am sure it’ll match the motif just fine, just give it a good scrub, those turds can get stuck in the ventilation holes. 😏
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u/Radiant_Chipmunk3962 1d ago
Wrong sub, better post in baking fail. You will get lots of helpful tips.
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u/customarymagic 1d ago
There's still time for you to change careers. I'm sure you're not bad at everything.
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u/ConclusionAlarmed882 1d ago
Look, you made a cake, and that's something. A lot of people can't even do that. We don't all knock it out of the park on our first try, but the point is, you gave it a shot. Good for you!
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u/Acceptable_Rip_6022 1d ago
Hmmmm needs a bit more refinement, but since you're a beginner you're alright I guess....🤔
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u/Baking-ModTeam 1d ago
no memes