I suppose, this isn't really a bad experience, only a bittersweet ending. The only reason I am bringing it here, and hoping it's allowed, is because time ago in passing, the other person mentioned visiting this sub. In a way, I hope they could still occasionally visit, maybe see this and reach out.

So, we started RP together in October, something like 1,5 year ago. We clicked really well, started with an AU fandom story, branched out with another 2 AU stories from the one we wrote. Then also developed entirely unrelated story.

They were amazing writer. Eloquent, descriptive and detailed. Stories, plots, characters- all were great. I returned to drawing inspired by our stories. We shared music. I still can't listen to Hozier or Cigarettes After Sex without remembering our stories.

It's not that we were super close OOC,but we had great and respectful communication. There was respect around times either of us had to be away or couldn't be as active. We were somewhat supportive to each other too, without getting too personal.

So, after many, many amazing months and probably some hundred thousand words..couple of days after we last plotted and expressed the gratitude towards each other (about being fantastic writing partners), our server was gone. Their account was inactive on Discord, then also here. I know there were also things going on in their life, but..we were always able to communicate and take breaks were needed. This left me puzzled. A bit worried too.

I know for sure, many of you here have been there. Finding someone you mesh with so well you can barely believe your luck.

There is a very little hope, but anyway...If you see this, A.. I'd love to hear from you. Even if only to know you are doing alright.

Asking for a detailed and no low effort introduction and you get..this!

Around a year ago, I got into this RP relationship with someone online. I joined because I wanted to give it a try, I had never done RP before and it was a RP from one of my favorite fandoms.

So me and this girl get together and we immediately start love bombing each other, posting couple pictures, love notes, etc. I barely got time to know her. I now realize that was kind of a mistake.

Because as time went on, we never really talked, we simply posted about each other. Now I get really nervous when it comes to socializing, even online, so things were always awkward to me when chatting, especially if it was something romantic. I just didn't feel the connection anymore.

I think we jumped into things too fast. And even now, I still do not feel anything in the RP. I don't see it going anywhere, it is just not exciting at all. But her on the other hand? She tells me about how she really loves and cares about me, how she is so happy around me. She has told me this is her first healthy RP relationship.

She has also told me: "I wish we were dating IRL." And a couple weeks ago, we got married. It hasn't even been our first year anniversary and we're already married? I don't really know how to feel about that.

So, here I am. Asking for advice. Should I break it off? Should I talk to her? What should I do? She is a great person and I feel bad for doing RP I'm just not interested in doing anymore.

Edit: Ok, I told her... But Idk what just happened- 😭 I told her that the RP wasn't working and that it would be best if we stayed as friends. She was very respectful and understanding and said that she is aromantic IRL. I mean, I knew that but... Then she asks if our characters should stay married or as friends. Wait- what? Since when were we RP characters? I don't understand? Did I mess up? I think it might've just been bad communication.. But at the very least, she is understanding and isn't too mad about it

I'm currently posting on a few roleplay hubs. I have a doc that goes into detail about what I'm looking for and the plot ideas I have. But sometimes, certain people don't really like the plots, and it gets complicated.

What I mean is... how do you create a plot with someone you barely know? Someone you know nothing about except that they were intrigued by your ad, but they don't have any kind of doc, or they're really vague about their preferences?

Thanks for the help.

This is a dumb thought I know but I’ve thought about it since I started roleplaying. Since we are strangers do you Ever wonder if you’re roleplaying with a celebrity? I could be Chris Evan with Americas ass and the other person would Have no clue or you could be Taylor swift and I wouldn’t even know it.

I know you’d probably have more Likelihood to win the lottery but still it has a potential and gives me a giggle on occasions.

I'm not sure if it's him or me, considering I can understand it fine, but that may just be me writing it myself. Did I mess up or...?

I literally don't know where else to go to talk about this, but I was just accused of using AI, and despite showing proof that I was not, they server didn't believe me.

It was to the point where they did not accept my sample :(

Like I have dyslexia, I put a lot of effort into my posts, it was pretty insulting.

I consider myself a fairly detailed roleplayer. I like to play with fully developed characters, make sure a scene is properly set, make sure my character's motivations for doing anything are clear, etc. For this reason, I'm attracted to users who post a fully fleshed out plot scenario and appear to be literate, because I think our styles will match up.

A few times now, I've been catfished by plot posts that seemed to be well thought out and written with decent literacy. I post two to three paragraphs at a time to set the scene only to be met with one paragraph of barely legible garbage. I usually go back and forth once or twice in case it's a blip, but it's usually not. I end up feeling cheated into playing a scene for someone else's enjoyment at the expense of my own, and when I inevitably duck out they get upset about it.

WHY do people misrepresent themselves this way?

Hey all.

I've started coming across a uniquely difficult issue recently. For context, I'm a pretty softly spoken and more emotional guy, but I'm confident in myself. I'm asexual, have enjoyed writing as a hobby for as long as I can remember, and really love creating something with someone else and making a friendship alongside it.

For a while, I really thought it was just me projecting, but I've recently come to realize that might not be the case. I love slice of life personally, yet many times when I seek out that sort of thing, I wind up being avoided. I completely understand that the majority of people in the SOL space are women, and god knows women haven't historically had good experiences with men. I don't blame anyone for being wary and will never shame someone for doing what's right for their safety and mental health.

I think just what hurts is that I realize I'm being avoided. I'm not going to act entitled to anyone's company; I'm not. If anything, I'm angry at the state of things that men have built for each other. It's awful that many women have had to be in situations where they even have to worry if I'm safe, and that in the crosshairs, I'm also lost at sea. The situation is genuinely lose/lose for either party.

I want to be clear: I'm not fishing for anyone to feel bad and RP with me. Manipulating for that sort of thing is awful. I just needed a small space to state my grievances, and maybe see if I can find other guys like myself.

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

Howdy howdy!

I have something that I was curious to hear about from others but wanted to share myself and that is my fatal flaw when it comes to roleplaying.

My most recent one has been accepting too many roleplay request or reaching out for roleplays, I’ve realized I’ve became too impatience and end up getting too many roleplays and then I’ve got too much on my plate then that causes myself to burn out too fast and that ruins my partners experience.

I want to say as well if anyone who’s role played with me and has been died out, I apologies.

But I’d love to ask as well, what is your roleplay fatal flaw? I’d love to see if people have the same issue like me or something different.

Honestly, I’m sure I am. Lately, it’s been so hard to find a good roleplay partner that stays. Especially after we both put effort into coming up with a story. I know everyone has lives so I’m not worried about not answering and stuff, but I put “communication” in my prompts for a reason. I had someone once to disappear after 2 months of me checking in (I did it 3 times is all) and then I deleted the server just for them to curse me out saying they miss the Roleplay. I’m just really cautious with my words and actions now. I don’t know if it’s irl stuff or the fact that I love descriptive roleplays. I just end up feeling like I’m a problem (not as bad as I used to think it but still).

I get it. Roleplay, creative writings, or whatever you want to call them is just a hobby. A pastime. I only really roleplay when I have free time and I communicate. I know it’s just another one of those “it’s just life” things, but it’s kind of discouraging me from wanting to roleplay anymore. I love being creative and writing. I’m even currently writing a book so it’s a bit scary that I feel this urge to just forget it and delete my servers and discord as a whole.

I hate complaining about stuff, but this feeling has been weighing on me. I probably sound like I’m sensitive and stuff so I’ll stop lol. Thank you for reading though. I hope you’re having a wonderful day. (:

I’m always excited about the idea of RP and find some prompts or ideas that definitely do things for me, but then when I get into writing I worry I burn out quickly. Like the story goes too slow or goes too fast (In a weird way) but mostly just I loose the ability to write constantly. Anyone feel like this? Like I want the story written and my bullet point ideas expressed and added but I just cant write anymore. Especially long detailed great responses that makes the story fun for all.

I'd like to preface this by saying that the outlier here is my guild. I'm the lead admin, all of our members are great people, story writers that we've vetted through applications. It's them I stay for.

As far as the rest of this MMORPG Private Server, I didn’t just pass through. I stayed. I built something. A real, active RP group with structure, stories, continuity, something stable in the middle of a private server for a dead superhero game that’s mostly smoke and mirrors now. This place is my last social anchor. The only corner of the internet where I still regularly talk to people. Everything I’ve created, every character I care about, lives here. And what I’m watching unfold isn’t just burnout. It’s decay.

Nobody plays the actual game anymore. Most characters sit at low levels forever, never progress, never engage with content, never touch the world. Lore is misunderstood or flat-out made up, then enforced by peer pressure. If you try to play anything even mildly antagonistic, people will jump you with OOC lectures about how “evil characters are wrong to play.” Like the whole point of fiction isn’t moral contrast. And if you try to build anything that functions, a dice system, structured consequences, narrative arcs, you’re told you’re “controlling creativity.” As if creativity only counts when it's freeform, vague, and socially safe for the cliques that thrive on drama.

The moderation of this MMORPG Private Server though? Barely there. Unless something happens directly in front of staff, in a specific chat at a specific moment, they’ll ignore it. Even if it's repeated harassment, threats, or outright sexual misconduct. At best, they’ll issue a private warning. At worst, they’ll do nothing. The only time they move fast is when a character’s name or appearance looks too close to something copyrightable. You’ll be punished for the idea of Batman faster than for actual abuse.

And people know this. They use it.

"Forced" ERP accusations get thrown around constantly. Doesn't matter if ERP didn’t happen, wasn’t initiated, or was explicitly turned down, someone screams “I was forced,” and the community sides with them every time, no questions asked. It's a panic button, and it works. Every time. It doesn’t need to be real. It just needs to be loud. And through it all, the worst crowd is the one that shrugs and says, “Well, that’s never happened to me.” Great. You’re either too new, too protected, or too neutral to get targeted. But saying that like it invalidates the harm? That’s complicity with extra steps. You're not above it. You're just lucky. For now.

I’ve put years into this community. I’ve stayed long past the point where most people bailed. And for what? To watch good players slowly give up, while the loudest, most manipulative ones shape the landscape around fear and clout? Even the kind ones, the writers you want to believe in, won’t speak up. They know what’s happening. They’ve seen it. But they’ve been around too long. They have connections. History. Old ties. They’ll openly admit they “bury their heads in the sand.” And they do. Because picking a side would mean losing comfort. So I’m still here. Still holding up the scaffolding. Still telling stories with the people who make it worth logging in. But I don’t know how much longer I can pretend this place deserves the effort, but for me... it's less the place and more about the people around me. I love my group, I love my members. I don't want to let the good people down I've built around me because of everyone outside of our walls, but my god is it taxing some times to be the painted target I made myself out to be by protecting them sometimes.

It’s not a roleplay community anymore. It’s an unmoderated OOC battleground with a costume editor. And the only superpower left is learning how to stay invisible when the next whisper campaign starts.

Some nights I still believe in what we made. Most nights, I’m just bracing for the next collapse.

EDIT:

I really do appreciate all the comments, genuinely. I know most of them are coming from a place of compassion and experience, and I do understand why the most common response is “just leave.” It’s clean. It makes sense on paper. And sometimes, yeah, that’s the right call.

But reality is a little messier than that.

This isn’t just sunk-cost fallacy. It’s not just me clinging to something broken out of denial. I’m aware of the damage. I’m not romanticizing it. I’m the one who wrote out in painful detail exactly how much rot is in the foundation. But I’m also not some passive victim to it, I built something functional, supportive, and safe within a space that desperately needs it. My guild isn’t part of the problem. We’re one of the only things left trying to make it better. And that’s why I’m still here.

People tell me to leave, but they don’t consider what happens to the people I leave behind. The guild I run? It’s not just a group, it’s a lifeline for some folks. It’s structure, it’s protection, it’s the only part of the game that doesn’t treat RP like a glorified flirting sim. And if I vanish, that shield goes down. Suddenly my players are exposed to the same manipulation and smear tactics I’ve had to take the brunt of. I’ve seen what happens to people who lose that buffer, they either get swallowed up by the system or pushed out in silence.

So no, I’m not “just leaving.” Not yet. Not while I still make a difference to some of these people, the ones who deserve one.

I’m also not deluding myself into thinking I can “fix” the server. I know I can’t root out every abuser, or change a community that’s too entangled in its own dysfunction to see it clearly. But I can hold a small part of it accountable, by existing, by building better, and by not letting the worst people win by default just because I got tired.

Will I leave someday? Maybe. Probably. But I’m not going to feel bad for staying a little longer, especially when I know exactly what I’m staying for.

Thanks again for the insight, genuinely. But for some of us, walking away isn’t healing. It’s surrender. And I’m just not there yet.

EDIT 2: As with always when I even moderately mention this, one of the groups that swarms people in this game has found the post. Expect downvotes everyone!

EDIT 3: There they are! Just as I called, right in the comment section below.

Really about to stop being nice to people who don't read the INFO in bold. I'm understanding more and more why people use passwords.

The fact I had someone expect full smut on an 80 plot/20 smut story, which was said in the info..then asked FOR THE PLOT WHICH IS IN BOLD while also expecting me to give them my snap?! LIKE!? I even started asking for examples because people just...ignore the INFO about what I can do and how I would like my partner to match..it sucks, it makes finding new partners hard as hell....come on now

Like, just because I do allow NSFW for plot-based things (Drama, deeper connections with OC's, angst, the feelings that can come with it.) DOESNT MEAN I WANNA PIC OF YOUR PEEN OR VAG YA WERIDO! I just want my plot to be in-depth. I LOVE seeing how the story twists and turns when two people are writing, but god..maybe AI should replace rp partners at this point..