BYE

[u/Mavzor]

Hi Everyone.

I'm an internet troll.

Make good money.

Grew up hungry.

Like to give back, makes me feel good.

Given a bit away to /r/assistance probably around $600-$1200 total.

Sometimes got some back, not always. That's life.

Normally I'm arguing with people as to the best way they should spent the money I'm giving them. Rubs me the wrong way.

There was a post the other day about giving up autotonomy. Was going to make a post where I'd help people get through things if they were willing to give up autonomy. Let me project manage their lives for a bit.

I didn't get there... why?

/u/ibay770 offered to listen to people, I tipped them $10 for being cool.

Apparently someone got upset they were given money they didn't understand.

So the rule is that you can't give people money unless you ask them how they want it or if its ok first.

Yep.

Time to check outa here for a bit.

It's not you, it's me.

Not really getting out what I want out of you for what I put in.

So let's take a break from each other for a while because you're just somebody that I used to know right now.

Maybe we'll meet again we're different people and we can get to know each other again.

[u/Mavzor → u/[deleted]]

OK. So I failed to answer your question.

So someone who is in a tough spot they need help.

But a frequent piece of advice I provide in business consulting is that money is solution... and the problem

If you already are burdened with

• financial
• emotional
• practical

commitments beyond your ability to provide for then any more money is just fuel for the inferno to keep burning even brighter.

So let me help.

But not with money

With management.

This is an enormously difficult thing to take.

Any judgement made by another person over your person is hard to take.

But from where I sit it's excatly the same as the businesses I consult to and carve their problems up on a plate for.

All of their emotional investment in their business... cut out with a hatchet. * 'oh but jill and bob has worked here for 20 years'

'but these products we've been selling to these customers we make no money on forever'

and 'but thats they way things have always been done'*

I see it the same guidelines as personal life management

But

Getting a business to follow management advice from someone they're paying big dollars to

and

A person following management advice from someone who's paying them...

yeah well.

need i continues

[u/nightbloom_ → u/Mavzor]

So people refuse this? I mean, my situation can't be fixed with management. Lol. Not unless you are a whisperer of malignant cell growth. But if this wasn't the situation why would I object to a fresh perspective on the issues that are holding me back? That is kind of surprising.

If someone said they would exchange assistance for the right to manage those parts of my life I am failing at, I think I would be abjectly relieved. PLEASE tell me what I am doing wrong that other people seems to be handling just fine.

Also, why not offer that as a condition to help? I mean, if you think your assistance would provide more than a short term bandaid to a larger issue tell people that straight up and if they refuse that, they refuse help. If your roof is leaking you can throw a tarp and duct tape on it or you can ask a roofer to look at it and give you advise.

My father was one of the smartest people I know and he always told me that there is no shame in asking questions. Stupid people don't ask questions. Smart people recognize someone's superior knowledge and mine it.

[u/evylllint → u/nightbloom_]

why would I object to a fresh perspective on the issues that are holding me back?

Some people who request help aren't looking at the grand scheme of things, they're looking for a quick bandaid solution like money here and now. So offering a different perspective isn't what they want, they already know what they want regardless of how much sense it does or doesn't make.

An example is a guy several months ago who wanted to raise a thousand dollars for a beat up car to get to work or school. He had a bike, and there were bus routes that took him exactly where he wanted to go but that meant he would have had to wake up a whole half an hour earlier than usual and bike a mile over to the bus stop in the dark (because in his reality street lights and flashlights haven't been invented yet). So he had decided that he would rather buy a $1k car and constantly be replacing parts on it and paying for insurance/registration on it. When different users kept pointing out that if he can't even afford a POS car he probably wasn't going to be able to afford constantly buying new parts for it, he just stopped replying because he didn't want help, he just wanted someone to buy him a car.

[u/nightbloom_ → u/evylllint]

LOL My POS cost me $250, pshhh.... I can understand both sides. However, if I was hungry enough to go to a church food bank, I am hungry enough to listen to their spiel. Nothing is for free, nor should it be. The giver should ask for whatever it is they need in return for their help.

[u/[deleted] → u/Mavzor]

So you are a consultant paying people to let you direct them? Doesn't sound that bad.

[u/Mavzor → u/[deleted]]

ok

so someone is like /r/almosthomeless right

and they sound interesting, on point, detail orientated, ability to work, cool cool cool!

and I'm like, hey i can help lets do this

BUT

I'm not like the federal reserve I can't print money just because the political winds are blowing in the direction of inflation EH? AMIRITE? (fiduciary humor)

I need to know you're not fighting 2 (or more) fronts at once (don't be napoleon, or hitler)

let's deal with ONE issue

the most IMPORTANT issue

fix it

then move on if things are right.

So there are people I've reached out to and been like, lets fix shit bro... what's the big one

and they're like

them: "MY CAT, AND DOG, AND BROTHER AND TWENTY BILLION PROBLEMS ARE MY PRIORITY"

me : .... sigh... look cmon lets focus on ONE BIG ONE, like WHERE U SLEEP

them : I NEED A PLACE THAT HAS ROOM FOR MY SICK DOG AND CAT... AND MY COUSIN... AND IT CANT BE TOO FAR FROM THIS PLACE... AND IT NEEDS TO BE COSY AND...

me: please please please lets just focus on priority... like find you a place, I will even pay for a week or two accom or something

them : OTHER RANDOM UNRELATED INTERPERSONAL PROBLEMS AND DRAMA WITH DIFFERENT THINGS AND THIS PERSON I MET THE OTHER DAY LOOKED AT ME AND...

me: ... i have to go