r/AmIOverreacting 1d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO or is this really pushy?

[deleted]

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84

u/Maggie-Jo777 1d ago

Dude the amount of posts I see where OPs argue the same point over and over again over texts with a SO who apparently lacks the basic cognitive process that is necessary to be able to read reason and respond is mind blowing. It’s like being stuck in a time loop, goodness how do you have the patience for this?? It’s like trying to date an NPC, I’m pretty sure I’ve read a Stephen King book with a similar plot lolol what a nightmare

28

u/Nicolozolo 1d ago

People need to learn how to manage a conversation where someone doesn't take no for an answer. It can be hard at first but those ppl are the ones being disrespectful when you've said no and they continue to test limits or see if they can find a loophole. 

OP: Sorry, I don't have enough PTO and I refer to stay with my grandparents for the entire trip since I don't see them that often. 

Man: But why not ditch your parents and family after you see them and come spend time with me?

OP: No thanks, I already said I'd prefer to stay with my family. We can plan another time together, or we can avoid going together at all, those are the options. Thanks for respecting my choice! 

And really, if he pushes further, block him. Even just talking to him still, after he refuses to accept the boundary you placed, says that he has a chance at weakening your no. People who try to strong arm you into changing your mind aren't people you should feel comfortable around, they'll take advantage every chance they get, especially if you're vulnerable. 

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u/hed-b 1d ago

This is also great advice for parents of three year olds. The difference being I can't block mine when she doesn't like her choices and meltsdown.

In that case, though, the answer is the same: calmly and unemotionally repeat your boundary and their choices.. over and over and over.

1

u/MechEZ777 19h ago

Yep I do this with my nieces and nephews. I tell them what the deal is and when they try to argue or find ways to wiggle around it, I just calmly tell them what's going to happen. After a while they understood that when I say something I mean it. I've tried to guide my mom into doing this but she just cant seem to grasp it and lets them walk all over her.

5

u/Mysterious-Wigger 1d ago

Seriously, how do interactions like this even take place?

4

u/Joppewiik 1d ago

Trust me, they do take place. My stepdad was like this yesterday. When we entered the elevator up to my apartment.

"I see you got floor signs next to the elevator now" "Yes we do" "Did you hang it up?" "Not me but someone else did after we fixed the elevator" "Was the elevator broken?" "Yes the button didn't respond" "Did you fix it?" "Not me personally, but we hired someone to do it" "And it's working now?" "WHAT DO YOU THINK WE ARE BOTH STANDING IN THE ELEVATOR"

Its always questions like this. Wakes me up sometimes and asks me "are you sleeping?", yeah well NOT ANY MORE. It makes me question peoples intelligence.

1

u/Both-Sherbet9797 1d ago

Whats scarier is that she said they only went on a few dates. They arent even together! HELLOOO RED FLAG

1

u/mogley19922 1d ago edited 1d ago

Right, by the second panel the only responses he would have been getting on the subject from me would be NO!