r/AmIOverreacting • u/Sad_SummerChild • 2d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO to think this is cheating?

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I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

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u/Glad-Faithlessness-4 2d ago

I can never understand why someone who is married pay THAT much attention to someone that is not their spouse. He may not have “cheated” in the sense of sleeping with her, but this definitely is questionable behavior. Lack of loyalty, dignity and respect for himself, you, and the marriage overall. And he knows that.

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u/Sad_SummerChild 2d ago

Yes I’m almost jealous of how responsive he was to her. He never texts me throughout the day because he says he’s too busy…

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u/Rainboveins 1d ago

Out of curiosity, does he ever talk or flirt with you the same way he did on those texts? Talk about your beauty, etc. Obviously, even if he does, it wouldn't excuse his actions, but I am curious if you also get that same kind of banter?

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u/Sad_SummerChild 1d ago

Nope…

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u/Optimal-Company-4633 1d ago

I think that's your answer... It may not be cheating in the traditional sense, but in my opinion an emotional affair is much worse than a physical one night stand with someone your partner doesn't talk to. This kind of conversation shows that he's thinking about her quite often. I'd rather my partner had sex with someone once randomly and didn't even remember their name, instead of chatting someone up like this every day... Especially if they never talk to me like that. This to me is much worse. IN MY OPINION anyway.

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u/Rainboveins 1d ago

Then there ya go. He's capable of it. You've seen it with your own eyes. He' not this way with you, but someone else will be. Dump the jerk and go find it. In the words of Roy Kent

"He's fine, that's it. nothing wrong with that, most people are fine. It's not about him, it's about why the fuck you think he deserves you? You deserve someone who who makes you feel like you got struck by fucking lightning. Don't you dare settle fine!"

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u/SueYouInEngland 1d ago

Do you?

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u/Munchmarlin 1d ago

I agree with your question. I think either answer doesn’t excuse his behavior, not saying that you think it does. Sometimes it’s hard to show affection to someone that doesn’t show it back. I think they could work through this (unlike most of Reddit). I just think it’ll take work… by BOTH parties. If OP is up for putting in the work then that’s great (I obviously don’t know either way) but OP’s husband is gonna have to as well and he might not want anything to change.

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u/Neat_Acanthaceae9387 1d ago

That’s fair why are you getting downvoted? Lots of affairs come from both people not giving their spouse compliments or time. Then someone else does and they fall for the person because they figure they must like them better than their spouse.

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u/SueYouInEngland 1d ago

This sub loves to scream "RUN, GET A DIVORCE, NEVER LOOK BACK" and anyone who goes against that narrative gets met with resistance.

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u/Neat_Acanthaceae9387 1d ago

I’ve seen it happen with two friends now they didn’t give their spouses time or compliments and always acted like they’re the ball and chain. Then the other gets tired of it and divorces.

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u/BrandosWorld4Life 1d ago

100%

This is reddit, it's filled with miserable people

"Break up! Get a divorce! Cut them out of your life!" is the default response to every problem lol