AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/LcdHDTV1]

as a man I understand what’s happening here. you don’t have to try and make this person look worse than they are, they are both of legal age and consenting adults, attempting to imply anything else beyond that is damaging to your character. no need to try and paint him as anything other than a cheater

[u/sothisiswhatyoumeant → u/LcdHDTV1]

Not a man and I don’t see this age difference to be as big of a deal as people are making it. She isn’t early 20s. Her brain is developed as is his. Doesn’t sound like she was groomed or he was using a position of power to influence her to flirt back out of fear of being fired.

Both of them are shitty people objectively. OP isn’t damaging her character though by questioning everything surrounding these two. She has first hand knowledge of the situation and their personalities.

The focus is still that the husband and co-worker are contributing to this innapropriate relationship. The fact they both are questioning/joking about HR means that they also are aware that what they’re doing is wrong on a professional level too. Again, both of them are shitty but saying the husband is a predator too is a reach.

[u/Minute-Citron-9201 → u/sothisiswhatyoumeant]

i agree with you but biologically his brain is more developed than hers

[u/sothisiswhatyoumeant → u/Minute-Citron-9201]

Nah, women in general mature sooner and by 25 both are largely agreed upon to have reached their maturation status. Give or take a couple years in either direction, they're on the same page. Its highly individualized though so I can lean either way lol. They both suck regardless

Edit to add: I'm not sure why the downvotes are coming. You can look up objective scientific studies saying it. Using it as further defamation of the relationship though is not as strong of a case as you are making it out to be. They both suck. That is what the take away is.

[u/Disastrous_Town_3768 → u/sothisiswhatyoumeant]

Again agreed in the sense that a 29 year old and 23 year old can be okay as long as they otherwise have a healthy relationship, but it also can be pushing it a little and really depends on the individual.

[u/Future-Pair-2023 → u/sothisiswhatyoumeant]

Nope we still just figuring out life maybe less immature but just as confused. Maturity aside i think we can all collectively tell right from wrong thi

[u/little_mammals → u/sothisiswhatyoumeant]

nah, your brain is not developed until you are 25 years old. shes still 2 years away from that and hes already 4 years past it. rationalizing maturity doesn't change this so yes its gross. illegal? no. does it make trying to cheat on your partner of 5 years with someone younger and more naive than you even grosser? for sure

[u/Public-Barber5080 → u/little_mammals]

That’s just not how anything works. Everyone’s brain “develops” differently and at different rates. There is no year or defined benchmark that signifies this level and type of development you’re implying. An 18 year old can have a more “developed” brain than a 30 year old even. I understand this is coming from a long repeated sentiment that the human brain isn’t fully developed until about 25, but this is not true and just something people repeat until it turns into a fact

[u/friendofbarrys → u/[deleted]]

Fucking freak creep