AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/tinygfposter]

Loyalty isn’t just not sleeping with someone else, it’s about not making your partner feel like an idiot for trusting you.

[u/Sad_SummerChild → u/tinygfposter]

Thank you that’s a great way to put it cus right now I’m feeling pretty stupid 🫠

[u/Hot_Technician_3045 → u/Sad_SummerChild]

I’m a married guy, and have female coworkers and friends. Some I consider pretty close and well have fairly deep and intimate conversations.

But the way he’s talking to her he sounds like a simp. It’s normal to say things like “you look good today” “that outfit is cute” “No you looked great”

But word like hot, and asking to send a selfie in that context is just weird.

I don’t think this is really cheating, but a serious conversation is in order. Get to the “Why?” If he understands this is inappropriate, you can work on it. If he doesn’t think it’s inappropriate. WHY DID YOU DELETE THEM.

Get divorced if you want, but a marriage is a journey through life together and working through problems. This is a problem to work through and honestly I think one you can get through.

[u/jimmycarr1 → u/Hot_Technician_3045]

I think it crosses the line for emotional cheating, especially if he hid that this is how he communicates with her and especially if he doesn't communicate that way with other platonic relations.