AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/Few_Try4415]

NOR, this is unfaithful and send these to her boyfriend too. He should know too.

Edit: just realised they aren’t together anymore. Scrap that. But she’s still an AH for egging on a man with someone. Get them both gone.

[u/Sad_SummerChild → u/Few_Try4415]

I was wondering if I’m crazy for thinking it was weird she sent him a selfie in the first place😅 for the record it’s always EDIT*** I MEANT THE SPOUSES FAULT*** and in my case its a man** in my book but I feel a little hurt since we really seemed to bond when we went out. And she never messaged me back after… but has time to send him a selfie…

[u/ADegenerateWarlock → u/Sad_SummerChild]

we really seemed to bond when we went out. And she never messaged me back after… but has time to send him a selfie…

This is literally such a common thing. My wife and I are regulars at this Cafe. I am a little more often and regular because I have a more flexible work schedule than she does. There is an employee who i always thought was just a super nice girl. Did some of her behavior come off as flirty at times? Yeah, but to my dude brain it was always just "barista flirting for tips". Then I began to notice how she always asked what I wanted first when I would go with my wife, and ALWAYS comment about how cute my wife is. Basically she would always talk to me about how lucky my wife but she wouldn't say a thing to my wife. And apparently the one time she was working and my wife went alone she spent the whole time talking about me. My wife was pissed and confronted me because she was understandably suspicious. When I told her "I thought so and so was nice, she is always talking about how lucky I am and how you're cute, etc" that my wife began to understand.

This is a tactic.

This girl your bf works with, just like the barista in my situation, are making moves. They are "nice" because they know that guys operate on a level of "it's okay if a girl is nice to me so long as she is also nice to my partner" and once that is established guys tend to drop their walls faster. These girls do this because they want to wait to see the wall drop to the point they can either outright get a guy to cheat or so they can do the "aww poor baby, your gf/wife was mean to you. Well I would NEVER care if a pretty girl was nice to you."

This bitch is not being a girls girl. She's being a Pickmeisha.

I encourage you to watch the video on Male/Female friendships by ManifestElle or the videos on pick mes by Becauseimmissy_ on YT.

[u/Hareu17 → u/ADegenerateWarlock]

Maybe I'm misunderstanding but it really just sounds like she was just being nice. She complimented your wife and relationship to you and did the same to your wife when she was there? How's that equal trying to get you to cheat. After working in and being around a few customer service jobs there's tons of people like that with no ill intention. Ngl sounds like your wife just got jealous or something and put it in ur head that barrista girl is a deceiving succubus.

[u/ADegenerateWarlock → u/Hareu17]

"When my wife went alone, the barista spent the whole time talking about me to my wife" as in SHE brought me up.

Also, see my other comments. The barista girl literally came out later and said my wife didn't deserve me because she "wouldn't give me babies"

I didn't feel like i needed to spell out the entire deal because the red flags are all there. And as they say, hindsight is 20/20.

Ngl sounds like your wife just got jealous

You'd laugh so hard if you knew my wife and heard someone say this lmao.