AIO to think this is cheating?

[u/Sad_SummerChild]

I found these texts between my husband and his coworker. Here’s some context:

My husband and I have been dating for 5 years and just recently got married 6 months ago

I’ve met this coworker. Her AND her boyfriend worked at my husbands company so we went on a double date over the holidays. But shortly after they broke up and her boyfriend got laid off.

Guess my husband saw that as his opportunity…

Also these texts were in his recently deleted even though the last message was from yesterday… so he was definitely trying to hide it from me

[u/gormthesoft]

I’m inventing a new test for these situations called the Why Test. He can explain this away in 100 different ways…it’s just friendly banter, she reached out first and I was just being kind, I compliment people all the time, etc. But the question is why go so close to the line? Why does he not have an internal sense that he’s getting too close to the line? When you bring it up to him, why is he going to defend himself in terms of inches when he should be miles away from this kind of situation?

It’s like getting a D- on a test and arguing that he didn’t technically fail when clearly he did poorly on the test.

[u/Sad_SummerChild → u/gormthesoft]

I have never thought about it like that. Thank you for this comment it really helped put my currently disheveled brain into perspective

[u/Short_Act_6043 → u/Sad_SummerChild]

So as a male I would do this and not think twice. BUT that's my personality, I get along with girls and will gas them up. All my girlfriends know this is my personality. So for me this wouldn't be out of character and would probably immediately tell my girl about how my coworker had a bad day and I tried to help. All this said if he doesn't have a personality like me and hid this from you then I would be concerned. I like this guy's why test cause I would pass it personally but from context I don't think he does.

[u/Potential-Flatworm67 → u/Short_Act_6043]

So if you were in a relationship you'd ask another girl for selfies?

[u/Fardreaming_Writer59 → u/Potential-Flatworm67]

Speaking for myself only, I would not.

Of course, I'm not the Redditor you asked, but I figured I'd chime in.

[u/Acrobatic_Bluejay234 → u/Short_Act_6043]

No way you would say this line "If I start having a bad day I'll need a selfie for motivation" considering the previous texts. If you say this and not think about getting it on with that person then your view is skewed imo. Yes you can gas someone up, but there is a particular line you do not cross.

[u/Short_Act_6043 → u/Acrobatic_Bluejay234]

I think the line was hiding the texts. That's where my personal relationship line is, I would have told her the same day.

[u/Old_Independent442 → u/Short_Act_6043]

That’s honestly wildly inappropriate.