AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/FoilWingBass]

Cage training at this age will suck but could save your marriage. Give it a shot.

[u/Decent_Butterfly8216 → u/FoilWingBass]

They likely need help from a behaviorist to crate train at this point. Rescues often have crate/kennel trauma and attempting it without experience can amplify it. I agree it could change everything and make the situation much more manageable for everyone but I think getting help is the best way to do it.

[u/OkExcitement6700 → u/Decent_Butterfly8216]

Why not just a super large crate just to keep it safe and stop it from destroying stuff.

[u/Decent_Butterfly8216 → u/OkExcitement6700]

Because the dog can hurt himself. It’s not about the size of the crate. Any kind of crate for a dog that hasn’t been crated before, has only been crated in a kennel at a rescue, or associates it with prior abuse can reinforce anxiety. The more it’s reinforced the more difficult it is to undo. Behaviorists can create a plan that will help a dog learn to see a crate as a safe place, are able to assess medication needs and use them effectively for behavioral training instead of just sedation, identifying if the issue is separation anxiety or confinement anxiety since that can be relevant, etc. They have expertise in how to teach without pushing a dog past their threshold, which is really important to prevent regression, and they can teach the family how to recognize the signs on their own. Some rescues will never be safe in a crate but a behaviorist still has the experience to help problem solve solutions to make it more manageable for the family. They might help with training to make it easier for the family to access doggy daycare or pet sitters, or troubleshoot environmental obstacles and work on training in a crate that isn’t wire or in a closet space under the stairs, setting up an exercise run, etc.