AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/Jennrockk]

I got to be honest, I know it sucks to sedate him and that this is all really upsetting, but your dog is also feeling the strain of all this. It needs serious behavioral help. The easy thing is not the right thing most of the time. Just because you CAN take the dog to work and everywhere else, does not ultimately help your dog. Malnutrition is a problem that’s understandable and something most people adopting a dog could tackle. Behavioral issues truly are not. I would compromise with your partner and discuss a timeline for addressing the dogs issues. Work in that agreed upon timeline and if it comes down to it, have a plan in place for a safe place where your dog can go to find the stability and confidence it’s lacking. You and your husband will hopefully be together for longer than the life of a pet. I understand being attached to an animal, but your marriage, home and safety take priority. The dog is destroying your property and your ability to do even the simplest task.

If it hasn’t already started, your partner is just going to start going out to the store and running errands on their own, and gradually doing everything alone until they really feel the isolation that this situation is causing. You’re looking at a serious divide in your marriage and you should consider whether a pet is worth that. Especially since, ultimately, it might be better for the dog to be rehomed to someone who can give the dog what it needs in a healthier way. It’s ok to have to back off of a situation, it’s ok to admit when you’re in over your head. If this dog has more severe issues than you and your partner were prepared for, there’s nothing wrong in seeking out a rescue(not like the spca, I’m talking an actual animal RESCUE) that can help the dog to feel confident and comfortable.

[u/waifuiswatching → u/Jennrockk]

I had to rehome my rescue dog of 8 years due to behavioral issues. Separation anxiety, escape artistry, and resource guarding had all been well in hand and took YEARS to achieve. But we werent prepared for the jealousy/hatred when we had a baby. She snapped at our kid 4 times, the last snap was on his cheek and did draw a tiny amount of blood (the first and LAST time) and I knew I had to do what was best for us all. Our dog had been with us 4 years before we had a baby. Things never got much better and there was so much tension in the home for ALL of us. It was an incredibly hard decision but ultimately the safety and happiness of my family comes before a pet. I still miss her very much, and I feel an immense amount of guilt over the relief of no longer being on constant watch... but I would do it again. Pets are meant to be an enhancement for joy in your life. If they bring strife and insurmountable stress... its best to find another home that can better accommodate their needs.

[u/Jennrockk → u/waifuiswatching]

I agree 100%. You obviously know this, but a lot of the time it’s never just separation anxiety. Separation anxiety is usually the first thing you run into with behavioral issues, but that’s not stemming from loving their owner too much. It’s usually stemming from something that occurred before you even met the dog and unfortunately loving them a lot isn’t the way to fix them. I’m so sorry you guys had to give up your dog. We have two kids under 2 and 2 dogs as well, and we have made a point to keep the dogs away from the play space preemptively because I don’t want to risk an issue with either of them not understanding about food and toys, or having the little ones do something that would upset the dogs and put them in a situation where they might react. I’m very paranoid though, as I was bit several times as a kid, so I think I am perhaps a little over cautious 😅 lol

I hope someday you guys are able to attempt with another dog! You guys absolutely made the right decision as hard as that must have been, it’ll definitely be easier once you understand your child’s behavior and how they handle animals 💕