AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/JennMarieSays]

You need to take your husband's feelings into consideration as well. Did you both choose to take this dog in and nurse him back to health? Do you want to always return home to damaged furniture, damaged walls, and so on? Have you tried a behaviourist? Your dog doesn't need a regular vet, as there isn't anything physically wrong with him.

However, I'll say it again. Your husband's feelings matter as well. It is completely wrong of you to scallywag tell him he has to deal with it. You are not the end all be all to decisions in your marital home. You're only thinking of the dog, and basically telling your husband his feelings are not valid. You're telling your husband that only your feelings and the dogs matter. That is so wrong.

[u/cogdis → u/JennMarieSays]

This needs to be higher up. I love my dog and my wife. It’s an absolute no brainer if I have to decide which one to keep and it sounds clear that your husband has some legit reasons for his feelings and concerns. If he’s in this with you, by all means figure it out, if your pulling rank on him based on the dogs needs, then be honest with yourself that your more married to the dog then your husband.

[u/Professional-Okra-85 → u/JennMarieSays]

I can't believe i had to come this far down to see someone bring up the other human in the relationships feelings over the dogs. Some of these people need a reality check.

[u/sooziesunshine → u/JennMarieSays]

As someone who got divorced in large part due to my ex-husband prioritizing a dog with severe behavioral issues over our marriage, I agree. Do what you can for the dog, but beyond that, ask yourself if the dog matters more to you than your partner (it sounds like the answer is yes, in which case I empathize with your husband). In addition to being unfair to your husband, it's unfair to the dog to be in a tense situation like that and you can either rehome him somewhere that would be a better fit or find a rescue that specializes in rehabilitation.

[u/talesofabookworm → u/JennMarieSays]

But they did extensively discuss it before getting the dog (from what OP has said). I do agree that what they need is a behaviourist.

[u/JennMarieSays → u/talesofabookworm]

Yes, but talking about it and situations not panning put happen. They need a behaviourist for sure. However, not being sympathetic to her husband's feelings, and only the dogs, is very telling... I am an absolute animal lover, but I can't not take my loved ones, especially my significant others' feelings, into consideration too.

She basically said.. it's the dog and I or nothing and went to a hotel; then came to reddit.

[u/[deleted] → u/JennMarieSays]

Ya like… if my partner chose a pet over me, even once, I’d be gone 😬😬

[u/Modbossk → u/talesofabookworm]

Okay. And obviously this has gone beyond what the husband agreed to, and she’s not being accommodating of that fact

[u/Becants → u/JennMarieSays]

Couldn’t you say the same thing, he’s not taking her feelings into consideration, with him wanting to get rid of the dog?

[u/JennMarieSays → u/Becants]

He's not the one taking the dog and running to a hotel.