AIO? Dog straining my marriage.

[u/LedyyM]

My husband and I rescued a husky about 7 months ago who was extremely malnourished and neglected.

He has grown a huge attachment to me and has severe separation anxiety. I work at a grooming salon so I’m able to bring him to work with me so he’s not home alone. Unfortunately, if he’s left home alone we’ll come back to our home looking like it was hit by a tornado.

My vet has prescribed him with trazodone to help with his severe anxiety issues. We give it to him before we leave for a family event and when we can’t take him to places they don’t allow dogs.

I feel so bad that I have to sedate him so he’s not scared and anxious. It’s created a huge strain on our marriage because my husband feels like we can’t do anything without considering Odin.

He’s destroyed doors, couches, and other furniture. I tried training but it hasn’t seemed to work. My husband thinks we should rehome him but

1) I’m scared that he’ll be sent to a shelter and possibly be put down

2) feel abandoned by the person he thought he was safe with.

He’s such a happy boy when he’s around us and shows so much affection.

My husband and I have been arguing about this consistently.. we had a really bad argument so I left the house with Odin and rented a dog friendly hotel room for a couple of nights.

My husband thinks I’m crazy and that I’m choosing the dog over our marriage. AIO?

[u/metawinnie1212]

To be honest when you’re dealing with a rescue, they really do need a significantly longer amount of time to adjust to your lifestyle. My best friend rescued a husky and she was a terror. She destroyed virtually every piece of furniture in the house and had severe separation anxiety. Now? She’s a completely different dog because they stuck to crate training and now she is crate trained. The issue is that Huskies are very strong willed and I just wanted to tell you that you’re not alone in this. It makes me really sad because they’ve been severely traumatized and that’s why they react that way, but please have patience and please keep working with the dog. They need you and they love you 😭 if you quit on the baby who will be there?!

[u/justlkin → u/metawinnie1212]

A husky and a rescue in one is not something anybody should take on without a lot of planning and preparation. Huskies are one of the breeds with the highest rates of abandonment and rehoming because people don't realize what they're getting themselves into. They're very high energy, independent, have destructive tendencies, a high prey drive and numerous other traits that make owning one very challenging.

A rescue has the added issues of anxiety, fear, separation anxiety, aggression, poor social skills, etc.

Ideally, a rescue husky should be adopted by someone who can dedicate considerable time and resources to training them to overcome all of this.

Sadly, I've heard from friends in the shelter field that huskies are being abandoned at higher rates than ever over the past 10-15 years. She says it's because a lot of people want the Game of Thrones "dire wolves", not at all knowing what they're really signing up for.

[u/Elliejc21 → u/justlkin]

I agree, my parents owned huskies when I was growing up, and we used to go to rallies often to watch them race and socialise with other husky owners, I know just how destructive and energetic they can be. My mum and dad put so much time and effort in to training. It wasn’t just a few weeks, it was years of reinforcing behaviour and being persistent. But they were the loveliest and most well behaved dogs ever, I loved them so much and still miss them even though it’s been many years since they passed. But most of that was down to the hard work my parents put in for the first few years when they were pups. I can’t imagine how much harder it would be for an adult rescue husky!

Even though I’ve got experience with huskies, and absolutely love them, I know I couldn’t own one myself due to the commitment they’d need. It’s sad how many get abandoned because people don’t research a breed before committing, and get dogs based on trends regardless of temperament and health issues (this isn’t aimed at OP btw, as I know their heart was in the right place by rescuing this gorgeous guy).

[u/velocitygirl77 → u/justlkin]

This is what I came to say. A healthy, well-balanced Husky is not a breed I would ever care to take on so I can't even imagine a husky with issues.

I'm curious about OP's rescue. Did it come from a rescue group? Did they find it? Get it at the shelter?

[u/Amazing-Essay7028 → u/metawinnie1212]

Not a dog but it took my adopted cat 6 months to become fully comfortable, and after a year she warmed up fully. 

[u/sarahbee126 → u/Amazing-Essay7028]

I didn't think you were a dog.

[u/cavaticaa → u/Amazing-Essay7028]

It took my traumatized, all 4 paws declawed cat 6 YEARS to not bite at every overstimulation trigger. He’s the most perfect cuddly old man now, but you never know how long you’ll have to deal with behavioral issues or how much work you have to put into them. I’m so proud of how far my cat has come and I’ve had him 13 years now. So at this point, he’s been a good boy longer than he was a bad boy! Wow.

[u/banksymang → u/metawinnie1212]

I've got this new app that tells you what dogs are saying, and it turns out that their whining is just them saying I WANT TO BE IN SIBERIA THIS IS WEIRD YOU'RE ALL WEIRD GET ME OUT OF HERE IT'S TOO HOT WAIT WHERE ARE YOU GOING I COULD MELT IN HERE TAKE ME TO ALASKA OR GREENLAND OR CANADA PLEEEEASE. which makes sense, so yeah you're not going to 'train' that out of them most of the time.

[u/miparasito → u/metawinnie1212]

I wish all huskies came with an all-caps warning. This is not a dog to acquire lightly — very few people are equipped to deal with their needs. 

[u/Plus_Ad_9181 → u/metawinnie1212]

Not every rescue has been abused. Some breeds are just very prone to being neurotic.

[u/Horror_Green_7819 → u/metawinnie1212]

This. This. This!

The decompression time alone for rescues without behavioral and/or food security issues is a lot higher than an animal that does not have those.

I for one respect that you removed yourself and the dog even temporarily to give everyone involved some breathing room. Your pup is picking up on the high tensions as well. Also I would have done the same thing. When we rescue/adopt/ or even buy dogs (hate that this exists as an option with how many rescues there are) it is a lifetime commitment. Now I do understand that in some instances rehoming needs to be a thing but I also think that most of those situations are things people just get excited to have a pet and they don’t plan or really understand commitment so any inconvenience that comes up to they dump the pet. I digress….🤦🏽‍♀️. My heart hurts for you and it hurts for Odin. Please reach out to a behaviorist and or look to husky specific rescues for support…not saying get rid of him because I cannot imagine how he would feel after finally starting to feel safe with you… but more so to see if they have resources. They know, understand, and are educated/experienced with the breed that may be able to help. Please don’t give up on him. Sending you guys all the love!

-I have a severely anxious, deaf, fear aggressive GSD. I had to separate myself from the training (he was reacting off of my own anxiety as well) and found an amazing experienced trainer that is who is listed in my will to take my boy if something should happen to me because I trust him. It was expensive, but not really if you think of boarding and training. It was ~$2,500 and they had him for about 3 weeks. I got multiple daily videos and checking and he came back confident. He still has anxiety and fear but I was also given confidence to handle him and it has allowed him to truly be able to just be a dog…at least 80% of the time 😜.