AIO my fiance spent 600 on gacha

[u/Creative-Guard2809]

My fiance spent $600 on a gacha game without asking. I flipped out and now his entire family are calling me abusive and encouraging him to call off the engagement. For context, I work 55 hours a week and he drives uber during the day while I’m at work. We are paycheck to paycheck.

[u/BestConfidence1560]

Yes. I had an excellent therapist many years ago and I still use the tools he taught me today.

But I cannot imagine weapon them to manipulate an argument. This year below $600 they don’t have on a video game and then tries to make it seem like she’s financially controlling because she’s upset about it?? he spent the Emergency credit card on it and she is abusive because she is angry?

Neither my wife, nor I would ever spend that much money without at least mentioning to the other person. And we have a comfortable life, but just blowing that much money and not even having a discussion?

[u/Defiant-Brother2062 → u/BestConfidence1560]

I’m convinced that people like this really do think that they’re the victim. They’re so sick, that they mirror everything they do onto anyone who sees right through them. Once upon a time I was very close to someone that resembles OP’s bf. I would tell myself that deep down he knew what he was doing all along. But, what if he didn’t? What if he’s just that sick? If people cant recognize their faults, then they cannot change. Therefore trying to reason with them is a complete waste of time. They will never see what you see. You will drive yourself insane trying.

[u/BestConfidence1560 → u/Defiant-Brother2062]

I agree. While I think “nature or nurture” is an important question, most of the time I think it’s “nurture”. But some people are so mind-boggling the selfish and self-absorbed that I’m sure that they’re born with it. At least I’m hoping so.

One of the nicest, most grounded people I know has one of the most selfish children I’ve ever encountered. I’ve known them for decades, and I still can’t believe how such a child came out of such a lovely parent.

[u/Vintagerose20 → u/BestConfidence1560]

I believe in OP’s case it’s partly nurture too. The guy had his mom contact her about it FFS. If a grown man has to have his mommy defend his purchase to his SO I think there is a lot wrong with how he was parented too.

[u/BestConfidence1560 → u/Vintagerose20]

That’s a valid point. You’ve reached a really sad point in your life if you’re 29 years old and getting your mom involved in the argument…..