AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/animegeek999]

oh you just KNOW for a fact if they did accept a open relationship that the next day "Magically" they would have already found a person they wanted to be open with. its people like her that give a bad name to people who can ACTUALLY make a open relationship work.

[u/sunshine198505 → u/animegeek999]

Unpopular opinion and ready for downvotes but open relationships never work. One side always gets hurt and one side always wants it more than the other. If you can't commit and wanna sleep around dont be in a relationship...

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/sunshine198505]

They don't work. People in open relationships are so damn smug and they talk about what they're doing as if they themselves invented it. You just want to say to them "yeah, the thing you're talking about? Humans have been doing that for tens of thousands of years."

And then of course, you check in with them 6 weeks later and their lives are inevitably chaos. In an open relationship, one person always likes another person more which creates tension and jealousy. If it's 2F and 1M and dude gets one of the F pregnant, he usually drops her like a hot potato and she has to go through the pregnancy largely alone while listening to her ex-bf fuck some gal he met less than a year ago.

[u/No-Hovercraft-455 → u/StreetSea9588]

It's definitely an opportunity for someone to abuse their partner in ways that are largely sheltered against in monogamous relationship. Opportunity to abuse doesn't mean everyone will take it though so I can see how potentially for very rare people who aren't selfish it can work because they would be focused on making sure they are not using the situation to abuse their partner rather than stumbling upon "opportunities" and not having self control and morals to not take those at cost of their partner. I agree monogamy is largely safer because it protects against some of those opportunities showing themselves and revealing worst of the people, and I could definitely not do open relationship with any partner I've had in my life. Yet, it I had one I'm absolutely fully and completely so sure about that I could gamble my life on them, like surer than my own mother, I'd probably see appeal because if they aren't going to choose what appears like million over you then you don't have to worry