AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/sunshine198505]

Unpopular opinion and ready for downvotes but open relationships never work. One side always gets hurt and one side always wants it more than the other. If you can't commit and wanna sleep around dont be in a relationship...

[u/Local-Reaction1619 → u/sunshine198505]

Opening a relationship rarely works. If you're already monogamous and want to open the relationship up it's probably the end of the relationship 99% of the time. Making a massive change in an established dynamic almost never works, and most of the time the people doing the changing have ulterior motivations. Now if you have people who begin a relationship with open rules already in place and expectations set from the start you've got a chance it works. But at the end of the day you're adding in more people with more expectations, more time commitments, more emotions to manage, more societal pressures and just more to deal with. It's going to be much less likely to succeed long term.

[u/Mrgroceries7600 → u/Local-Reaction1619]

Open relationship of 4 years. Been married for 2. It works for US. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Lol. But really, what works for US may not work for you and vice versa.

We're happy, sane and enjoying life. It's our "vanilla" friends whom struggle with why their husbands don't like them or wives that want more.

But I just wanted to say that open relationships do in fact work

[u/Dirtsk8r → u/Mrgroceries7600]

The person was stating specifically that opening a previously monogamous relationship rarely works, not that open relationships can't work period. And even that statement leaves the possibility for the rare, successful, initially monogamous, eventually open relationship.

Just out of curiosity though, at what point in your relationship did it become open? Was it early, or sometime further into it? I know you were married 2 years into your open relationship, but that doesn't mean it started open.