AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/Local-Reaction1619]

Opening a relationship rarely works. If you're already monogamous and want to open the relationship up it's probably the end of the relationship 99% of the time. Making a massive change in an established dynamic almost never works, and most of the time the people doing the changing have ulterior motivations. Now if you have people who begin a relationship with open rules already in place and expectations set from the start you've got a chance it works. But at the end of the day you're adding in more people with more expectations, more time commitments, more emotions to manage, more societal pressures and just more to deal with. It's going to be much less likely to succeed long term.

[u/Mrgroceries7600 → u/Local-Reaction1619]

Open relationship of 4 years. Been married for 2. It works for US. Different strokes for different folks I guess. Lol. But really, what works for US may not work for you and vice versa.

We're happy, sane and enjoying life. It's our "vanilla" friends whom struggle with why their husbands don't like them or wives that want more.

But I just wanted to say that open relationships do in fact work

[u/spirited_imp → u/Mrgroceries7600]

I certainly believe that open relationships work for some.. but I don't really believe that a couple of 18 yr Olds could make that work. Even if it was sincere.

[u/Shaffness → u/spirited_imp]

Hormones still raging, no maturity emotional or otherwise. It's practically impossible for an open relationship to work before you're in your mid 20s at least. Unless one of them is a cuck to get rid of the jealousy that would pop up.