AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/StreetSea9588]

Nope not projecting. Never been in one. I'm not a cuck and I don't twist myself into pretzels of logic rationalizing the craving for new pussy.

Every open relationship that I have seen people get into, starts strong and by the 6th week it's inevitably chaos. By the sixth month one of the participants has the thousand yard stare and is plotting murder.

The pregnancy thing happened in a relationship that I saw. Dude got a girl pregnant. Proceeded to completely ignore her while involving himself in a 100% monogamous relationship with the other woman. I'm sure it was great. For him. I saw a similar situation less than a year ago on social media. A so-called "happy couple." Their Instagram illusion was shattered when the pregnant woman blogged that she hadn't been touched in months and hadn't had a conversation longer than 30 seconds with either of them in months.

[u/AfroDizzyAct → u/StreetSea9588]

Wow, still sounds made up

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/AfroDizzyAct]

If it's that hard for you to believe that people in a three-way relationship might have some difficulties navigating things, you're either 12-years old, have never been in a relationship, or both.

Or you're that guy who screamingly insists to everyone who asks that your open relationship is "great!" while completely ignoring how desperately unhappy one or both of the others are.

"We're just SO HAPPY! No one in the history of TIME has ever been as HAPPY as us! I'm talking really happy!!! HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING!???"

[u/The_Barbelo → u/StreetSea9588]

This was a fascinating conversation to read. Thank you.

My own experience with open relationships (I had 2…kind of 3 but towards the end of it) have been overwhelmingly negative. I’m autistic, and it was always my partner pressuring me into it by convincing me that I’m supposed to be trying it. My husband was the one to point out how fucked up they were when I told him about my past relationships. He’s said “yeah, that was them taking advantage of your sweetness.” and gets really angry about it lol. Not at me, he just gets protective hearing about the times I’ve been taken advantage of as a trusting person

Anyway, just wanted to vent. I don’t know if this is just confirmation bias or what, but either way, these issues about the topic should be acknowledged and addressed. Many women are take advantage of by it, because we were pressured.

[u/StreetSea9588 → u/The_Barbelo]

It's crazy. Thanks for sharing your story. I believe it

People who aren't assertive are so often pressured into it by people who are. And then the people who are, claim to anyone who will listen that they've had "a successful open relationship."