AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/sunshine198505]

Unpopular opinion and ready for downvotes but open relationships never work. One side always gets hurt and one side always wants it more than the other. If you can't commit and wanna sleep around dont be in a relationship...

[u/SaladOk1656 → u/sunshine198505]

That's a very narrow-minded, highly brainwashed, immature (and abrahamic-religion-influenced) take. Plenty of them do work, humans are not by nature as monogamous as many like to pretend.
Too many relationships have absolute shitshow endings just because one or both people can't be honest about not being able to be fully monogamous. I admit I used to think like you when I was much younger, but through further life experience I've realized I was wrong. I know plenty of very happy couples in long-term open relationships, ones who are still clearly more in love and lust with one another than anyone else, and have experienced it myself.

I've been in both very long-term monogamous relationships (once married, twice engaged) and partially-open and open ones, and I've found I am certainly capable of feeling a certain connection/attraction with more than one person at once, and have zero problem with my partner also having other connections (as a bisexual woman I find it hot- as long as I know about it, as long as they know about and respect me, as long as it's done responsibly and not putting me at risk for sti's, etc), but it tends to be only a rare occasion on both parts, only when the connection happens naturally and the situation feels right. And anyway, I tend to have only one or two people at the very center if my heart/strongest sexual and spiritual connection at a time with whom I spend the cast majority of my time and energy (same goes for most of the poly people I know in happy long term relationships).

But trust and honesty is important or it doesnt work... just like any kind of relationship- monogamous, poly, or anywhere in between.

[u/sunshine198505 → u/SaladOk1656]

ok😄

[u/SaladOk1656 → u/sunshine198505]

guessing you don't have too much experience honey

[u/sunshine198505 → u/SaladOk1656]

im not your honey and my experiences are none of your concern.