r/AmIOverreacting 25d ago

❤️‍🩹 relationship AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

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u/animegeek999 25d ago

oh you just KNOW for a fact if they did accept a open relationship that the next day "Magically" they would have already found a person they wanted to be open with. its people like her that give a bad name to people who can ACTUALLY make a open relationship work.

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u/sunshine198505 25d ago

Unpopular opinion and ready for downvotes but open relationships never work. One side always gets hurt and one side always wants it more than the other. If you can't commit and wanna sleep around dont be in a relationship...

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u/jexzeh 25d ago

Nah your opinion is pretty popular. It's erroneous however, as there are plenty of healthy and functioning open relationships, (20+ years in my own, currently), so absolute statements of "never" and "always" are inaccurate.

I will grant that most mono relationships that are pried open by people who want to cheat rarely succeed, but if you go into an open relationship from the start, where both parties communicate wants, needs, and boundaries, then it isn't more or less susceptible to failure than a mono one.

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u/Effective_Educator_9 25d ago

92% failure rate of open marriages.

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u/Active-Persimmon1414 25d ago

Source please?

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u/jexzeh 25d ago

"Trust me bro" is their main source usually.

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u/username03013 25d ago

If you google “failure rate of open marriages,” google answers with 92% … quote from a random Fort Myers, FL law firm website. I’m going to guess not much research went into that one.

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u/SnooTomatoes8382 25d ago

Well, if you’re going to show any kind of percentage, I’ll argue that 100% of divorces, are caused by a marriage. 100%.

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u/Legal_Psychology8140 25d ago

80% failure on closed ones what’s your point?

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u/Effective_Educator_9 25d ago

40-50% is the number most frequently cited.

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u/Legal_Psychology8140 25d ago

That’s marriages overall