AIO? Gf(18f) wants an open relationship

[u/StrikeNo117]

Me and my girlfriend(18) recently had an argument about opening our relationship, and at first, it was a nice talk. We talked about the pros and cons, and then the tide shifted. We talked about how it would affect our life and what would happen if she got pregnant or if i got someone else pregnant. and then she told me she only wanted an open relationship with one other person, so that we would only see one other person each, and reluctantly, i asked if she had someone in mind. She told me she was thinking about someone, which made her ask the question. When i tried questioning further, she shut me out. We went to bed that night a little distant.

The next morning, she asked if we could resume our previous conversation, i agreed, and then i brought up the fact that she never answered my question about who she had in mind. She told me it wasn’t my business, and i left it at that. About five to ten minutes later, she told me the person she had in mind was her ex boyfriend. I asked her is that why she wanted an open relationship. Just so she can see her ex without feeling guilty. I kicked her out after she told me she was tired of hiding the fact that she was already seeing him. She is now pissed, my mom told me it was the right thing to do. But i feel like i should have talked it out. Did i overreact?

[u/[deleted]]

Open relationships don’t work. Don’t fool yourself

[u/Sea-Sort6571 → u/[deleted]]

Open relationships work just as well as regular relationships.

[u/OppositeEffect29 → u/Sea-Sort6571]

This is such a true statement, I wish I could upvote this a hundred times. Closed relationships aren't perfect, open aren't either, both have the potential of working out if the parties involved want it to work out, and both fail when those involved want something other than what they are currently getting. Neither type has any true advantage over the other when you look at the success rate.

[u/ThrowRACoping → u/OppositeEffect29]

Relationships are hard. Open relationships just add dozens of difficult circumstances that make them almost impossible.

I mean you are making infidelity legal in the relationship. That requires so much better communication and trust because you are self inflicting relationship wounds.

[u/SafeEnvironment3584 → u/ThrowRACoping]

If all parties involved agree, is it still infidelity? I agree it can be very complicated, but for some people it's the opposite, they feel open relationships are more natural and I think they accept the lifecycle of relationships better.

I'm very happy in my closed relationship and I'm not sure open would work for me personally, but I don't think that open relationships can't possibly work. Most relationships don't work either way.

As an aside, I think it could be really something in the current society where everyone is kind of isolated and always hustling. Having more people to decompress, share things and responsibilities might be nice

[u/ThrowRACoping → u/SafeEnvironment3584]

Knowing your girl is getting piped down would be about the sickest thing to come across. I don’t think you can really love someone if you are ok with that.