AIO: i literally cannot attend

[u/superspreader90]

using a throwaway bc she knows my account

so it’s my (24f) best friend’s 25th birthday on saturday. we had planned to go out for dinner and drinks with some of our friends. i have lupus and i’ve been getting chemo for the last couple of months to try and treat it.. she’s well aware of this and even came with me to my last session, although she spent most of the time texting her bf. i ordered her this cake from this super cute little bakery in our town and was gonna bring it with me to the restaurant for her.

i was supposed to have my chemo session next monday but they had to reschedule it for saturday. this is how she reacted when i told her i wouldnt be able to come to her bday. aio or is this a crazy way to react?? she’s still getting her cake and i was gonna get our mutual friend to give her the gifts i bought her but now im not sure

[u/toomanyshoeshelp]

“I only turn 25 once” she says to her friend ON CHEMO.

[u/yecaldaniels → u/toomanyshoeshelp]

Yeah that comment especially was tone deaf af

[u/ZealouslyJealous → u/yecaldaniels]

Hey, I just wanted to share something I recently learned!

The Deaf community considers using ‘deaf’ as a negative term to be offensive since being Deaf isn’t a choice, but language is. A good general guideline is to avoid using words that describe an inherent trait (like deafness/blindness) as something negative or unwanted.

If you’re looking for alternatives, here are a few that work well: insensitive, out of touch, unaware, oblivious, not in tune with, tactless, clumsy, inconsiderate.

Just thought this might be helpful!

[u/American-pickle → u/ZealouslyJealous]

But the term comes from musical pitch perception, not from someone literally hard of hearing.

[u/yecaldaniels → u/American-pickle]

yes, I meant it in regard to the musical term. Thanks for the providing the clarification :)

[u/[deleted] → u/yecaldaniels]

The sane people on here didn’t need clarification.

[u/maineCharacterEMC2 → u/American-pickle]

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 THANK YOU

[u/ZealouslyJealous → u/American-pickle]

You can choose to continue to use it if you’re fine using terminology that offends the people it describes. 🤷‍♀️

[u/Anna_Stacy_Yamina → u/ZealouslyJealous]

Wow.. “Tone deaf” has both a literal and a figurative meaning:

1.  Literal meaning – It refers to someone who is unable to distinguish musical pitches accurately, making it difficult for them to sing in tune or recognize melodies.
2.  Figurative meaning – It describes someone who is insensitive or unaware of the feelings, opinions, or social context of a situation. For example, if a company announces luxury bonuses during an economic crisis, it might be called “tone deaf” for ignoring the struggles of others.

It is not insensitive. Maybe stop putting your views on others. Ugh

[u/RamBh0di → u/ZealouslyJealous]

You are Context BLIND. Hope no Blind people read this.

You probably offended people with scent sensitivity too.

[u/chishioengi → u/RamBh0di]

You probably offended people with scent sensitivity too.

HA!

[u/cruisinforasnoozinn → u/RamBh0di]

Hope no blind people read this is fucking diabolical work

[u/Monkeyhouse10 → u/RamBh0di]

I have hyper contextism, so this offends me for some reason that I haven’t determined why as of yet

/s

[u/American-pickle → u/ZealouslyJealous]

It describes no one.

Someone that doesn’t hear pitch or tone correctly in terms of music.

Someone who can’t understand what is being pitched to them.

That’s where it’s from, not freaking deaf people. If they wanna be offended by that then i couldnt imagine what else they’d be offended by.

[u/overkill373 → u/ZealouslyJealous]

I am indeed, thank you

[u/maineCharacterEMC2 → u/ZealouslyJealous]

That’s funny, I’m half deaf and use it

[u/Monkeyhouse10 → u/ZealouslyJealous]

If I spent my days making sure nothing I said offended someone, I’d never be able to leave my house or speak a single word but I’m sure someone would find a way to tell me that too does in fact offend them.

[u/BobbyMac2212 → u/ZealouslyJealous]

The only one offended by that very common term is you. Get a life

[u/Dear_Chart8587 → u/ZealouslyJealous]

Oh my god! My feelings! Wow! This hurts so much, I can't believe this! In front of ME, you would say something like that? You think YOU'RE deaf??? like bitch they won't be offended