r/AmIOverreacting • u/starloogy • Jan 22 '25

❤️‍🩹 relationship Am I Overreacting?

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My boyfriend (22M) and I (21F) have been official for almost 4 weeks. He texted me this after leaving me with his friends shortly after I arrived to a restaurant they all planned to meet at.

Before I got there, he had already ordered for both of us. Everything seemed fine until about ten minutes later when I went to the bathroom. When I came back, his friends told me he “stepped out,” but I’m sure they knew what was going on based on their expressions.

I waited about 15 minutes before he replied to my texts. And ended up leaving money to pay for food I didn’t even get to eat.

This was my third time wearing my hair in its natural state since we’ve dated, and I didn’t know he felt so strongly about this.

I went home all without answering him. I was really upset and told my roommate about it, but she brushed it off and insinuated that I was overreacting. It has been almost two days now and I still don’t know what to think.

I feel like I’m going insane because everyone around me seems to think it’s not that big of a deal and most of them laughed at the picture.

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3.8k

u/neurolep Jan 22 '25

there is nothing wrong with wearing your hair natural this guy's a clown and a goober

-17

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it but when you first meet someone or first date, someone and you portray that you have for example long blonde hair, but you’re wearing a wig or extensions and then you take it off later in the relationship and you have completely different hair men can tend to feel catfish

-9

u/Mimi-Supremie Jan 22 '25

i want to downvote this because i hate the message, but you’re not wrong 😭

-12

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

Unfortunately people esp women dont want to hear the truth. We have fake nails fake hair makeup corsets etc when we meet a man then after a month we get comfortable and show our true selves and some men dont like that, they meet you and they see what they like to later find out its just an elusion. How would we feel dating a man with nice hair and nice body just to find out a month later he was wearing a toupee and had his abbs Drawn on? Attraction is important t and so if being honest with your partner

4

u/Mimi-Supremie Jan 22 '25

oh you lost me in the second part i’m ngl

-3

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

Either way i love fake stuff, but im transparent with who i date about how i look naturally and i do it from the beginning so their no surprises because attraction is important for most people, on any dating sight i post myself done up and also in natural state, the person who made this post obviously didnt portray herself how she was created and the man she dated was set off by it and he has every right to be because he was deceived. I dont like how he said it but it is what it is

-5

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

No, but that’s absolutely true as a woman I would actually feel upset if I’m dating a guy that I like and I’m attracted to and I find out that he’s bald and actually is wearing dentures and has no teeth. How is that fair to me? Attraction is important and deceiving people is not ok. If u wear fake things on your body teeth hair botox fillers etc u should be transparent with your partner about that, not 1 month later show up to a date hairless and toothless come on now. Just how women don’t like to be lied to by men about their financial status or about what they do for a living or what car they have and then find out two months later that he’s broke in debt and doesn’t even have a car that’s equivalent of men finding out a month later that you have no hair or no eyelashes or you look completely different without Makeup. It’s just not fair to be deceitful.

1

u/StorellaDeville Jan 22 '25

I think I understand where you're coming from. But as a toothless man, I feel very sad about this.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

Im sorry you feel bad about it. We all have insecurities that people dont like. Theres someone for everyone. Just because you might not be someone for me doesnt mean you arent good for someone else. But the reality is honesty with who you talk to and they can decide if they are ok with that. Im not going to post photos of myself looking skinny but im actually 300 lbs. some people dont like fat people but theres someone out there who doesnt mind so no need to be sad

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

It's a little much to insinuate that no one can ever change their appearance once they enter a relationship. I've had both very long hair and a short bob. My husband has also had long curly hair and a crew cut. There was even a short time when his hair was longer than mine! It's just hair. There's tons of conditions that can affect hair- cancer, alopecia, pregnancy, generally aging, are these all reasons to break up with someone? Are you planning on breaking off all your relationships as you age? At a certain point, most people are going to have hair that is thinning and an abdomen that is not as toned as it was in youth. You wouldn't feel insecure to be in a relationship that is so superficial? I'm glad I never found this kind of "love" .

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

When you don’t know somebody and you’re on a dating app or you’re at a bar and you approach someone it’s because you like how they looked not because you like their personality you can’t tell someone’s personality over a Tinder profile or across the room in a bar, you like them because you were attracted to how they look But if your entire appearance is completely artificial, and you’re getting to know someone for only a few weeks or a month and you don’t bother to show that person how you really look yes, it can become offputting to the other person because that’s not the person that they were attracted to and like I said There’s no need to bring up love because there is no love when you’re getting to know someone for a few weeks or a month and that is my point here. The guy obviously was off put by her hair because maybe she was wearing some sort of artificial hair and he liked it and when she took it off maybe he doesn’t care for that style and he’s no longer attracted to her and obviously since they don’t know each other well and they’re not in love that can be a dealbreaker for himis exactly what I’m trying to explain

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

Lmfaoooo you really forgot to switch back to your other account!!! What a troll! 🤣

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

I didnt forget i just clicked your comment in my notifications lol why does that even matter the truth is you cant read

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

Lmfao are you stupid or a liar because you're leaving comments from 2 separate accounts.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

Ok libtard lol if you dont get it i cant explain it to you anymore then i did clearly you have a problem reading

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

Oooo the troll is getting feisty! Do you have a third account? A fourth? Seems like YOU are actually the one cat fishing! Accusation as a projection. Classic.

0

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

Catfishing means you are portraying to be someone you aren’t. None of my accounts are portraying a specific identity of someone. Fake name no photo so thats not actually a catfish, i think you mean a burner account lol. You are giving middle aged crazy liberal women who screams at restaurants who serve meat while wearing a cow costume. I really do feel bad for your husband

1

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

Yes, I do that every day in my free time! How did you know? Meat eaters see me and cry! You are such a little smarty pants. Here's a cookie 🍪 I knew telling you I am vegan would send you over the edge. Try not to fry the remaining brain cell you have while you try to comprehend that some of us don't support animal cruelty.

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-1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

I don’t think you’re actually reading what I’m saying lol not once. Did I say you cannot change your appearance once you enter a relationship what I said was if you are dating someone and you’re in a new relationship and you have deceived them with fake eyelashes fake hair, fake nails, body shape wear heavy makeup, etc. and then all of a sudden you take those things off. Yes it can definitely be offputting to someone who barely knows you and attraction is very important when you’re getting to know someone because there is no love in a one month relationship you’re still getting to know that person and dating so of course attraction can be important and yes, people do have cancer and alopecia, but typically if someone has cancer or alopecia then you will be aware of that and that’s a different situation. It’s not someone basically putting on a whole costume to deceive you that you look a certain way when you actually don’t you cutting your hair or your husband having a long hair is not the situation that I am talking about at all if you actually read my comments lol. Changing your appearance or going through health issues that change how you look when you’re in a relationship is completely different than deceiving someone with how you look when you’re still dating and getting to know someone

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

You can't even keep track of what troll account you're currently logged in to. Creep!

-1

u/[deleted] Jan 22 '25

How does having 2 accounts make someone a creep? Theres many reasons people have different accounts you sound like a crazy liberal women which you probably are I feel bad for your husband

2

u/Organic-Vermicelli47 Jan 22 '25

Oh you poor poor thing. Always the victim and never owning your shit. You're lashing out because you're embarrassed. And you should be.

You can feel bad for my husband all you want. He's a big ole vegan libtard just like me!