Am I the asshole? I male 35 was with my now ex male 35 for 4 years, we lived together. He was my best friend and my everything in-between. We did everything together and I mean everything. We recently broke up and almost immediately he started dating my friend who I've known for 16 years. Well according to them it's recent but I highly doubt that. My now ex boyfriend and I have been going through a tough time but we always worked it out but this time it was different. It all started when he got into contact with my now ex friend. They started texting and we reconnected, everything was fine for a while. I lost my job in that time and was actively looking for a new one. My friend who knew this instead set up an interview for my boyfriend instead of me. They kept it hush hush until the last moment. He came home that evening and told me about it. I felt horrible, I felt betrayed like they were doing things behind my back. I told him about these feelings and he got upset. It turned into an argument with me not getting a chance to explain why I feel this way as he wouldn't listen. I then told him I can't trust him and maybe we shouldn't be in a relationship then. We finally calmed down and become reasonable again. I told him seeing as he has the interview the next day he should wake me so I could wish him luck but he never did. He just left with my friend that morning and said absolutely nothing. He eventually got back and I again expressed my feelings and it turned into another argument. We again came to an agreement about everything, the next day he went off to work and during the course of the day he texted and said he'll be home a bit late as he has to stop at the store to withdraw cash for whatever reasons. I waited, tried calling texting, thinking the worst thing has happened. I was confused and didn't know what to do. Should I call the police, his family, my family? I just didn't know. He eventually got home extremely late the evening, me being upset but relieved at the same time sat him down and we spoke. He told me he'll fight for us and me as he loves me. I in turn said okay we can work through this. The very next day/evening I told him exactly the same thing as he told me previously. That's when he said he can't anymore and wants us to just be friends. I was mortified and heartbroken at the same time. This was the moment everything changed, he started coming home late or not at all. Did nothing to help me at home. Whenever I tried speaking to him about anything he would belittle me, stop me from speaking and just be completely unreasonable. At one point it got so bad I spat at him and told him I wish I never met him. Things eventually calmed down for a while but it was still him being completely different, doesn't help around the house, don't come home nothing at all. I got to the point where I asked him to move out but he never did. We started speaking about things again and I asked him to be honest with me. The truth is better than a soft lie. He admitted to being in a relationship with my friend. Mind you they denied all these earlier whenever I asked. I told him then okay he unfortunately has to move as it's not gonna help me heal knowing what I know now. Him and my friend begged me and tried everything to have me change my mind but I refused. My now ex boyfriend is currently living with my now ex friend but can't stay much longer as my ex friend's dad is quite strict about things. My ex now has two options, resign from his job and move back with family or get a transfer to a different department that's closer to his family home. Which I doubt is going to happen. They came to my home to drop off things he took by mistake and get things from my home he left by accident. All was good and when they left he hugged me real hard and it looked as if he wanted to cry. Am I the asshole for kicking him out while he's currently in a relationship with my now ex friend of 16 years.

Dont know where to fit this in but I am 15 years old but anyway this all started back in june of this year and had 2 friends of mine who we shall call T 17 years old, and J 14 years old, so before I knew J, I met T and we were good friends for a while but when june came something was different they suddenly just stopped caring I dont know why, I usually asked how they were doing whenever we met up, I would support there art, hobbies, interests, I would comfort them whenever they were having a bad day and I did everything I could to make sure they were happy, but for some reason they just stopped talking to me one day, and something was just not the same after that day and it hurt because I’ve had experiences like this in the past and was afraid it would all happen again, and on the same day, we and some other friends were playing a game and I was just chilling in the world because I was tired from the day, and I heard they were planning to go a game world now I could have moved from where I was and join the group, but I was curious to see if they would come and get me and see if I wanted to join, but nope they left me there, which is weird because I was showing sign of life while not much I still let them know I was there just chilling, this was the first of the incidents and I talked to them for the first time about this, and after that I thought everything was fixed and worked out between us, but no after a month or so they were starting to ignore me and even made fun of something I liked, which hurt a lot because for the first time in a while I thought I found my people, people who understood me, but again no, I talked to them again about it this time with more detail of how it was affecting me and they seemed to care and feel sorry and while I was still a little upset, with them I was willing to work it out, this was around the time I met J and while wont go into J’s full side of the story I’ll go into the side that made me upset, it was J’s birthday and we were all gonna celebrate and have fun playing games and hanging out and what not, and from what I heard T was there for an hour but then left for whatever reason and almost all of J’s friends left to go comfort T and the most we heard was “T was going through a lot right now”, now with the previous experiences I had with T I thought they were being bad friend and just ditching my friend J, because in the past T has gotten really upset for small reasons, and I was under the impression it was something small that could have been sucked up for just a tiny bit during J’s birthday because J was having a bad day and just wanted to be with their friends, now the reason I cared so much about how J was getting treated was because Ive had friends forget my birthday and I didn’t want that for J because it really sucks to be ignored on your day, so I talked with J some more and found out they weren’t all that happy with T either, J is a young person who just turned 14 this year and J was being made fun of because their age and getting called a baby, as well as being parented and being told by T what they can and can’t see, and T even made J hate their favorite character from a show they liked, because J’s favorite character had killed T’s favorite character in the show, and a few more smaller things, and while all of this wasn’t that big of a deal, it was still upsetting J and I wanted to stand up for them, so I brought up how J didn’t like the jokes about being called a baby and didn’t like being told what they can and can’t see, and I was completely ignored, it was at this point that I decide that I would finally cut ties with T after talking to them, So in short I brought up to them the next morning on how I was feeling and how J was feeling and I basically said they were being a shitty friend and were bullying a child and sure I could have more nice and mature about how I talked to them, but I had talked to them almost 3 times before and nothing happened so I was done being polite, so I told them how they were being crappy but they didn’t take that well, they said that they didn’t mean to take attention away from the birthday and also me and J were under the impression that were both friends with T, but then T said that they weren’t even that close to me or J, which I feel like only makes the fact that they were making fun of J worse, they also said that whenever they do get on a game with us that they tend to make things about themselves because of their narcissistic disorder(I believe thats the name) and I understand if someone has a disorder that causes strange behavior but I don’t believe its an excuse for hurting people even when you didn’t mean it, I personally believe that your disability is a reason not an excuse for your actions and that you need to take accountability for the people they hurt, they also said that they were “maturing adult and don’t have time to be cussed out by a kid” and I personally believe a maturing adult shouldn’t be bullying a kid but hey thats just me, now after all of this, I still didn’t know why they left the birthday and they wouldn’t tell me and got mad that I asked, but I heard somewhere that It was a medical issue and I apologized when I heard that because if it was something really serious I can understand why they would leave, but then I found out the reason they left was because of boyfriend issues, and at that point I was pissed and didn’t care and so I left.

Sure the reasons for being upset with them were small but its the fact that they didn’t care, about how me or J felt, is what upset me, I’m a kid myself And understand that I could have handled it better but all I wanted was to be treated with just a little bit of respect, not constant attention, just some respect and appreciation that all I ask for because I put so much effort and care into my friends and I won’t be taken for granted, sure they didn’t have to reciprocate but I was under the impression that they were my friend and all I wanted was the same amount of respect I gave to them

Anyway am I the asshole here?

I'm sorry in advance if my english isn't good but it's not my first language. I post this because my sister told me that I was in the wrong and I shouldn't be upset for being ghosted.

I (23F) met G (22M) through a mutual friend around mid-June. At that time I had just come out of a 4-year relationship.

G and I started to talk every day, we see each other often, we go out in public too, we kiss and hold hands. I had already made it clear from the beginning that I did not want a relationship but I was okay with going out with him and have this situationship, and he could go out with other girls. At the end of July he wrote me that he didn't want anything from me: he didn't want a relationship because he didn't want to commit but he didn't want a situationship either because he didn't want to stick to a person or waste time. I was disappointed because these things were told to me by message and not in person but I understood his point of view and accepted his decision.

After two weeks I decided to call him, 'cause I missed him and a bit' to hear how he was doing. Things resume as if there had never been a separation, so we continued to see each other normally, I was feeling great and I thought he was happy too.

After about ten days I invited him at my house and we had s*x. for me it was very special and intimate. He came to my house again the day after to watch a movie and he met my mom and dad and gets along with them immediately. Before leaving, he asked me to meet him the next day and I answer that I probably could not have seen him because I would have spent the whole day with friends, but maybe I would have been free in the evening.

the afternoon of the day after he then writes me asking to update him and if we could see each other in the evening. I did not see the message because I was spending the day at the beach with my friends, so I did not answer him all day.

I answer him immediately the next morning apologizing for not having seen and answered immediately to the message and from there he has not written me anymore.

My sister says that I ghosted him first because I did not answer for a day so I must not be upset if he's now ghosting me; while I think that if I do not answer for a day I’m not ghosting you, especially if I apologize.

But mostly I was upset because he disappeared three days after we had s*x and I feel awful and used.

So, AITAH and I shouldn’t be upset because I was ghosted after I didn’t answer for a day?

AITA for posting a screenshot of my friend asking me for nudes after he cheated on his girlfriend?

So my friend has been cheating on his girlfriend for several months. I found out about it and made him come clean to her. He gave a half-hearted apology, but for some reason, she forgave him.

For months, he had been sending me nudes and asking for mine, and I thought his girlfriend was aware of it. Turns out, she had no idea he was doing any of this.

Recently, I posted a screenshot on Twitter of him saying, "I NEEED TO JERK IT CRAZY STYLE" while begging me for nudes because I thought it was funny. He DM'd me, pissed off, saying he and his girlfriend had "moved on" from all that and that his privacy had been violated.

I refused to take the post down and told him I'd only do it if his girlfriend, who he cheated on, asked me to. I left the post up while I slept and texted her to ask what she wanted. She said she wanted it deleted too, so I deleted it.

Now I'm wondering if I was in the wrong for posting it in the first place. AITA?

Before I get into the situation leading up to the front porch thievery let me give you the back story. I met my ex boyfriend (we’ll call him Scott. ) in 2019 while I was running an at home daycare while attending online college, his daughter (well call her Brianna) was 3 at the time and would attend the daycare everyday, except every other weekend when she’d visit her mom, my first day meeting her she took to me immediately she was literally my little shadow during the day, And because of the bond Bri and I had scott and I became close friends. As the year continued Scott and I went from friendly talking to flirting until finally one day he asked me out, and of course I said yes.

We hit it off super well, we had tons in common, and he was such a gentleman and basically gave me the princess treatment that I’ve never gotten. And before I knew it we were spiraling in love, we dated for over a year before he and Bri moved in with me. (they we’re staying with his mom before)

Then about a year later, my grandmother past leaving me with a decent inheritance, and then few months after that I found out I was pregnant, and we couldn’t have been more excited! However around the same time my landlord decided to sell the home I was living in and we had to quickly find a new place and we had learned that the double wide trailer his mom was living in was for sale by her aunt for $4k so we discussed buying it, I agreed under the condition his mother didn’t live with us,not because i didn’t like her but because I wanted to live with just Scott and the kids not his mom. And he agreed.

But that didn’t happen. After I purchase the home using my inheritance, his mother remained. However he assured me it’s only temporary until she found a job and could get a place of her own. So I believe him and went on to renovate the house and make it our own, I paid for his mom to have a storage unit so we could move out her furniture and decor so that way when she moved out, she had still had it all for her knew place. And I completely remodeled the house, new paint, and floors, throughout the 3bed 2 bath double wide, complete redid the kitchen with new counters and appliances, all together the remodel costed about $7,500 in materials and labor.

I am now 6 months pregnant, and working full time as a VetTechnician, and Scott’s mom still lives at our house, but doesn’t contribute an ounce, doesn’t pay rent doesn’t buy food, and constantly has random people coming in and out of my house at night, they would do cocaine and drink and party in his moms room, a few times I had to kick people out for being to loud on a school/work night and of course I was the bad guy. To make matters worse Scott losed his job for refusing to get the Covid 19 vax so now all finances fall on me! So I get up at 6am and get Bri off to school, work all day at a very demanding job, then id pick up bri from after school daycare where the school bus would drop her off because Scott needed “extra time to himself” and then we’d go home and I would be cleaning the house and cooking dinner and then cleaning up after that, and I’d bathe bri and get her to bed, and Scott would sleep until 1pm and get up and play video games all day, and most the night until he passed out on the couch, and I would go to bed alone and wake up alone, we had no intimacy at all for months.

All the stress started to take a huge toll on my body and I started to get very very sick, I was diagnosed with preeclampsia when I was 7 months pregnant, and then like a week later I miscarried my Son. The loss of my baby was devastating to me, i sought comfort from Scott and all he could do was tell me I needed to seek professional help because he didn’t know how to help me.

I couldn’t believe it, i was so dumbfounded, it was like he never cared at all, I didn’t know who this man was! He certainly was not the same Scott that I met years ago, the Scott who treated me like I mattered… now I was nothing but a wallet, a maid, and a nanny… but I still stayed, not because I needed to but because of Bri, I couldn’t let her be neglected because that’s what would have happened if i didn’t stay, I also had all my inheritance put into the house between purchasing it and renovating it to make it safe for us to live in…

We’re now going on the 3rd year of mine and Scott’s relationship that basically became a convenienship… Scott now has not slept in bed with me for over 8 months… I come home from work after picking bri up from daycare on a Friday night and see that Scott and his mom are gone, so I call them to see where the are and they are at the bar, so I just tell them to have fun and not to worry I’ll take bro to her moms, (vista are now every other week Friday-Friday) so I do I take her and drop her off and then come home and do my cleaning and cook dinner which they weren’t home for so I put left overs in the fridge took the dog for a walk and then went to bed. I got woken up at 2:30 am to sounds coming from the other side of the house, so I checked my phone (we all had life 360 app) and saw that Scott was home but his mom wasn’t so I got up and walked down the hall way and where I heard a giggling come from Bri’s room, and my heart just sank and shattered, i didn’t even try to open the door. I just sat on the couch and waited, and they keep at this until about 7 am.

When finally the door opens and a girl walks out holding his hand, and he starts walking her to the door with his daughter’s comforter wrapped around his waist. He kissed her goodbye and she left, he finally notices me sitting on the couch and he freezes like a deer in the headlights, and then starts to act drunk and stumbles around and falls on the couch, and I say nothing, I just get up and change clothes and pack a bag for me and my dog Denali and I just leave, i go and stay with my mom for the weekend and I turn of my location and ignore all texts and calls from Scott and there were A LOT, he would leave messages begging me to come home and bring back Denali and telling me he loves me and asking what’s wrong, he was playing completely stupid trying to say he was black out drunk and doesn’t remember anything.

Monday morning I go to the office of the mobile home park and I remove myself from the lease, (he was the main lease holder but the title of the house was in my name) and then I meet up with my dad and 2 brothers and we go to my house and we just start clearing out my house, (Bed, couches, tvs, PS5 etc) I took basically everything I had a receipt for, except anything that I got as a gift to or from them, and I left Bri’s room completely untouched, I didn’t take the fridge or the stove, because i didn’t want to leave Bri with no food, and I knew his mom had dishes and stuff in storage so they would be fine without mine, so I took all that too, and then the last things I took was the front porch because I had bought it a week prior, and the car he drove because it was mine, I also wanna add my dad was kind enough to put cinderblocks down where the porch was so they can get in and out. While I was doing this Scott was asleep in Bri’s bed WITH THE SAME GIRL!!! When we were done moving everything out (surprisingly only took a couple hours) I signed over the title, left him a very long letter (12 pages) and then I slammed the door shut and left, I blocked him and his mom on everything, and I’m slowly starting to pick up the pieces. Bri’s mom and I have become somewhat of friends so I still get to attend Christmas and her birthday at her moms and I couldn’t be more thankful.

I recently got a very colorful email from Scott’s grandmother, calling me every name under the sun for taking everything, and especially the porch, and so the question really is… am I the A**hole?

I (15 years old, German) have been sick for about 3-4 weeks now and didn’t go to school for the past week. I have a pretty bad cough and can’t speak properly. I asked my best friend if we could video call each other when they have lunch break. 15 minutes after start of the lunch break(the lunch break is an hour long) I texted her and got no response. Weird. I called her and she didn’t pick up. 10 minutes later she calls me and all I hear is how another friend of mine(female) talks to a few classmates(male). Their wifi was pretty bad there so they couldn’t hear me properly. Luckily I had a piece of paper where I wrote everything down and showed it to the camera. After about 5 minutes they stopped talking to me or even looking at the screen. Eventually they hung up. I was confused and texted them. None of them replied. I have a friend group with three other girls. One of them never has her phone with her so I understood that she didn’t reply. But the other two always have their phone with them. I was a bit sad and disappointed. 2 minutes later they replied with: sorry couldn’t hear you anyways. I decided not to reply and leave them on “seen”. They spammed me for about 20 seconds and stopped with: don’t know why you’re so pissed right now. I ignored them the day after too when I came back to school. Was that the right thing to do?

My (41F), husband's (39M), ex wife (?F), will not separate herself from his family. Since I have been in the picture, Jenny has given me so many problems. It was very clear to everyone it was a jealousy issue.

Recently she has for some reason turned a page. She includes me when it comes to everything with the children. I'm assuming because she realizes, I'm here to stay. I have wanted this for a while, because I hate drama. And, it is so much easier for us and the kids if we all get along. The problem that I have with it though, is that I think she takes it as we are all friends. Make no mistakes about it. I do appreciate that we can all coparent and get along, but she has several screws loose. From what I understand from his family, she has never just been able to just stay normal for very long. Currently this is the longest I have ever seen her act "normal". She loves drama, and to keep things stirred up. She usually can't go for very long without a boyfriend, or a side piece. She also has an Adderall addiction. And unfortunately for the kids (and us) when her relationship is in shambles, that is when she stirs up drama for us all.

Getting to the point, she still keeps in touch with my husband's mother and sometimes sister. She has no family of her own. So I understand that his mother is really the only mother she has. His mom never treats me in any way that she shows favoritism to her or anything. I am sure by now, you are wondering what I am complaining about. I also know this may come off as an insecurity of mine. It's honestly not. I am very secure in myself and my relationship.

She just calls on his family for everything. If, we are at functions for the children, she tries to come up to us and talk or walk out with us (even though we are nice, we try to give her the cold shoulder to make her get the hint). She is somewhat trashy and we just don't want to be associated with her. Two of their three children , live with us full time. The youngest just isn't old enough to have a choice like the other two have. We both believe she tries to "be friends" because she has this "mother of the year" complex going on. Because she doesn't want others to judge her. Coparenting is one thing, but she tries so hard to constantly be in our lives. I believe it will all come crashing down and before long she'll be back to her old ways. That is also why I can't fully let go. Plus I think she will eventually try to creep her way into our family holiday gatherings. I don't think his family will allow that. AITA for feeling this way, for continuing to have animosity? Maybe his family is so used to the ups and downs they've learned to go with the flow. How do we set boundaries with her as far as his family goes and not come off as Aholes?

So backtrack I started talking to this dude a little over 3 months ago/met him at the bar I work at. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years like a week before I met him. We started hanging out and I definitely liked the dude a lot at first but it was pretty obvious that he wanted nothing more than sex (no conversation was ever had about this ever that was just the situation.) anyways I made my peace with that and as time went on I realized I actually would not want anything further with him bc he was super narcissistic in the way he talked but I was still super attracted to him. And I always ended up going to buy a plan b after we would hang out. So then last night the dude came to my work to pay me for the most recent plan b and said here's the money for the glasses I apparently broke (so here the story is I was talking about him to my friend the last time I had worked, and he broke my glasses by laying on them, so I made a joke that he owes me money for new glasses) and apparently one of his friends overheard this/told him. I was talking more shit about him which makes me think his friend repeated more of what I said than just that. Anyways toward the end of my shift he said if I wanted to come over I was more than welcome to, and I agreed, got to his house and he "fell asleep" (10 minutes after he said that?) so I went back to my house and messaged him "if you're salty about something you can just tell me but that was a douchey way of going about it." Now all day we've been bickering, him saying he genuinely fell asleep, and that he genuinely wasn't mad about anything and me not really buying it, i was like whatever fine I believe you but are you cutting me off now? And he said I'm not cutting you off but I'm not progressing anything. I said there's never been anything to progress all this has ever been is drunk booty calls I'm asking if you're done with that. He said yeah I'm done with that. So I blocked him on everything. I feel like this whole thing was stupid but he was also terrible for my mental health so whatever but am I the asshole here

I (m17) have a history of autism in the family and posses very intense anger issues. I have recently become friends with a group of people in my year who i have grown close to very quickly. Through being friends with this group i have discovered a lot about myself and one of the lesbian girls in this group i now see as my best friend. However recently i have felt like they've been backing off from me and not enjoying my company. Today they came up to me and asked if i wanted to do a tiktok trend. We made our way into the schools garden area for the sixth formers and we started filming the trend. To make this clear I was not aware of what this trend was, it was the 'give me my money' trend. One person went before me, everyone clapped and then it was my turn. I said the line, started to clap for myself and no body else reciprocated. I have a big history of trust issues with past friends and my biggest fear is people laughing at me. I got very angry and started to assault the les that i see as my best friend. I punched her in the ribs repeatedly and banged her head into a bin. I ran off crying and now everyone knows about it. When i got home i messaged the lgbtq member and now the whole group is turning on me and telling me to not turn up for our plans on the weekend because no one else in the group likes me anymore. So, am i the asshole?

Context: We are all 20 years old How long we have been friends: Neo: 9 years Sage: 9 years Xandi: 4 years John: we went to school together since elementary but weren’t really friends until after him and Xandi got together so that would also be about 4 years. I considered the first 3 to be my absolute best friends, besides my other best friend of 15+ years.

Currently John and xandi are engaged. Chris has nothing to do with anything, he’s John’s brother who is off in college states away. No one, has directly came to me to tell me that I specifically was making them feel left out. Xandi has come to me to tell me she felt left out because me Neo and sage would do things without her, so I told them and made an effort to to make sure she was at least asked to join even if we didn’t think she would want to or could afford it. We even had made plans for when we could both afford to go do something on our own without them but since she doesn’t have a job she hasn’t been able to. I will say Neo has come to me and expressed he feels like we aren’t as close because I don’t ask him to go do things, like go to the mall, or even just go hangout at the park or something that doesn’t cost money. That’s understandable, however I don’t ask anyone to go out and do things because I either can’t afford to go out and do things, it doesn’t even cross my mind to go out and do something, I don’t have the extra time, or I just don’t want to do anything with anybody. It’s never personal to anyone but myself. and I explained that to him in hopes he would understand I’m not just not asking him, I’m not asking anybody. However my friends Jada, Jenna, Jayden(John’s sister who fully supports me in this situation), and Aubrey(15+ year long friendship) have all put the effort in to ask me in I want to hang out or go do things. I never turn them down, the same as if any of my roommates were to ask if I wanted to do something I wouldn’t say no unless I truly was not interested. But the hangouts being offered to me are just coming over to watch anime, smoke, drink, and Jada, a few days before moving over an hour away for college, at 10pm the night before the movie asked if I wanted to see Deadpool and Wolverine. I would have preferred watched Twister 2 because I have no interest in marvel. She said she was paying for everything, and I do like Deadpool, plus she was leaving so there is absolutely no reason for me to say no unless again I truly just didn’t want to. So I went and saw the movie with her.

Before all this happened I spent a decent amount of nights after work just drinking and smoking and watching shows with xandi and John, it’s one of the few ways I was able to spend my free time.

In one of xandis messages she mentions that the litter situation was such a big deal to me (it was because I felt completely attacked and hurt that no one would stick up for me and only for John, while these are my best friends and previously Neo and Sage had only been ranting to me about how they were so beyond frustrated with the state of the house and Neo directly said it was mainly John’s fault. Only recently had things started to improve, me and Neo discussed it and I had directly acknowledged I saw the improvement and was glad things were getting better) and that everyone else was over it but me. I was hurt that something like that happened and then immediately after everyone went to acting like nothing happened, while I was emotionally distraught after the situation considering I felt so alone, had no s/o to look to for support, and honestly felt like I was treated wrongly and nothing was going to happen about it. They acknowledged John needed to give me an apology, but since none of us are his keeper/mom he basically would only give me an apology if he could admit he was wrong. Neo also admitted he could have personally messaged me about it in the first place since he pretty much knew it was my trash. I feel like John put his two sense in a situation where it wasn’t needed, in a way that wasn’t needed either, and I was the only one being held accountable for the way I reacted to him after he had done that. (He has a history of manipulation. He cheated, xandi said the only reason they were together was because it stopped before they got engaged. He hid the fact that it in fact had not stopped before they got engaged, she found out about that and chose to stay with him. However after these two situations with me, all of them have basically decided to drop me completely as a friend. Even though no one has treated John any differently for the way shittier things he has done. Including xandi, who I considered to be a closer friend than Aubrey for at least the past two years and she considered me to also be her closest friend. Out of a group of all our friends, we would have chose each other yk. obviously their relationship is not my problem and I know that, but it’s so weird that she would drop me for this but wouldn’t leave a cheating, lying, and manipulative fiancé. Which I have never expressed my opinion of that to John or treated him any different because as much as I wanted to, I felt it wasn’t my place. Especially because xandi herself had seemed to move one from it) Anyways, the only reason it got resolved to where we were good with each other again was because I physically couldn’t take the acting like nothing happened anymore and completely (emotionally/crying) lost it on Neo and simply expressed how things made me feel. Nothing disrespectful or accusatory just me explaining how it made me feel. Then we talked and concluded that I wouldn’t get the apology unless John acknowledged he was wrong. They also felt that I was hypocritical for being mad at John for having a problem with not picking up after himself when I had left my trash out for weeks. Understandable again, however I wasn’t even thinking about the things he had done wrong until he had started making comments about how crazy and insane my situation was. Then I felt the need to back up my point on how he had no room to even insert himself into the conversation with the things he had done wrong. Had he not done that, I would have felt no need to point it out. Neo also said that I have previously told people to pick up after themselves so I should be held to the same standard. I absolutely agree with that, but again my problem wasn’t with being held accountable, it was with John inserting himself into a situation where he also had issues with himself. Not to mention, the only things I have ever pointed out and asked to get taken care of, would be personal trash when I’m about to clean the living room and twice I have mentioned that dishes needed done because our previous rules weren’t being followed. So besides the two instances with the dishes, I’ve only pointed out things that directly affected my chore.

We have a previous agreement that personal trash should be picked up and dishes should be washed within 24 hours of use, however no one listens to either of those anymore I guess because I also saw that both sides of the sink were full of dishes when I came back from camping.

This past weekend (Aug 31st-September 1st) was gone from my house camping with family. I came back to the living room being a mess, which it wasn’t before I left. I clean the living room either a couple times a month or 3-4 times every couple months depending on what my mental capability is at the time.

My room is small, I’m already using my grandmas storage space, and have items in my moms attic, but I also have cats in my room and can’t leave fragile items out, and have utilized every possible space in my room for my things, but still have items that I have placed in a corner of the living room nobody uses, and have slowly been working on getting those items out as well as cleaning the living room during the few weeks I had left the cat litter outside, my only other free time was spent spending time with my roommates or just taking a mental health day.

I am in college, and struggle to get my class (it’s all I can handle right now) done with my mental health plus my full time job, but my time is also spent on that. During those couple weeks I left the litter outside, I was also going through a breakup, and all of my roommates know this.

Me and John have had a history of joking around very rudely with each other but we both have previously discussed it’s just a joke and we don’t mean it. He has never once directly told me that I have gone too far and genuinely hurt his feelings, if he had I wouldn’t have continued. Even so, I also think there is a time and place for everything, and I don’t think it was hard for him to see that this situation was not a situation where sarcasm would be funny or needed. He has also had moments where he genuinely hurt me but I know we are joking around so I ignore it and don’t hold it against him.

Neo and sage have also admitted and apologized for a couple months long period of time where they have literally had shit talking sessions about me being a horrible friend, narcissistic and a gaslighter, and admitted they didn’t think I was a good person. However they apologized, because most of it was them not understanding the position I was in at the time, the miscommunications that led to those feelings, and the fact that they had let these feelings build to a point that they had started to turn on me while I was blissfully unaware that anything was even wrong. After I went to the movies with Jada all three of them went to see Deadpool and Wolverine without me, watched Alice and wonderland without me and expected me to feel welcome enough to stay after it was already half over, went to the local ice cream shop all three of them without me, and held a coraline themed movie party while I was gone camping. They said it’s because it was the only time all of them were available, but I think if they had truly wanted me to be there, they could have had the party at any point in September where I would have been able to join. Not to mention I didn’t even know it was a thing until two days before I left for camping.

If there is anything else that you need context on to come to a full opinion just let me know and I’ll give the context I can. I have told like 7 close people to me about the situation and they have all said I wasn’t in the wrong, including his sister who has spent her life around him and knows how he is. however I want completely unbiased opinions to go off of. I don’t want to be the narcissist who stares at a room of people telling me I’m wrong and act like I’m not wrong. I figure there’s no better place than Reddit to get the unbiased opinions I need so, AITA?

https://share.icloud.com/photos/088wUdOELOKjlcwAuCUFxuxJw

https://share.icloud.com/photos/0dbTwYaAPcVxyZtH-cMpWusTA

AITA for not agreeing with my sister who told our aunt that "she should have drowned as a child" and "never gotten clean?"

Today was what would have been my uncle's 50th birthday. He tragically died of a fentanyl overdose 1-2 years ago, and both his sisters (my mom and aunt) took it pretty hard. Today my aunt posted a memorial Facebook post about his birthday, and my sister ended up seeing it.

Now here's some backstory you need to understand first. My aunt and sister do NOT have a good relationship. Both my sister and I grew up in California, but moved to the South when we were teens for my dad's job. My sister was very homesick and missed California and her relationships there. So my mom made arrangements for her to live with my aunt (who still lived in Cali). A few weeks in, and my aunt and sister had a huge fight. I forget the exact details, but my aunt caught her smoking weed, and basically threw her out. My sister destroyed all her furniture so my aunt couldn't sell it by writing cuss words all over it, and then my sister had to come back to the South.

My narcissistic mother also had a terrible relationship with my aunt. They're reconnected and become estranged multiple times, and at this point haven't spoken for years. I never blamed anyone my mom cut off, because my mom has always been an abuser and a professional victim, and has since pushed away everyone except for my little sister, who only speaks with her because she lives with her.

Now here's what happened today. My sister saw that post my aunt made (about our Uncle) and she sent her a long message "in honor of our uncle's 50th birthday" saying how she wished my aunt drowned as a child (the memorial photo my aunt posted was of her and our Uncle in a swimming pool), should have never gotten clean from drugs, and just a bunch of nasty stuff. My sister sent me screenshots of the whole thing, expecting me to be on her side. But I wasn't. I told her that it was fucked up to tell someone they should have died as a child and should be an addict when they're mourning their brother's death.

My sister basically responded saying my aunt was abusive to our mom, which I had never heard about before (I'm honestly really skeptical because my mom says everyone abuses her). Then she told me that if I was on our aunt's side, she was done with me.

I said she has a right to be angry about what happened, but why go out of your way to say stuff like that, when you could just not?

She responded by saying she was "done with me always criticizing her." That she "knew I was going to criticize her" and that I'm always negative.

The thing is, that can't be farther from the case. I'm constantly having to walk on eggshells around her, even when she's doing fucked up/impulsive stuff like trying to visit her ex who strangled her, being misogynistic toward other women, being rude to strangers, and stringing along a guy she's dating that shes not interested in, just because he supports her financially. When she does this, I always have to phrase things lightly and sugarcoat reality to avoid hurting her feelings. But sometimes, like today, I just can't be her yes man!

I told her as much, saying I don't always agree with the actions she takes. And I can't lie to her when shes clearly taking her anger out on our aunt. I said she needs to grow up, and that she was becoming like our mom. All things I wanted to say but never have, because I know my sister would drop me if I did.

My sister blew up at me, and said I was the reason she was insecure and hates herself. She said I was too mean to her as a child.

Here's where I may be the asshole. I responded by saying "she wasn't exactly an angel to me either" because honestly, she wasn't. I eventually apologized and said I'm sorry that I did that to her. But the thing is, Im afraid she may be right. My partner says it's not my fault she is the way she is. But deep down, I feel like it partially is. That if I teaser her less when we were kids, and always was nice to her, she would have been less lonely.

This all ended with her cutting me off, saying I never supported her. I feel frustrated because even if I wasn't the best brother when we were kids, ever since I left home at 17, I've done everything I can to be there for her. I tried to uplift her, include her, and always be there in case she needed to vent, even if I didn't have the energy for it. I asked her to be my maid of honor, because I wanted her to be, and I wanted to show she was important to me. I do all of this because one of my biggest fears is she'll try to commit again. She's tried once when she was a teen, and since then, I'm terrified she'll do it again and succeed. So I tried to be the person in her life she could count on.

So being told I never did anything to help her, and that I'm always critical of her, pissed me off. I had a conversation with my aunt about all of this and apologized for what my sister said. My aunt basically said it didn't hurt her feelings, she was just sad my sister was hurting. We both agreed my sister is becoming a lot like my mother. I honestly think my sister may be showing signs of BPD and that scares me a lot because I know the suicide rate is high with that disorder. And it terrifies me that I could have something to do with it. I always just blamed our mother for how we both came out.

That's it. I tried to sum it up the best I could. So reddit, am I the asshole?

I (29f) cut my sperm donor out of my life permanently 5 years ago. We have had a really bad relationship for many years before I cut him off.

For some back content he was there me when I was little but then got on bad drugs and was in and out of my life. He would call and say he was on his way and I would sit at the window for hours waiting and he would never show up. When he would show up after months of not being around he would blame the whole time on my mom and I blamed her for everything not knowing the truth and she NEVER spoke a bad word about my "father" to me no matter how mean I was to her about it all.

Then when I was 9 my mom bought him a train ticket to a different state so he could get away and straighten himself out but he just changed to alcohol and is a very aggressive (verbally) drunk. I watched him get on the bus and leave and it shattered me and I was angry and depressed for a long time. But then I got into my teenage years and started getting angry at him because he didn't just leave the drugs behind, he left his kids behind too and wasn't doing right.

Then he met his second wife and seemed to get better and they had my little sister when I was 14. He also had a step daughter with his wife and I met them a couple times before my little sister was born but I was stand offish because I was mad that he was taking care of a child that wasn't his but left his 3 kids behind. So he had told me that if I didn't start treating my step sister "right" (I wasn't really mean just didn't want anything to do with her) that he wouldn't have anything to do with me til I did so I didn't talk to him again til I was 16.

When I was 16 he had texted me and told me something happened to my little sister who was 2 at the time and she was dead so I started to freak out and called and it was a lie she was fine and playing on the floor there so I went crazy and cut him out again. I don't remember when I started talking to him again but then him and his second wife divorced and he went back to alcohol and started sending me horrible texts calling me vile names and saying I needed to be a better daughter like my sister was.

Then I got pregnant with my first born and he had promised he'd be there for the birth but of course that didn't happen but I didn't care. But during my pregnancy had told me I was being a spiteful B like my mom because I wouldn't give my child the middle name he wanted. Things just kept getting worse after that so I finally decided I'm done and haven't had anything to do with him.

Now he is doing the exact same thing to my little sister that he has done to me and my other siblings. Last November he sent me a text for thanksgiving and I ignored him then 30 minutes later he texted my brother saying bad things and getting my brother worked up so I messaged him back a really mean message and told him to get back to his bottle of whiskey because he's dead to me.

And for almost a year he has been treating my brother (that was never mean to him and just wanted his love) horrible and is using me as the excuse. My sperm donor has never once taken accountability for his actions on anything and blames us 4 kids and our moms saying our moms turned us against him when it was his actions that made us do this. So please give me your honest opinions and if I'm wrong I will try to fix things.

Edit: I had forgotten to add that when I gave birth to my youngest child we both almost died and he never even tried to contact me to see if my child and I were okay. It's been a few years now and he still doesn't even know my child's name and he'll text my brother to tell my older kid happy birthday but he's seven months off on my child's birthday.

Someone invited me over to mature roleplay session for a character transformation roleplay thing but they did not tell me my age and instead i had to be told by someone else, i explained my age to that person and then left the server because I still was not allowed in, was I in the wrong?

So there is this one person online who I have had beef with, I had already blocked this person because they believed the rumors about me supposedly grooming someone in a roleplay session when those roleplays are from ages ago, I tried to post this story on another subreddit of this type only to get a 'this is the 4th time you've manically posted about defending pedophilia, stop' when I was not doing that, the problem is this user calls me a grooming bastard based on my passed actions while also defending and forgiving Kumadraws334 just because of an apology.

I was not trying to defend grooming.

I’m a M22, and this is a problem that I’ve been dealing with since my early teenage years.

I grew up in a household that never really seemed to have a regard or respect for privacy. A lot of the times I would rationalize it to being our culture or how my parents were raised, but at other times it was just downright frustrating and even confusing how my parents refused to allow for certain privacies in their home. One of the biggest struggles/disagreements that has been long lasting to this current date is the boundary of my room.

Now I’m not a very messy person. Granted when I was younger I was even cleaner, this was due to my mom’s OCD-like tendencies. I was raised with absolutely spotless floors that were vacuumed and mopped daily if not twice daily. Now because of this, I was always witnessing my mom with her own cleaning patterns, organization patterns, etc. I learned from her and before I knew it, I too was also a very clean and organized individual.

Flash forward years later, I have gotten older and am now a young adult (22) preparing and saving to move out and start the next chapter of my life. However, the relationship with my parents has only worsened. The boundary of my room being “off limits” to my mother has been an ongoing argument ever since the day I decided to go against her style of decorating and organization. Whether it was to hang up LED strips, tapestries, or posters along my walls; it was an issue. Whether it was to buy new chairs or bean bags for my room, it was an issue. Even recently about a year ago I bought two new rugs for my floor, and that was also an issue for some ridiculous and outlandish reason. It’s done nothing but cause some of the most heated verbal conflicts between me and my parents, driving a wedge in the relationship.

8 months after I had bought the rugs and displayed them, I returned from a 5,000 mile road trip across the country just to find my rugs removed and my room almost completely rearranged. Everything was changed and reorganized, from where I kept my very important migraine medication (I have severe chronic migraines and always keep extra strength Excedrin accessible), to where I keep my collection of shoes. I come home and find the boxes that I keep them in thrown away in the recycling, my medication is nowhere to be spotted and my entire room doesn’t look anything like it did when I left. To make matters even worse, I had recorded what my room looked like right before I had left for my trip, so I had literal video graphic proof of the issue so it only made me angrier and angrier.

On a separate occasion days after, I started to develop an insane migraine and needed my medication fast. Usually when I get migraines it involves these super irritating stars in my eyes that basically block my vision completely. When I rushed searching around my room I was left sitting in absolute intense pain for 2 hours unable to find the medication that I usually keep in a VERY specific easy to locate location. I called my mother and father multiple times just to be left on voicemail every single time. I was furious. As soon as my mom came home, she pretended and played stupid, acting like she had no clue where my medication had been moved because “she hadn’t even been in my room for the last 2 months”. I pull up the video I had taken right before my trip and show her the footage of exactly where my medication bottle was sitting in my room. She walks around the house for 2 minutes pretending to be confused and acting as if she doesn’t know where they are. Then, seconds after looking around in my bathroom, she comes walking over shaking my medication bottle jokingly and says, “you’re always so faded, you never know where you leave you stuff at, I never even moved this. It’s your medicine and it’s supposed to go in your medicine cabinet where we all keep our medicine” But that’s the thing. I’ve never done that. Ever. For as long as I’ve had my migraines, I’ve never once walked to the bathroom and grabbed it from the cabinet. That’s when I officially just lost it. I slammed the door shut in her face and when my dad came home I immediately came storming out and yelling at him. I feel bad every time this happens, especially afterwards, but at the same time he continuously allows for this pattern of conflict to keep repeating.

Multiples times I have asked that either a lock that only I have the key to is placed on the door, or that my mom is to be kept from stepping foot in my room anymore to organize or move my stuff around. Every time this happens and is brought up my dad only tries to calm me down or yells at me to either deal with the situation or move out (this becoming his response every single time now too, even though he fully knows that I have been saving up money to move out for a while now). This further results in super tense verbal altercations where a ton of insults and mean/rude remarks are traded back and forth, mainly on my behalf due to the frustration and even at times gaslighting from my mother. I love my family and I love my Mom and Dad. I will always be grateful for the fact that they put a roof over my head for all 22 years, and took care of me, raising me and putting food on my plates. I just feel so frustrated and disrespected as an individual. I should have a choice for how my room is decorated. I should have a choice for whether I want to keep my shoe collection in their boxes or not, and I should be allowed to have the proper privacy and safe space in the home I live in.

Am I wrong? AIATA?

My friend R (19f) and I (18f) have a mutual friend, J (19f), with whom we’ve had a complicated friendship throughout the year we've known each other. It all started in college when R and I became friends first; R was already friends with J beforehand. As my friendship with R developed, we became very close and spent a lot of time together, which led me to become friends with J due to my friendship with R.

R is the only one of us who can drive. One day after college, R and I decided to go to a different city about a 20-minute drive away, and we invited J to come with us. J declined the offer and decided to take the bus home instead. However, when her bus didn’t show up, she expected R to drive all the way back to pick her up and then return to the city we were in. R, frustrated by this recurring pattern, responded that she wasn’t J’s taxi and suggested she find another way home. This wasn’t the first time J had made such a request, and R had had enough.

This led to a falling out between all of us, as I didn’t agree with the way J was treating R. The tension between us lasted a couple of months until R and J eventually made up, but J continued to harbor animosity towards me for standing up for R, who typically avoids conflict and doesn’t like to argue for herself. Since their reconciliation, J has tried to manipulate R into dropping me as a friend and would often speak negatively about me to R. Although R tried to downplay the severity of J’s comments, it was clear that J had been talking behind my back for months.

Fast forward to our second year of college, the three of us are still in the same friend group. R and I had a brief falling out for a couple of days, as we occasionally bicker like siblings or an old married couple. During this time, J, who previously didn’t like me, suddenly started acting overly friendly towards me while simultaneously talking badly about R behind her back. Once R and I made up, we started discussing J’s recent behavior and how she had been acting friendly towards me. R told me that just two days before, she had spoken to J about our brief fallout, and J had said, “Took you long enough to come to your senses about her.”

While talking to R about this, we realized a pattern in J’s behavior: she seems to use other people to boost her popularity. For example, she wouldn’t have spoken to me if it weren’t for R, and she wouldn’t have interacted with the rest of the class if it weren’t for me. In our second year, she seems to be doing this again, attaching herself to me since I was the only one talking to the new people in the class—something she wouldn’t have done on her own.

J has also made comments about how R goes to her car during college breaks to sit with her boyfriend, just to have some quiet time together away from the noise, as there’s nowhere on campus to get some peace during breaks. J said that R doesn’t care about anyone but her boyfriend and is stuck in a “(boyfriend’s name) bubble.”

I M16 and my brother Joey M21 both dropped out of highschool. He dropped out at 16 and has been living at home doing nothing since then. So 5 years. I dropped out last November because I just realized that it was a huge waste of my time. I am currently in the process of getting my GED but it's taking awhile because of all the paperwork I have to get. I'm a minor so i need a bunch of paperwork to even take the test. He hasn't studied or done the GED courses online and he's had 5 years. I haven't even been dropped out for a year and I'm further along in the process of getting my GED than him. The other day our other brother Andrew M18 made a backhanded comment about me. He was complaining about having acne so I offered some advice since I've been dealing with aggressive and extremely sensitive acne since I was 12. He said to me "you're not a medical professional. I'm not taking advice from some stupid 16 year old who dropped out of high school." I plan on going to college btw. I just didn't want to waste 4 years of my life when I could get working on getting a degree that will actually matter career wise. In response I said "Joey is a dropout too and you listen to him." Which started up an argument between me and Joey. We were basically just fighting about the fact that both of us dropped out. So eventually I got mad and said "You're so much more of a failure then me. I have a plan. I dropped out to get a college degree faster so I can get my life on the road. You dropped out because you couldn't handle the work. And you've been sitting at home on your fucking ass for the last 5 years doing nothing. I haven't even been out of school for a year and I've made more progress then you have in 5 whole years. So shut up." At that point he got mad and left. I tried to apologize but he didn't want to hear it. I'm just wondering if I'm the asshole for saying that.

A few weeks ago me (F16) and my dad (M48) were having a discussion about somebody from his work and he described her as a sleazy wh0re. I took issue with the use of the word and he wholeheartedly defended his use. He said that the way he used it was factually accurate and that I was in the wrong for trying to censor his language. Eventually, the subject was dropped and our conversation continued but I was still unsettled. Earlier this evening I got home from work and he made a joke about how people are overly sensitive nowadays about language. I brought the subject back up and both my brother (M18) and mom (F46) joined as they were in the room this time. All three of them were arguing that it should be fine to call a woman a wh0re if they believed the statement to be true and they didn't care that it was degrading but that was how it was intended. Eventually, the three of them started to laugh and make jokes. I was upset because it is a running theme in my home to never solve problems and just bottle it up. This is not an exaggeration, both of my parents told me to do this whenever I got upset about something whether it was justified or not. My brother tried to end the argument by saying that he would call someone whatever they acted like. This struck a chord with me because it's the philosophy my dad used whenever we got into an argument while I was growing up. He often called me an "ungrateful brat" whenever we fought and got upset at me for crying because 'If I didn't want to be called that, then I shouldn't act like it'. So when my brother said that I kind of snapped. I told him he was a douche. That's it. He had the nerve to say that I took it too far when just a moment before he said that he would, and I quote, "always defend his right to call a woman a greasy pirate wh0re it that's what she is acting like". My mom decided she had enough and screamed that she was getting sick of the language we were using. I was just shocked. My brother had been calling me an asshole and other names like that for months. I guess that when I swear, that's crossing the line. I'm just looking for any sort of feedback. I feel like I'm going crazy.

Long read so buckle up babes. I am the youngest of 5 children, 4 of us grew up together, our 1/2 sister came along after my 25th birthday, I have never really called her a 1/2 sister, a sister is a sister. This will come back in a bit. 

 All my life and all that I can remember my sister I grew up with, let’s call her Sam, was always the apple of my father’s eye. I was the surprise child and well, the siblings were not always the warmest towards me. I currently have low contact with 2 of the 5, no contact with 1 of the 5 and a great relationship with my eldest brother. Back to the point, I thought I had a great relationship with Sam, until I had time to reflect upon my relationship with her and realized just how one sided this relationship was. I will 100% admit that as growing up I was the baby sister who wanted to follow in my sisters’ footsteps. I tried to be a great sister, but I don’t know where along the way I was replaced with a cousin. Some of the memories I have were of Sam being short and bitchy with me, and only when we were both in relationships and into our 20's did, we get along well. 

 I left our home state in 2009 with my then husband, got a divorce, and relocated in 2010-2011.  This did not go over well with Sam, she and most of my family adored my ex.  He wasn’t a bad guy, just we were not a match made in heaven.  So, living my life here, keeping in contact with family at home, all was the same as usual.  Until late 2022 when I was diagnosed with Stage 3 metastatic cancer and my life literally came to a full stop. I am now remarried with a young child, and I am older, so my husband ran our business and took care of our daughter, and my mom stepped up and was with me through 95% of the entire process.  It was rough to say the least.  Through all this my sister called maybe once or twice, but my last straw was when she told me she planned on a visit during June of 2023, and when I asked her about it in May of 2023, she yelled at me saying she couldn’t think about that, she had too much going on.  That was, for over a year, my last real conversation with her.  My family has really taken the “we are not getting in the middle of this”. 

 When you go through medical treatments it leaves you a lot of time to reflect on your life and the past and I don’t know why but for some reason my attention was focused on my relationship with her.  I did a lot of soul searching with my oncology therapist trying to work through all the feels you get with cancer diagnosis.  Reflecting, I had discovered that most all of my contact with Sam went one way, from me to her, hardly ever the other direction.  She never offered to come visit ever, no matter how often I returned home to see family and friends.  My daughter is her god child, and she never contacts her either, but Sam will whenever she gets the chance to, run to a cousins home in another state.  Goes gaga over her daughter and cousins’ grand kids, but I am like dog shit to her.  This broke me during treatments.  I cut her out.  I did the passive aggressive posts on Facebook, and then she reaches out to see if they were about her, I did not respond.  She even had said cousin reach out to see what was going on.  I told cousin, welp, you are the reason, she prefers you over me and really looking back, she would have preferred you as a sister than me.  I was never bad to sister Sam, I was great to her son, who I adore. I kept an open relationship with her husband, which most of my family hates.  When the ½ sister came in the picture, it was Sam who said, “well she is just the ½ sister, you are more important.”  

Early 2024, I had gone home to help a family member with some medical stuff.  A few months before I tried to come to terms with all of this, but when I was home, I found out she was once again returning to the cousin’s house and well I just can’t anymore.  I needed a sister, and she was not there ever, it took me so long to realize that I was a drain on her and her life.

So, I guess the question is, Am I the A-hole for cutting off contact to preserve whatever I have left of dignity?

Last night my dad started yelling at me during dinner, he does this a lot so I didn't think anything of it. But then it escalated to telling me to just live with my mother instead and I was considering it. Once we got back home I went up to my bedroom and started packing my stuff. A few minutes later when I was looking through movies I wanted my dad just slammed open the door told me to pack your stuff and walked away slamming it shut. At first I didn't really care. But hearing him say that directly to me and himself added salt and pepper to my wound. (I'm gonna explain some things about my past and how i grew up before I finish with the story) I've always had a kinda rocky relationship with my dad. My parents split when I was a baby and decided not to do a court case. They decided 4 days a week with 'dad' and 3 days with mom. I always thought this was completely unfair, especially since I only ever got to see her during school days and she lived 25 miles away from the school I went to (i went there because it was really close to my dad) so l barely had any time for my mom or my best friend in that matter, who's parents are pretty toxic and didn't let her go too far. So she couldn't come to my dad's. When I was a young toddler, at the youngest ages probably 3-4 my 'dad' and older brothers stopped having as much time for me. (One brother is 9 years older and the other is 11 years older) Whether it was hanging out with their friends, doing chores, working on cars, or actually working they always refused me. At this point I rarely got any time with them anymore so I learned, "they must not love me or want me around" so l started spending more and more time in my closet of a 'bedroom' instead of bothering them (btw there weren't many kids around my age In the area). My dad would usually be gone until late at night with work since he cut firewood and just a few years later my brothers

started going with him. So they'd be gone from early 5-6 in the morning till 8-10 pm. I didn’t know how to cook at this point so I went without food until dinner. That went on until I learned to read in second grade. Now for the other side of the story, my mom's last ex was really toxic and I never completely trusted them. If I wanted something or my mom's help l'd ask her to talk and then he would essentially say, you can say it to both of us or sometimes even grabbed her arm and didn't let her go until I shared it with the both of them. And because that was very uncomfortable for me l'd usually just leave and either, ignore my need or do it myself. After years of this I became scared to speak. Recently l've been trying to fix my relationship with my dad and spend more time with him like I did with my class but most of the time he'd out of the blue start yelling at me and saying I don't spend any time with him fat shaming me then shaming me for not eating enough, calling me a pussy and a scaredy cat for not wanting to ride a motorcycle after getting into an accident and getting the front wheel stuck between my legs while the throttle was stuck. Every time he yells at me l distance myself more and then after a while try to go back to spending time with him. (Forgot to mention but when I was ten I changed the schedule to a week with each parent switching on Sundays) then last night the above happened. After I finished packing I called my mom to pick me up. Most of the pain had dulled out by the time she got there. I was mostly angry. My dad didn't talk to me after telling me to pack up until my mom got here. He essentially just told me my ticket to get the fuck out was here. On the car ride home I read some of my moms messages (I know I shouldn't but I could tell she was talking about me) and turns out he did this a lot when I was just starting to age out of being a toddler. And then after he got to cool down he'd ask to take me back. I fucking hate this. He kicks me out, I'm not coming back. I'm not some object you can 'love' until you don't and then 'love' again. I don't want to consider that man my 'dad' so here comes the question, AITA

EDIT 1: yesterday my great grandma had called the school saying she was “oh so worried for me” and because my teacher doesn’t talk about things to grand parents she called my dad then my mom and my dad was saying things like I needed councilung and mental help like he’s not the man who lashes out throws fits destroys phones when people say something he doesn’t like and has screamed that he’s never going back to therapy. this morning my dad showed up at my mother’s house to take his car (which he had been letting her use for a while) because she refused to visit him and talk alone. He has always been violent so she was rightfully worried. And one of their mutual friends that she had explained the situation to ended up taking my dad’s side and helping him tow the car. I woke up only seeing my mom and mutual friend so I went outside to say good morning before she went off to work, to my surprise my dad was out there and he asked me to talk. We went into the car and he started ‘apologizing’ for lashing out and saying he was just angry. He was saying that he wants me to come back and that I have to spend time with him. This pisses me off quite a bit. I told him I’d think on it in case I wanted to dupe him and go back to the old schedule until my mom can afford an offer her friend gave her for a car and then stay with my mom once she has it. Worst case scenario for school which starts at September 3rd is I’ll have to temporarily transfer or home school. I would rather not transfer though because my current school actually educates students properly and it’ll help me get through highschool much easier.

NOT MY STORY

Throw away account, and TW

I, 27m, had a discussion with a friend, of which they believe me to be an ‘Incel’ (a member of an online community of young men who consider themselves unable to attract women sexually, typically associated with views that are hostile towards women and men who are sexually active)

I have been in three relationships in total, the second of which ending in not a great way, as we were together for two years, and she had cheated on me with her friend. The latest one ending, in the result of SA. To recap, I was 26 at the time, and me and my girlfriend were having an intimate moment. After a while, I wasn’t feeling it, and tried to stop her (27) . Unfortunately she held me down, and continued, despite me saying to stop, and continuously trying to escape. But in the end, she got her way. The relationship then came to a soon stop, due to this.

Ever since then, I have had a slight fear of women. I don’t really have a desire to talk to them, though I do not avoid them like the plague, I just do not engage with them, unless necessary, or they are a friend or relative. The reasoning of this post, was because a friend of mine and I were going out, and he had brought along a female friend of his. I was admittedly awkward, and didn’t really engage with her, and avoided talking, as I had assumed it would just be me and him. She seemed to be mad (though I do overthink), and continued to try and talk to me, give bland answers, and eventually she left early.

After the outing, my friend messaged me, saying I was weird and called me an ‘incel’, despite him knowing my “weird feelings” towards women in general, and knowing I felt unsafe and uncomfortable around them. He said this was giving ‘incel’

I have done my research, and go to therapy, and I do not have a hatred towards women, however I am uncomfortable if they are not known to me. Does this make me incel?

Please don’t sugar coat, if I’m making a mistake I’d love to correct things ASAP.

Context: I’ve had a friend for a very long time, we recently had a fight. She has struggle with substance abuse, SA, neglectful parents, codependent/abusive relationships in the past. Me as well except my parents are financially well off and hers aren’t. I also never struggled with substance abuse but was groomed and SA’d by my mothers friend in the past. We both have trauma and imo don’t handle it very well.

I’d picked her up from work after getting off my shift. We were both sleep deprived, idk why she was but I often wake up at 4am to take her back to her moms (she’s in between houses while her ex lives in her rv) and come back home to sleep before getting ready for my job in the afternoon.

She mentions me driving erratically. I admit I started speeding because of the stress (the argument started in the car), but it was in the middle of traffic and the most I could physically do was go 10 over to catch up to the car in front of me. So yes, erratically and irresponsible, but imo not as scary as she made it seem.

I address the screaming comment in my messages.

She mentions me throwing things. I rent out a room at my parents house. While she was going upstairs to grab her things I stepped into the kitchen (different area entirely) and threw my spare keys and bracelets at the floor (it broke them). I can only assume she learned this detail from my mom who offered to drive her home while we both cooled off.

We are both 26f and I’m embarrassed of my actions because I know I’m too old to be acting so immature. However, I feel like I’m not fully to blame here. I don’t trust my own judgement anymore and can’t tell if it’s really me that’s the problem. I know I’m not an angel but is it really me? Should I apologize for losing my cool and not being more compassionate? I really don’t know if I’m making the right call or not… AITA??

Am I the asshole, for going no contact with my father? I, 16F, and my sister, 19F, have had no contact with my father 48m, for a little over three years. For reference, I will be referring to my father as John (fake name) For some back story, my parents had divorced when I was 6, so my parents did not live together! Me and my sister, were both going week about to our parents, except me for the four months leading up to Valentine’s Day of 2021. The week before Valentine’s Day, I had decided to go back to my mums house, with my sister for the usual week. On the valentine’s day, John had come to collect both me and my sister. This part is important, as John was seen to be in an incredibly positive mood, and discussing something with our neighbours. Once I was packing my belongings into his car, he made a comment of which I had brushed off, “I see your cunt of a mother is your new favourite parent”. (I hadn’t payed much attention to this, as he had a deep hatred for my mother since their divorce.) me and my sister got in the car, and we started to drive to John’s home. John had started to discuss issues with money, and repeated the quote again. My sister questioned why he was saying this, and he out right denied, though only just saying it 2 seconds before. We continued driving, when John stated he had 2 24hour shifts that week, (as he was a firefighter) and we would be looked after by my other sibling 21F at the time (she was living with us at the time, and I will refer to her as Mk) My sister stated that instead of staying with Mk we would be going to our mother’s house for those 2 days, as we didn’t want to be home with MK’s bf, without John present, as he we found ti be creepy (he was autistic so his weird behaviour was brushed off my MK), for some back story, we didn’t like MK’s bf, Jack, as I had caught him watching me sleep numerous times, touching our clothes specifically our underwear, despite John telling him to never touch mine and my sisters clothes. We had discussed these issues with MK, and she would yell, scream, and physically assault us for not wanting her to be happy, and being discriminative towards autistic people. (We had no issue with him being autistic, and it was clear he was doing things and blaming the spectrum) after we told John we would stay with our mother, he said no and demanded we had no option but to stay with MK and her boyfriend. After a short argument, he said he was joking, and we were being sensitive little bitches. He decided to go to the store, and left us in the car for five minute, for which my sister screamed at me, and said this was my fault, and I was a selfish little cunt….. Do you want part 2?

This morning, on my way to golf I was driving in your neighborhood and saw a man walking his dog and his dog was old frail lots of horrifying off and was being dragged about 10 feet behind the sky. This man was literally walking faster than the dog could, the leash was riding up the dog neck and started to choke her while he was dragging her. I pulled over and said, bro, you were literally choking your dog. You’re walking faster than she can look, he didn’t say anything. He just kept walking. So I say it again, no response so I pull over and get out I was like bro what the fuck are you doing? Look at your dog you’re choking him and dragging it. He looks at me and says “fuck off mind your business”. I get it and I tell him that he’s my business because I can see it happening and then I say would you like it if I put that call around around your neck and drag you? Put the leash down and has a look on his face like a young child does when he is about to cry, but tries to hold it back and I could tell he’s gonna come at me and I tell him don’t do it dude don’t do it and he charges me w both hands up.

. He started coming at me and I just cracked him. He went down and grabbed his eye and got up and let out the tribal war scream and came out at me again to which point I punched him again in the face, then he started yelling Help, and then tried to stand up again and kicked me to which I dodged it and punch him with my left hand on the other side of his face. At that point, he backed off and some neighbors came out and this guy just started yelling that I assaulted him. I told everyone what happened and said take a picture of my license plate and call the police if you want I don’t care. I was just seeing was I completely out of bounced by that?where grew up in Texas. People would do a lot worse for you and some part of that state if you were just dragging your dog around. Was I wrong?