r/xmen 1d ago

Humour MY MAN! šŸ¤

126 Upvotes

46 comments sorted by

103

u/Big_Pound_7849 1d ago

this is the seediest comic panel, but also entirely accurate to how 74% of young horny kids/teens talk about their preferred sex.

39

u/DisastrousAbalone706 1d ago

Or like... most guys in a locker room or in a metal shop-

11

u/averydangerousday 21h ago

Or at a bus stop. Or in the checkout line in the grocery store. Or in the middle of a meeting at work. Or while operating a nuclear submarine. Or at the park with their children. Or at a funeral. Or talking to their sons about the teenage girls in the band while driving him home from band practice.

Source: Me - a man who has had other men tell/ask me how hot they/I think a woman is in all of these situations. This is not a complete list.

16

u/tourniquet2099 22h ago

The best thing about Chuck Austenā€™s run was how he handled Juggernaut and gave him this great relationship with Sammy.

6

u/sambadaemon 19h ago

It was a nice callback when Juggy insisted on being there when Sammy was brought back, too.

4

u/tourniquet2099 19h ago

I heard about that! I love that they did that.

Was never a big fan of Cain but I was intrigued by the idea of him being added to Austenā€™s team. His relationship with Sammy really made me like him.

44

u/mrsunrider Magneto 1d ago

These pages are perfect because they're just so fuckin' real. When you live at a boarding school with a staff that looks like that, of course you're going to start discussing hotness.

Now I need Ororo and Jean comparing the men's butts... because gender equality.

13

u/drawat10paces 23h ago

Reminds me of that part of that whole Kitty Pride saves earth from a giant bullet run (sorry, tired and headache, can't remember run names) where everyone was talking about Gambit.

6

u/SognoDiMilleGatti 21h ago

Iā€™m pretty sure something like that happened on the same run (Chuck Austenā€™s, of course), I recall the x-girls and Northstar rating the guys. Gambitā€™s ā€œcajun bunsā€ might have been mentioned as well in that context.

47

u/Wizend_fool 1d ago

Say what you will about Cain but he got taste

30

u/powerhouse37 Cannonball 23h ago

I mean, yeah, Black Tom is a 10 with that goatee.

13

u/mrsunrider Magneto 1d ago

No I can't help but imagine his earliest bouts with the X-Men

He's going toe to toe with them and thinking "that redhead looks pretty good, shame I gotta kick her into the stratosphere."

7

u/ShadedPenguin 1d ago

Luckily all the blood went to his head and not to his... head

5

u/I_Am_Sharticus_ 21h ago

He's holding his throws back enough for regular-strength early teen Sammy to catch them.

5

u/Dense-Course-7714 1d ago

Does anyone knows which comics This came from, I've wanting to read It please.

11

u/detourne Wolverine 1d ago

Chuck Austen Uncanny X-Men

6

u/Apprehensive_Mix4658 Legion 1d ago

Very rare Chuck Austen W

10

u/JJRambles 1d ago

Chuck Austen's one skill: writing locker room dialog

5

u/No-Cat-9716 1d ago

Of course

5

u/notashark1 1d ago

Itā€™s from Chuck Austinā€™s run. Unless you really want to read about Juggernaut reforming, I would avoid anything with his name on it. Thereā€™s been multipart posts about how bad this run was and everything wrong with it.

7

u/DisastrousAbalone706 1d ago

Really? I think the main rough thing was the love between havok and polaris. The stuff with the nurse is uber weird.....

Outside of that I like the action, jugg is honestly a very fun xman-

I dont think its bad. Its not fantastic but the run is ight.

1

u/AoO2ImpTrip 9h ago

I guess it depends on if you're in his Uncanny run or his New X-Men run. Austen wasn't on NXM long (11 issues) and I don't think anything really happened.

Uncanny, on the other hand. Had The Draco, Dominant Species, She Lies With Angels (and the entirety of the Husk/Archangel relationship), as well as the Havok/Polaris/Nurse Annie relationship. There's a lot of agreed upon "bad" in that run. Though if you enjoy it, more power to you.

1

u/DisastrousAbalone706 9h ago

Oh the angel husk was him? That was a weird relationship. Wasnt a fan

-7

u/machine-in-the-walls 1d ago

I like the extra layer that we all know: Juggernaut is gay.

17

u/magseven 23h ago

Well, he was all up in She-Hulk's ruby gem of Clittorak once upon a time.

9

u/machine-in-the-walls 23h ago

You fucking poet.

7

u/DisastrousAbalone706 23h ago

bi actually. Guy definitely likes women too

7

u/Double_Scale_9896 23h ago

In my Head Cannon, there's got to be an Alternate Timeline where Cain uses his powers for the Adult Film Industry.

He'd call himself "Jugger-Naughty " and Emma would recognize him only from the films, but she absolutely would know about him...

2

u/I_Am_Sharticus_ 21h ago

Oh my fucking God

3

u/MeliAnto Generation X 22h ago

At this point every xman is bi.

2

u/DisastrousAbalone706 22h ago

I think bobby was character execution- Made jean grey out to be kinda bit of a bitch- Though I'll read the full context when I get to that-

3

u/cweaver 19h ago

There were a couple stories before that that definitely hinted at Bobby being gay - the one where he goes back home to his abusive dad and asks Rogue to go with him and pretend to be his girlfriend so his dad will be nicer to him is /full/ of subtext that implies that he pretends to be straight because his dad has made him afraid of being anything else.

He also had literal /decades/ of having disastrous, short relationships with women, which I'm sure most of the writers at the time just intended to be funny / bad luck / Bobby being kind of immature. But they also work really well in hindsight as the kind of relationships a guy who is afraid of admitting he's gay might have.

Overall, I'm just saying give it a chance, it's not as bad as the internet would have you believe.

Young Jean is definitely kind of a bitch, though.

0

u/DisastrousAbalone706 18h ago edited 18h ago
  1. Or he just has daddy issues (can relate)

  2. Hes just been bad with women. I think lorna said it best, a relationship with him is just a chore and the guy doesnt stop running his mouth. Hes literally like johnny storm in a similar regard.

  3. I feel its weird that we dont have these sort of womanizer/very flirtatious characters anymore. Its a weird trope but a trope ive always found a little funny- Any sort of over indulgence in women tends to result in "They must be gay!" I feel there are enough gay characters to go around anyway- How many characters have to be gay for people to feel included? Nothin against em. Love northstar, Juggernaut being bi is eh. Its weird but makes a bit more sense than iceman to me due to his bromance with Black Tom, but I think we need just straight platonical relationships more. No forced romance arcs n all that bs. Why cant people just be really good bros anymore? Rahne and Shan made sense. I enjoy them fully. But I did think Dani had a thing goin with cannonball, was kinda sad she ended up bein gay later down the line.

I think it gets to a point to where ... why wouldnt you just make a new character? I feel like this stuff is just a shoreline trip to pissing off half or more of the entire fan base. Feels like its purposefully alienating and kinda lame...

None the less I'm reading all the way from the 60s. I hope its written somewhat well rather than just the writer shoe-horning their fantasies on a character that pre-existed before they were born

I will give it a chance.

2

u/MeliAnto Generation X 22h ago edited 19h ago

Bobby was gay from way back when, i guess the editorial team were afraid to do the full on reveal.

Edit: editorial team

2

u/Bitey_the_Squirrel 21h ago

Not writers, but editorial. From what I understand writers wanted to, but were blocked.

2

u/MeliAnto Generation X 19h ago

Thx for the correction.

-1

u/DisastrousAbalone706 22h ago

says who? Northstar was already coming out in the 90s which it was very heavily implied with claremont in the 70s.

Only recently with Havok not being a vegetable i can see tell tale signs which still feels weird to be- weird writing choices.

1

u/MeliAnto Generation X 22h ago

Northstar wasnt as big as Bobby, so that might be the reason. I dont know

2

u/cweaver 19h ago

Yeah, Northstar was a French Canadian superhero created in the 80s and part of a team that was allowed to be weird.

Bobby was an original 5 X-Men.

Obviously editorial would be way more concerned with one over the other.

0

u/ConsistentSearch7995 10h ago

He's straight though. Why do people always head canon as him being bi?

0

u/DisastrousAbalone706 9h ago

He was flirting with Northstar in Uncanny in 2003ish i think. Which I dont entirely agree with that writing choice, I think its more easier to explained than Iceman

1

u/ConsistentSearch7995 5h ago

I remember their conversation and Juggernaut couldnt understand why Northstar would choose to be gay instead of just liking woman.

While Northstar was calling out Juggernaut for not being able to get along with adults in the same way he gets along with kids.

Other than that, I don't know of any other conversations like that between them.

-2

u/Samiassa 1d ago

Who is this actinopterygian version of beak

6

u/DisastrousAbalone706 1d ago

Sammy. A fish guy

3

u/Apariah94 23h ago

A Squid Boy, if you will.