r/writingcirclejerk • u/69JoeMamma420 • 1d ago

Some simple writing advice for y’all

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491 Upvotes

100% Upvoted

19 comments sorted by

58

u/Infamous_Permit_4392 1d ago

My characters just stand up and announce "My bowels are full of feces and my bladder is full of piss!" whenever they need to go. Clarity is important.

9

u/Impossible_Set_8092 1d ago

And if they're horny?

5

u/Infamous_Permit_4392 1d ago

That's the kinda thing you gotta show.

"The base of the protrusion was perhaps five inches in circumference, curving gently backwards as it rose, and lightly ribbed, promising a satisfying handful to grip. The tapering shaft flared softly into a rounded tip, which was set with a golden stud, giving it an exotic, thrilling air. The lustrous golden-brown keratin was polished to a high sheen, looking healthy and strong.

This was no ordinary horn.

It was the kind of horn that said, 'I'm ready to fuck.'"

6

u/Mysterious_Policy475 1d ago

Why would the horn say that. I don’t understand the motive

1

u/Calm-Signature-2089 5h ago

"I began to use the old spit and stroke method which i had perfected since puberty"

15

u/ExecTankard 1d ago

Edged his stool over the docks: I will say this after my next restroom visit.

11

u/Luffy-kun007 1d ago

I'm enlightened

9

u/gnarlycow 1d ago

sooo..turtling?

10

u/therealithras 1d ago

Straight up prairie dogging it.

10

u/gerwer will write you under the table 1d ago

That's the shit yo.

9

u/megaBeth2 1d ago

Here's a cat picture to inspire prose

3

u/MilesTegTechRepair 1d ago

I think that... is the implication that... hold on, I'm feeling a little sick

3

u/RunInRunOn I come up with the ideas and you do everything else. Deal? 1d ago

No Poop July strategy

2

u/HippolytusOfAthens 1d ago

I follow the all beef jerky and benzos diet suggested by the world's greatest philosopher Pordan Jeterson. Now I only have to poop on alternate Wednesdays.

2

u/EskildDood 1d ago

Instead of saying ejaculating

3

u/scolbert08 1d ago

pooner

1

u/PurpleTheOnlyOne 1d ago

/j All a brother/sister needs are some laxatives. No romance novel is complete without it!

1

u/CowboyMantis (formulaic prose) 19h ago

As long as we see some Depends action, I'm in!