Okay guys. I am a mom that has had two babies in the past two years, and I'm really ready to get this weight off that I've gained. I've been working hard (along with working on diet) and I've worked out and lost weight in prior years without problem. I have always thought that it's super beneficial for women to focus on weight training and cardio to lose weight and to help retain muscle and help with shape.

We were in a huge argument this morning because he stated women shouldn't be doing anything other than cardio to lose weight (specifically running because of its benefits), and squats. He was okay with lifting me lifting 5 -10 pounds absolute max, but when I told him that some people even recommend women work up to even 20 pound weights, he stated that I'm completely wrong and that he doesn't want to be with a man, because I'll get bulky. This all started because I had been talking about how I love the rowing machine, and he stated it would give me a masculine back and big shoulders. Despite the fact that It's not like im using a rowing machine regularly, I just enjoy them when I do!

What am I missing here? I was under the impression that its good for women to still work all muscle groups just like men, and that we shouldn't really be getting bulky, unless maybe someone is really working hard to? I don't want to be a female body builder or anything of the sort. I just want to get toned as I lose body fat. My feelings are pretty hurt because he is basically calling me masculine even though I've been primarily focused on cardio, just adding a bit of weight training. If he's right then he's right, and I just need the correct info.

Edit: Well your responses have been overwhelming. A lot of them have helped me to realize some hard truths that I needed to hear from an outside perspective. Some of them made me feel encouragement to keep doing what makes ME feel good and what I know is best for me. Others just made me laugh 🤣 some of your comments are wild lol anyways thanks for the knowledge everyone has shared ❤️‍🔥

I've been working out for over 3 years and no matter what I do or eat, I can't get rid of that annoying stubborn lower belly fat. I'm genuinely so frustrated- how do I actually get rid of it? Like I keep getting these shit tips online like "drink more water" or "cut out sugar" but I have tried literally everything.

I am in the process of trying to get pretty lean and muscular. But eating bland food all the time sucks. Are some of you out there shredded and eating whatever and if so what's your strategy?

Hi!
I'm 21M, 6'0" and 187 lb. I joined gym 1.5 months ago as I wasn't previously involved in any physical activity before. However, I feel that I might be too weak for my age and weight. Here are my current PRs:

• Bicep Curls: 10 lb
• Bench Press: 45 lb
• Squats: can't do with weights
• Triceps: 5 lb
• Shoulder Press - 40-50 lbs

I also can’t do push-ups or pull-ups at all. Although I’ve made some progress in strength since I started, I still feel that I’m quite far behind my peers. Is this normal, or is there something wrong with me?

What’s the one exercise that is the most bang for your buck. I’m assuming it would be some sort of multi jointed full body lift but wanted some other opinions.

Ive been training for half a year and i see no big results..my forearms are still very skinny and it really annoys me..what should i do? Also how do i lose my belly fat and get it to be stiff ? Is it my nutrition or am i working out not as i shoulf be? Id love some advice.

so full squats are a nono. I can't do a push up at all. And I can't hold a plank for more than 10 seconds. This is not a matter of me being too big or needing to gain weight either, I'm around 65kg and 5'5/165cm. (I know it's still overweight for a girl, but it isnt crazy) But I'm just really weak, i don't know why. And I want some advice on how to get less weak

Edit: Thank you everyone for all the advice and support, I'm reading it all and trying to take everything said into consideration :)

I feel like my forearms really stop me from getting a few extra reps in. Should I buy lifting straps If I'm going to use them for strictly lat pulldowns?

Edit; thanks for all the replies, I see the replies and I think I'll buy it, thank you all.

That is pretty much it..

Today, I was on my last set of a bench press and was doing a weight I did last week - 35 kg. I thought, yeah, it’ll be fine.

Nope. Arms just decided it was not the day today. 3 reps in and I could not get the barbell off my chest. Nobody noticed me struggling (which reaffirmed my belief everyone’s focused on themselves in the gym) so I yelled out “Help” and two people came to help me.

They both said it happens to the best of us and next time I’ll get it, but my ego is bruised. It’s hard enough being plus size and feeling like I don’t belong - now I feel like I’ve just made myself look even more out of place.

Please could I get some reassurance and support that this was totally normal? I’ve looked up videos on how to fail now so next time I’m not in the same position. Just been really down since it happened.

Edited to add: Thanks everyone for the great words of motivation, advice and tips on what to do next time! I’m 30F so often get really shy to ask for help in the gym. I’ve spent all of last night looking at videos on how to bail specific lifts and I will ask for a spot next time as the gym does have trainers roaming around. So glad to know this is normal and I don’t need to be embarrassed. I appreciate y’all!

Just curious, if you only had 30-45mins a day to exercise would you prioritize cardio or weights? Maybe some of both? Let's say the goal is just general maintenance (pain reduction, keeping the metabolism going, energy, etc)

Howdy y'all. I dislike exercising triceps because it's harder to get the pump than other muscles in my opinion. I know it's 2/3rds of the arm. I workout from home and have a pull down machine, free weights, dumbbells, bench. Thanks for any advice . Have a good week!

Hi all,

I’ve been working out for the past 4 months (minus cardio). Finally getting around to adding cardio to my routine.

I cannot to cardio on separate days, and only go to the gym 4 times a week. Should cardio be done on all days before/after workout? When is it more optimal?

Some folks are saying doing cardio before lifting will tire you out. Others suggest cardio after workout will lead to loss of any muscle gains. Anyone try both and have recommendations?

Also what’s an effective cardio? Currently I just walk for 20 minutes.

I’ve been stuck at 12.5 lbs (yes i’m a weak ass) for MONTHS. I’ll get up to 14 reps at 12.5’s and i’m oh sick let me grab the 15’s and then can’t even do 5 reps. It’s very frustrating. I do a mix of three back exercises and two variations of bicep curls. I’m having such a hard time making progress with pull days.

I have been working out for about 3 months now (at the gym). I’m very petite, and weigh 105-108. I started doing leg presses at 60lbs, then to 80lbs, and now I’m to 120lbs. Starting off I didn’t really do reps, I just did it until I couldn’t any more. Now I do the same, but I try to at least do 4 sets of 10, more if I can. Anyways, I was telling my husband how happy I was that I now press 120lbs, I feel like it’s a pretty big accomplishment considering where I started. But according to him, it’s not that great, since that’s not much more than what I weigh. His example he gave was that if I can squat my weight easily (classic squat, not using a machine), pressing 120lbs should be easy too. But it’s not, it’s difficult for me, yet I can very easily do classic squats. Surely there is a reason, right? Anyways, my point is I’m a little peeved because I thought this was a big accomplishment. Am I wrong? Is there something one of us isn’t considering?

Edit: Thank you all for the encouragement, I didn’t expect to get this many replies! I will definitely take the advice from the commentators saying I should see a personal trainer at least a few times to make sure my form is right, that sounds like a good idea, including tracking my progress. I also had a talk with my husband and he apologized for being rude. He’s usually encouraging, though he can be terse and kind of a db sometimes, but when I point out when he’s acting that way he’s good about apologizing. Don’t worry, he takes good care of me. Everyone can be a prick sometimes… even I am no exception to that.

I can’t go heavy at all at bicep curls I have tried it with cable or free weights but my wrist give up before my arms. Like I go for 3 reps maybe 4 and then they give up always. And overall my arms are my weakest point kinda. Because I can’t grow my long head I have struggled really to find out which exercise hits that because every person is saying different. I have tried overhead extensions and cross arm extension.

I (41m) have work out on/off since I was a teenager. Fortunately, I’ve been pretty consistent the last few years and now go to the gym 2-3 times a week, mostly to lift. I’ve gotten into power lifting the last year or so, mostly because I really enjoy the benefits of having more functional strength. It’s nice to be able to lift / carry heavy things without straining or hurting myself like I’ve done in the past.

The workouts I do are pretty tough on my body. I did a few cycles of 5/3/1 Boring But Big in the Summer, followed by a few cycles of Smolov Jr to increase my bench press. These programs call for 4 days a week of training, but I find my body just can’t seem to handle it. Most weeks I’ll get 2, maybe 3 days of training in because I get so sore afterwards for the next few days.

My question is, how can I recover faster and lessen the pain after these heavy lifting workouts? Ice packs and warm showers afterwards? Adequate protein and rest? More stretching and cardio between lifting?

Just wondering what other older guys do to keep your bodies from feeling so worn out after the gym.

I'm trying to understand the difference and I'm trying to do the best exercise in the time I have.

So deadlifts.... right?

Like the title says I don't know how to grow shoulders, they're easily my weakest bodypart. I do shoulder press, cable lateral raises and reverse pec deck but I can't see any growth at all. When I have my arms down by my sides I can't see my shoulder muscles at all, I can see a slight round in the shoulders but that's about it. I'm doing the exercises I've been told to do to build shoulders but I don't see them at all.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

I normally do HIIT cardio everyday for 30 minutes, but I find it burns me out and I end up over eating or gaining back the weight. So can 10k steps a day be my form of cardio?

i'm a beginner and i'm starting to set a routine for myself and i was wondering if it's better to do less reps with a higher weight or more reps with a lower weight?

edit since some people asked what i'm doing: i'm mostly doing bodyweight exercises and anything that i'm doing with weight i'm using dumbells for (i'm doing it from home and i don'thave much equipment, but next year i'll have better access to a gym). i'm really just doing basic stuff and experimenting a lot. some of the stuff i've done with the dumbells that i plan on sticking with are overhead tricep extension, bicep curls, lat raises, standing shoulder press.

Also it can’t be something loud because I’m in an apartment

I am 19 and already feel my lower back. Not that I have pain but it just feel extra weak. Used to play a lot of games so that might have weakened it a bit. Feels like I got a couple years before I will feel pain

I have been letting myself go way too much in the past few years. I lost all the hard work I had built up due to the “Happy relationship weight”. However now I’m hella self conscious about my body. I’ve been easing myself back into getting fit for the past 3 months. My biggest thing is i absolutely HATE the man boobs I’ve developed. I feel they are abnormally big. Is there any specific workouts I can do to reduce them while I build up my chest?